Less of Josephine.

Once I stopped spending so much of my time and emotional energy on the ritual of finding and eating massive quantities of food (always while planning for the NEXT binge of course), I started developing new and different rituals that were actually helpful to leading a happy and healthy life. I really believe it is these rituals and habits that get me through the rough spots we all experience. Some of the most helpful rituals I’ve carefully nursed into habits that are now second nature are:

Journaling — I have a private journal were I write down EVERYTHING I’m thinking and feeling, particularly in the ugly, tough, self-hating moments that sometimes come upon us so suddenly. Sometimes the entries are very stream-of-consciousness in their content and sometimes they are more well-articulated. But they always help. I have trained myself to STOP what I am doing and write my thoughts and emotions down whenever I have the urge to binge or when I feel like stress is overwhelming me. I really believe this habit is the single most powerful tool in my arsenal for arresting my binge-eating behavior. I can no longer just shut my brain off and begin stuffing food in my face. Instead I consciously confront my desires to binge head-on — and write down their consequences as well. This practice has enabled me to be binge-free for a 1/3 of a year now — an unheard of length of time in my world. I don’t think I’ll ever stop doing this, it is too powerful a tool to ever give up.

Plan, plan, plan — I’ve become a planning zealot. I really believe that planning for success increases your chances for success by more than 50%. Heck, maybe 90%! For instance, on the nights before my morning runs, I lay out all my running gear and prep everything right down to loosening my shoelaces and putting a sock into each shoe. The mornings I run go like this: I stumble out of bed and into the bathroom, pee, slip off my nightie and step on the scale. Step off the scale and right there on the counter in front of me is all my running gear along with a Clif bar and a glass for water. No need to go looking for my favorite running bra, or a hat, or my mp3 player. No real decision to make, I’m going running. Everything I need is right there, pre-planned, pre-organized, pre-charged up, all ready to go. Within 1 minute I’m dressed and on my way out the door. This planning has saved me more times than I can count, because it seems like a part of my subconscious is always waiting to sabotage my best intentions. Cutting it off at the pass with good planning and prep is the way to defeat it.

Positive self-talk — Yes, I unabashedly embrace the Stuart Smalley inside me: I‘m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me. What this is really about is replacing a lot of my negative inner monologue with more compassionate, motivating, and positive self-talk. I have been so HARD on myself. I say things to myself that I would never even think much less SAY to a good friend: I’m ugly, I’m weak, I’m pathetic, I’m disgusting, I’m so fat nobody will like me, I’m an embarrassment to my family and husband….. and on and on it goes. None of that crap is helpful in any way. It just leads to wallowing in self pity, serious depression, and binge-eating. What an awful circle, right? But you have to work hard at changing it because for some reason it is SO much easier to think awful things than to think nice things. But after a lot of effort I’m now more likely to think things like: I’m equal to the challenge, I’m not a quitter, I’m strong, I have an iron will, I’m a good person, I deserve good things, etc. The more I consciously tell myself these things, the more my subconsciousness slowly embraces them as reality and the easier it is to face the tough things that life throws at us.