Less of Josephine.

In my continuing saga to show people what cooking-impaired vegans like me eat, here is one of my favorite frozen meals. I have cut way back on frozen meals, mostly in an effort to cut out sodium, but this one stays in my rotation. Tandoor Chef’s (a sub-brand of Green Guru) Kofta Curry is a lovely dish of vegetable “dumplings” in a spicy curry sauce. The whole box is 200 all-natural calories — no artificial colors or preservatives (but 800mg sodium!). The ingredients are: Onions (how can you not LOVE a dish where the first ingredient is onions?!), tomatoes, canola oil, spices, garlic, squash, sea salt, tumeric, chickpea flour, wheat flour, wheat farina, milled cane sugar, fenugreek leaves, oleoresin (?) of paprika, green peppers, baking soda, and bay leaves.

There is plenty of extra sauce around the dumplings, so I usually have it with a half of a baked potato (as in the photo) or half a sweet potato (plays off the hot curry nicely!), or brown rice. I also like a bit of sliced onions in vinegar on the side.

Heat warning: I think of this dish as “nicely spicy”, but then, I regularly eat habanero peppers. Other family members have described it alternately as “hot as hell” and “OH MY GOD it’s BUUUUURRRRNING arrgrggrhhhhhh!”. So consider yourself warned.

This was my first use of nutritional yeast, which many vegans use as a “cheese-like substitute”. This brand is fortified with B12 and is how I make sure I get that into my diet since I rarely drink fortified soy milk. Nutritional yeast has a similar consistency to parmesan cheese, and gets sort of melty and sticky the way parm does when you sprinkle it on top of hot food. It is less salty and has a much more nutty and earthy flavor, however. I’ve read that you either love it or hate it. My first try I liked it, by my third try I loved it. It mixes well with garlic and pepper flavors, which is what I did with this bowl of pasta with roasted broccoli, asparagus tips, and a dab of Smart Balance.

Click on the thumbnails for a closer view of textures.

FlatOut multigrain wrap (of course!) baked until crisp with black beans mashed with chipotle peppers and adobo sauce and topped with shredded romaine lettuce, Vidalia onions, yellow squash, habanero sauce and a jalapeño pepper slice. This was DELICIOUS and next time I make it I need to pile MORE good stuff on top such as: corn, green & red peppers, shredded carrots, etc. These wraps really hold up to putting tons of stuff on them!

Veganomicon-inspired sweet potato and bean quesadilla with hot sauce. I used select bits of the bean salad I already had (namely I tried to scoop mostly the red kidney beans, white kidney beans, onions, and green peppers). Salsa and shredded romaine on the side. This went down like greased-lightning, nom nom nom.

My mom always made this dish at family BBQs but I was always too busy stuffing my face with potato chips and dip to ever really notice and appreciate this cold bean salad. It just always looked too healthy and too vegetabley for me to waste my time on. Ha ha ha! Oh, the times they are a-changing! I got the recipe from her last night and whipped it up and even though you’re supposed to wait “overnight” (24 hours) to enjoy, I dove right into the bowl for dinner. If you love beans, this is The Yum. I can see lots of ways to change it up for the future, too — namely different veggies and different dressing. But for as simple as the basic recipe is, it’s very, very tasty and refreshing. I made some small modifications to Mom’s original recipe (to cut back on calories) and I’ve noted those changes with asterisks.

Overnight Bean Salad

1 package frozen green peas (run ‘em under water to thaw a bit)
1 can green beans (regular cut, not French cut, drained)
1 can red kidney bean (drained and rinsed)
1 can cannellini beans (drained and rinsed)
1 can white whole kernel corn (drained)
1 cup diced celery
1 medium to large onion, diced (I went with large, I love onion)
1/2 cup diced green peppers
3/4 cup white vinegar
2 tbs “salad oil” [*I used just 1 tbs EVOO]
1/2 cup sugar [*I used just two packets of Stevia for zero calories]
2 tsp water [*I didn't add any extra water, it didn't seem needed]
1 1/2 tsp salt [*I used just 1 tsp salt]
1/2 tsp paprika

In a large bowl, combine all vegetables.

In a small, separate bowl combine the vinegar, oil, stevia (or sugar or whatever you’re using), salt, and paprika and combine thoroughly. Pour over veggies and toss. Cover and refrigerate at least 24 hours, stirring occasionally. I can tell you it didn’t take 24 hours for this to taste like bean bliss. And so simple.

