17 Nov, 2008
odd and superficial but impacting (is that a word?) ah-ha (ish) moment
Posted by: travelgal In: General
so, i havent been entirely on track today, but not super terrible either.
and i was on facebook just browsing around, and i saw a random wall post on an acquiantances wall from her sister, and it was about some random conversation they were having and they were talking about the gap, banana republic and old navy and the girl wrote: ” (when i think of old navy, i think of heavier people. i’m not trying to be mean, just real).” that really stuck out to me, because id say 50-70% of my clothes and ALL of my pants are from Old navy. the rest randomly from h&m, forever21, target, nordstroms, urban outfitters gap, etc. And I was like, WELL SHIT!, people (at least my age) view old navy as fat people clothing, because hell you could definitely get cheaper and cute clothes and forever21 which just was smaller sizes. it’s really hard for me to i guess, verbalize my feelings/thoughts on this, but it really seemed like an ah-ha moment to me, because I feel like if I could get into size 10s and 12s i could just shop at forever21, H&M etc, and not have to go to old navy for their larger, bigger cut sizes. becuase i could get clothes that are just as cheap, if not cheaper at other places besides old navy, if i could fit into them. so, i think that seeing one of my “peers’” perceptions as old navy being clothes for heavy people, really struck home, because i know if I continue to lose weight, that wont be my only real go to place to shop, especially for pants. i want to shop where all of my peers and friends shop, like at forever 21, where they have cute, cheap jeans.
so, in a weird way, my ah-ha moment was quite superficial. it’s about clothing and how other people perceive me. but it literally stopped me in my tracks when i saw the words “old navy” and “heavier people”. i dont want to be part of that association, at all.
so i may be the girl who cried wolf, but i think this may in fact be the start of a truly new on track cycle, with an actual impetus and ah-ha moment. i guess only time will tell, but in all honestly, it’s impossible to ignore other people’s perceptions of you. or at least it is for me. i definitely care what other people think of me.
so, lets see if tomorrow, I can follow all of the rules that I put forward for mysef in yesterdays blog, if i can get to 187 by friday, and if i can get into size 12 jeans ASAP.
see y’all tomorrow, i WILL be writing and I will be on track.
