journey into the unknown

wow, it’s amazing how a simple walk can make me feel so great. Thursday I walked at the gym on the treadmill. THen I slept well on thursday night. Well my husband came home on thursday night and stayed until friday. Friday at work he called to see if i wanted lunch, and of course he brought me something. Then out of nowhere i recieve some roses. At work! It was so sweet. I cried. He was trying to be sweet to me, and it worked. I loved the surprise. (you see, dh is not much of spontaneous romantic) the card said, I love you, Have a great day…..of course many would be suspicious of roses but i am not. I know him, and he said if we could afford roses on occasion he would send them. Well with his new job, we could afford them and he was just so happy that we are prospering well right now. Also I was so frustrated on Thursday with the kids and housework, that when he came home, I was not exactly welcoming and warm. So he knew how i was feeling and knows how busy and hectic my work can be so he said he hoped I would perk up and smile so when I came home I would be happy to see him. I was though. Happy to see him, just frustrated with the kids.

Anyways I feel so much better. I keep hearing that people are really losing weight walking, so That’s my excercise. I walk on the treadmill. I really get my heart rate to about 140’s to 160’s. Man I feel so good about my food choices while I am on an excercise regime. I choose heathier foods. I eat less at a meal because I don’t want to waste too much time walking if I am not going to be healthier. Maybe when I can jog a little I will. ANy ways I have confidence I will lose something this time. I have already maintained the 4 lbs I ve lost since august. I just have to kick it in gear and start journaling my foods and activities for at least 4 or 5 times a week.

You know what else helps? This picture I have of myself. I found it while cleaning out my linen closet. It was taken 09 years ago. I looked so healthy. Then i decided to take a current picture of me at this current weight. I printed it on my printer and have those pictures in my wallet. So everytime I think about giving up I look at these two pictures for inspiration. I never imagined I looked this unhealthy. I just thought…well i don’t know what I thought.

I have set my goal weight for 165. It’s healthy for me. I have hips and thighs now. I don’t want to look stick thin, I just want to be healthier and more energetic for my kids.

one more thing.

 I found these quotes and really liked them so I am posting them here.

Ralph Marston
Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.

Lee Iacocca
You’ve got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it. It’s called perseverance.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.  ~Author Unknown

-Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip.
Arnold H. Glasgow

Don’t dig your grave with your own knife and fork.  ~English Proverb

Carl Sandburg: Weight Loss Quotes
The time for action is now. It’s never too late to do something.

yesterday i was soooo gloomy. I ate everthing i could find, and then at dinner time, I wasn’t hungry for dinner. I felt soo depressed, and the more I ate (thinking It would make me feel better)the worse I felt. Then I finally got dressed and took DS to the library. He really liked it there. And I found me some really nice books to read. I also checked him out a few. Today was better. I woke early and took DD to school, came home cleaned and played with my DS and finally  sat down at the computer.

I feel so lonely now-a-days. My husband travels a lot with his job, and I am only at home with children more. I used to work about 32 hours a week but now It has to be 24 or maybe 28 so I can be around to help with homework, and not have to depend on someone else to pick up the kids.

I am going to find some other things to occupy my time. In january I will start up school again, so that should help.

Today I remain positive. Today I have only eaten what I need. Although I am bored now, I figure if I can force myself to stay positive I will figure out what to do to stay busy.

I am so not used to staying at home, no money to spend, not able to shop, or buy anything, and I have been really good about only cooking and not ordering out for food. I know my hubby is proud of me. He is so awesome. I know I complained alot on this blog but I really appreciate all he is doing so I can finish school and he works hard to pay the bills. 

I am going to step away now, it’s time to pick up DD from school.  I work tomorrow, but I will try to get a blog in after work. bye

okay yesterday i looked up the wendy plan, for weight watchers. There is a lot of info on it. I am going to try it. so far so good, and I set my new goal weight as 200.0lbs by superbowl sunday, that is 4 months away. I am hoping sticking to weight watchers will be the key to my profound breakthrough, today my weight is 216.6 and I will weigh in on Tuesdays. We’ll I will check back later.

Well today is better than this weekend. I am trying hard today. Unfortunately I have to have a dr. pepper for breakfast to get going. ( I will figure this always into my points allowance for the day.) I have a walk planned for tonight with the children. They will ride their bikes while I walk.  Of course That usually means jog to keep up with them.

Todays menu has been carefully calculated.

Daily points allowance                                          26 points                             

Health guidelines                                                 no water yet, no fresh veggies, vitamin done, activity still                                                                              pending 

tortilla,sausage,egg and dr. pepper                       12 points

Lunch:

Chimichanga (frozen/baked)                                  10points

salad                                                                       1 point

1/2 of root beer 4oz.                                               1 point

total for now                                                         24 points

Activity for one hour

Well I will edit this as the day goes by, but for now me and the kids have to go the grocery store (again) and grab some healthy snacks for school lunch this week. I have to say I still have the same motivational thoughts I had when I started last thursday.

Also one more thing I should mention. I have not seen my monthly curse in 2 months. I am not worried about being pregnant because we are usually very careful, but I am very worried about other things. Especially since I have been having a lot of cramps like I am on my period but not any thing else. Next month is my yearly visit to doctor, and I hope to figure out what the heck is going on.

Hoping to keep this site updated. bye for now.

well i knew it. that day would come. The day when I would rather sit on the couch watching tv, rather than taking my 3 yr old outside. He asked me a million times yesterday. And what did I do? I said no and came up with all kinds of excuses not to. So after about the tenth time of asking he finally gave up and hung his shoulders low and frowned. I know! slapp this lazy bitch around for not being a good mommy.

I know my lazyness has spread here too. My 7 yr old girl does not like to play outside long, she would rather watch tv.   So from now on, no tv until we have had at least one hour outside. After homework of course.

I guess I could have went outside. I really hate it that I did not go. I am hoping to change. It started today. I went outside with my son for one hour. I journaled my food, and even went to the gym.

I can see now that in order to keep up with my son, and teach my daughter positive body image, That I am going to have to participate in life and quit being such a couch potato.

Everytime I look at pictures of before and after I cringe. I know that I am an anxiety eater. When I am anxious or bored I eat.

Wish me luck.