I know that vegan food porn is usually made up of dishes that people actually, well, COOK. You know, they MADE them. Often the dishes required actual mixing of more than one ingredient followed by piping stuff through pastry bags. At a minimum it usually involves the oven or a pot. My food porn, on the other hand, is for the lazy vegan who just wants a damn sandwich and wants it now.

This drool-inducing meal is now a staple for me; I love it. It meets ALL my requirements: fast, great-tasting, and fast. The Yves Deli “Salami” is delicious. I can’t remember what real salami tastes like, so I couldn’t tell you if this approximates it or not. Nevertheless, it is very tasty with nice strong spice and good texture. I top this wonderful faux meat with exactly 30g of Mancini’s Fried Peppers, which are worth every one of their canola oil-soaked 25 calories. They are sweet-ish/hot-ish peppers that have been fried. What more need I say? They add a note of true decadence to a regular old sandwich and elevate the meal from a simple lunch to an orgasmic gourmet experience. I might be exaggerating a little, but not by much.

[Thanks everybody for the super nice comments on my legs! Ya'll were so sweet that they are blushing!]

This stuff is absolutely heaven. Put it on EVERYTHING. Boca patties. Baked potatoes. Grilled veggies. Heck, go crazy and just sip it from the bottle — I can tell you with some authority that you won’t be the first to do so.

It is 100% natural, no preservatives, no additives, no artificial colors, no MSG, and the ingredients are: Fresh red chilies, fresh onion, xanthan gum, raw cane sugar, sea salt, and vinegar.

The label says: Indonesian cuisine is a fusion of Thai and Indian. It is healthy, spicy and quick to prepare. BALI SPICE products are made in a woman-owned Indonesian factory where Christians, Muslims, and Buddhists work together. 5% of profits go to groups fostering religious and ethnic tolerance.

How cool is that? You can have a party in your mouth AND promote girl-power and world peace at the same time. That’s multitasking at its finest!

One of my new favorite easy meals is cheeseless pizza. Since making my own crust would take entirely too long for my tastes, I tried using Light FlatOut Wraps in the Sundried Tomato flavor. On top of this culinary masterpiece I added some some Smart Deli “Pepperoni”, along with roasted onions and peppers, tomato sauce with a dash of BBQ sauce mixed in, and lots of pineapple. Yes that’s right, pineapple. I’m on of those strange people who mix fruit in with “regular” food. My husband claims this is pizza sacrilege, but not being a religious sort I’m unimpressed with that argument. Until he can prove I’m doing irreparable harm to the universe, I will continue in my evil fruit-loving ways.

The verdict: The FlatOut Sundried Tomato wrap is a great size and shape and has 90 calories with 9 grams of protein and 9 grams of fiber. The wrap crisped up easily and perfectly for a quick pizza, and I could have piled on lots more toppings without fear of the crust buckling under the pressure. I’ve always been a big fan of a thin, crisp crust and this wrap emulated that really, really well. However, the wrap had a certain wangy flavor that bordered on unpleasant. I don’t know if that flavor was due to it being a “light” wrap or if it was what the manufacturers consider a “sundried tomato flavor” (they’d be WRONG), but either way I could do without it, thank you. Next time I’ll try the Multi-Grain, non-light version of the wrap, which is 100 calories with 9 grams of protein and 8 grams of fiber. Yes, I’ll gladly pay 10 calories to skip the wang.

The Lightlife Smart Deli “Pepperoni” was tasty and added a semi-spicy note overall. Not spicy enough for me, however, so I coated the whole pizza with red pepper flakes to amp it up. The fakeroni didn’t crisp up like fatty, real pepperoni would, but I still enjoyed the flavor it added to whole pizza. One serving is 13 pepperonis (30 grams) and has 50 calories and 9 grams of protein. I cut the traditional round pieces into smaller chunks to more evenly distribute it over the pizza and there was plenty to go around.

I’ll have this meal often because I love pizza and it was fast, easy, crispy, and decadent feeling. If I can find a flavor without that odd wang, I’ll be a long-time customer of FlatOut breads. I also enjoyed the Lightlife pepperoni, but I’ve heard that Yves has a really good version too, so I may try that one before I settle into Lightlife patronage.