I'm at a strange place in my weight loss/health journey and I would appreciate any advice anyone would like to give. About 3 1/2 years ago I weighed 320 pounds and through serious exercise (60 minutes of hard cardio, six days a week) and weight watchers, I got down to a size 12/14 and had a loss of 140 pounds. However, the down side of that is that I never reached my Weight watcher goal and stagnated at 30 pounds above my goal for nearly a year before I burned out completely and quit going to meetings and following the program.
The problems that led me to quit were boredom with exercise, lack of progress as far as the scale was concerned, and a total obsession with the fact that I had not reached my goal weight of 150. I simply could not appreciate the fact that I had lost nearly half my body weight, and could only see that I had not reached my goal. At the same time, I had a lot of bad luck with bad jobs and marital problems which brought my old friend depression back. All these factors led to my gain of at least 70 pounds (probably more but I don't want to weigh myself) in the past year. Losing weight was not the answer to my life's problems that I wanted it to be, and that disappointment was pretty hard to take.
My question is this: How does one move on after having had a great deal of success but avoid the pitfalls of scale obsession and burn-out? I really don't want to return to weight watchers because I rejoined 3 times last year and I just can't deal with meetings and weigh-ins any more. I struggle with a lot of anger at myself for gaining this weight, and yet my tendency when I feel angry at myself is to eat. Twisted logic, I know. More than anything, I want to feel the satisfaction of being strong and have the knowledge that I can easily carry out whatever physical tasks come my way.
WubbyI haven't wrote outside my own group in a long time. But your post caught my eye and I had to come in a see what you had to say. First of all I know all too well the frustration you are feeling. Been there done that more than once. I wish more than anything that I could come up with words to comfort you and assure you that this too shall pass.
We are addicted and food is our substance. I was talking to someone this morning and told them I had been thanking of something....That I am never at total rest with myself. If I set down in a chair, although I might have been working hard for hours, I feel as if I should be up doing something, and that I don't have time to set and rest. I've always got this emotional thing going on in my head about what I should be doing, what I should have said, and I could go on and on. It's like I have this dis-ease inside and the only thing that I can do to get rid of the feelings is to eat. After I do eat something I shouldn't have and didn't need, then I have to deal with I shouldn't have done that. How can a person be so sick of being fat and keep on eating? It's a driving force within us. I wish I could tell you how to get back on track right now, but I can't. All I know is "Never give up...Never give up. Find a group here at 3fc's and join in, is a big help, but it really comes from inside yourself. You lost that 70 pounds once and you "CAN" do it again. Hang in there and don't give up!!!
Wubby,
I just found your post and had to take a peek! You had a huge weight loss of 140 lbs! You know we never really appreciate things like this and we are never satisfied either . By the looks of your post you gave yourself the same advice I was thinking of telling you. Go back and read your post and you will see what I mean. Losing weight is not the solution to all problems. You learned that the hard way. You know that you have a serious problem with food, you learned that the hard way.Marital problems will still be there if you got to 150 lbs. Losing it for yourself is the only reason to do it. You have to feel you are worth it. I tried to diet last year around Nov, I had family coming over for the Holidays and they had not seen me at my current weight. I didnt realize but the only reason why I really wanted to lose weight is to not be embaressed by them seeing me!!! Well I knew they were coming 5 months ahead of time. I didnt lose a single pound! I wish there was some magical "motivational sprinkle dust" that I can blow over people that have quit or fallen off the wagon. But there isnt. Dont think about going for a walk , just do it. Dont think about "I'll start Monday" , just do it on your next meal. The weather is hot, cold ,raining.... Find time in every day to get exercise in. I dont know what the exact reason or why but one morning ,first week of Feb 2002 I said to myself " No More Excuses" I started that same day. At first I couldnt walk more than 30 min a day 4-5 days a week. There were days where I did NOT want to go ! Days that I just wanted to drive to that 24hr Dunkin Donut shop 1 mile away from my house and eat 3-4 Bavarian Cream donuts! But I didnt do it and I pushed myself. As of Feb/2002 I have lost 31 lbs as of last week's weigh in. I hate jogging or doing Aerobic tapes, but I really enjoy walking at the park,nice breeze and watch the ducks in the lake. I walk like I'm in a hurry now lol. I do 90 min a day 6 days a week. I have two kids and a hubby and there are stressful times . I have made this a priority in my life. If I need to put that load of laundry in an hour later or two, then I will! Well I think I just wrote a short story here lol.
Dont give up and dont Give In to eating when stressed out.
I have a thread in Support section, it's called : Support,Support 4 Week Challenge ,Join Us! " I do small goals for myself each month . I dont want to think of losing 40 more pounds. I look at it as 8-9 pounds in a month. When I get to that goal I set another small goal
Keep your chin up,
Gen
Hey ladies! Wubby, sounds like everyone is giving you good, sound advice. Saw your thread and thought I'd drop in.
One possibility that you might think of is going to a marriage councilor, if the problems are serious. Many church organizations have counceling personnel on staff, since it can sometimes be unaffordable. I don't know how serious the problems in your marriage are, but maybe getting a handle on those issues will lead to a better outlook for you....which will hopefully lead to a more successful way to deal with your emotional eating.
Just a thought. I actually have a friend who went to a councellor and after she and her husband got back on track with their problems, they started doing things together more, and she eventually lost some weight because she wasn't so stressed and eating to cure her heartache.
Lost 140, gained back 70......what next?
