Going to Lose: A Student’s Weightloss Journey!

so..every week I write a blog on empty promises, and possible ah-ha moments, and new found motivation, and every week as the week gets harder, i get less sleep, busier with my 3 jobs, and all my homework and projects, my plan usually goes out the window…so, im getting tired of that. and blah

but im also really concerned that my weight has no creeped up to 190 which is frightening.

i also really have a chance this week to catch up, cover some exercise/eating on track ground.

i have a whole week off of school for thanksgiving and I’m back home now.

So i’m going to try for a plan this week, just to see if it can get me back on a good schedule for just this week. I’m taking this one week at a time.

1) 45 min of treadmill and 30 minutes of weights/abs per day Sunday-Saturday with maybe 1 day of rest max.  Try to follow the jogging goals on my workout page.

2) dont worry about “calories” but make good food choices, and record/log all of the food I eat, bad or good, so that I can be aware of it.

that’s all. if i make too many goals, I dont make them. that’s all i’m focusing on this week. doing consistent good workouts and watching what i eat and blogging it.  and of course getting good sleep!

let’s see what happens! back tomorrow!

so happy for a week off!!!

i decided to try this, joy does it, and even though i only will do one official weigh in per week, this may hold me more accountable throughout the week and everyday:

yw: ?

tw: 189.8–>wow, so close, it could have been 190 which would have been terrifiying…time to seriously shape up..

short term goal: 187

long term goal: 127

food:

bfast: nf lattes (130?) and a tangerine (60)-190

Lunch: Some ravioli (200) and 1/2 a sandwhich (250?)-450..to be safe

yoga and cardio to come later! i might even do two seperate gym trips today! HOW CRAZY!

lunch: some miso soup (45?), tiny bit of sweet and sour pork (200) and some steamed rice (150)-395

snack: some apple rings (55) and some turkey jerkey (60)-115

dinner: some spinach salad (120), some whole wheat spaghetti and meatballs (350)-470

snack after gym: tangerine (60) and a few tortilla chips (100)-160

total: 1140-done

workout: 46 min treadmil, successfully completed 2nd day of 4.5 mph for 8 songs. it gets tough but my playlist is great that when it gets hard a good song comes on.  also 10 minutes of abs.  once again, i hate to cry wolf, but i cant imagine, that if i wasnt back on track, i would have gone to the gym at 10 at night so i could get my cardio in. it was a hard jog but it felt good. here’s to hopping im back on track…!!!

so, i havent been entirely on track today, but not super terrible either.

and i was on facebook just browsing around, and i saw a random wall post on an acquiantances wall from her sister, and it was about some random conversation they were having and they were talking about the gap, banana republic and old navy and the girl wrote: ” (when i think of old navy, i think of heavier people. i’m not trying to be mean, just real).”  that really stuck out to me, because id say 50-70% of my clothes and ALL of my pants are from Old navy. the rest randomly from h&m, forever21, target, nordstroms, urban outfitters gap, etc.  And I was like, WELL SHIT!, people (at least my age) view old navy as fat people clothing, because hell you could definitely get cheaper and cute clothes and forever21 which just was smaller sizes.  it’s really hard for me to i guess, verbalize my feelings/thoughts on this, but it really seemed like an ah-ha moment to me, because I feel like if I could get into size 10s and 12s i could just shop at forever21, H&M etc, and not have to go to old navy for their larger, bigger cut sizes.  becuase i could get clothes that are just as cheap, if not cheaper at other places besides old navy, if i could fit into them.  so, i think that seeing one of my “peers’” perceptions as old navy being clothes for heavy people, really struck home, because i know if I continue to lose weight, that wont be my only real go to place to shop, especially for pants.  i want to shop where all of my peers and friends shop, like at forever 21, where they have cute, cheap jeans.

so, in a weird way, my ah-ha moment was quite superficial. it’s about clothing and how other people perceive me. but it literally stopped me in my tracks when i saw the words “old navy” and “heavier people”. i dont want to be part of that association, at all.

so i may be the girl who cried wolf, but i think this may in fact be the start of a truly new on track cycle, with an actual impetus and ah-ha moment. i guess only time will tell, but in all honestly, it’s impossible to ignore other people’s perceptions of you. or at least it is for me. i definitely care what other people think of me.

so, lets see if tomorrow, I can follow all of the rules that I put forward for mysef in yesterdays blog, if i can get to 187 by friday, and if i can get into size 12 jeans ASAP.

see y’all tomorrow, i WILL be writing and I will be on track.

brunch: scrambled egg whites (120), some coffee cake and some potatoes. tiny bit of coffee and milk.

thats it. otherwise ive been napping, haha

i at least need to attempt at being proactive about this whole thing…

what i plan/hope to eat tomorrow:

brunch: (at a restaurant, off the healthy menu: Yogurt Sundae: Fruit low fat yogurt, fresh fruit, granola, raisins & walnuts.

Snack: iced nf g sk vanilla latte (100)

dinner: lf chinese chicken salad from trader joes (380-400)

Snack: apple (70)

if i can stick to that, i’ll be ok.

Goals for this week:

1) go to the gym monday-thursday and one day fri-sat, follow workout plan on workout page

2) make a food plan every night for the following day and stick to it

3) exhibit self control

4) weigh in every morning as a scary ass reality check, and do an official weigh in on friday

5) pretend to care

6) be 187 or less on friday, ideally 185

7) stop eating tortilla chips with melted cheese and chocolate

dont go for seconds

9) dont get dessert

10) make some kind of real effort…

whoa, thats a lot of goals…i hope i can do this. i miss losing weight and being motivated…le sigh

im not quite sure what to do. every week if not twice a week, I write a hopeless post about how I’m off track and unmotivated. I have a couple of good food days and exercise days, but nothing’s really there to keep me in the game… I have 4 pairs of size 12 pants I bought 2 months ago, like $60 worth of stuff, and that’s not even motivating me to be on track. i need another magical ah-ha moment, but I just dont know when it will come.  I read all your blogs, especially like tiny2b who has made such an incredible transformation and become a runner, but I just can seem to do it.. I wish I had the willpower, motivation, stamina, self control, but I just dont and that kills me. and im bummed about it. but I just dont know what to do or how to do it. I really dont want to go to weight watchers, but I dont know what to do to get myself back where I should be, where I was last year and this summer, when i was doing so well. i’m so sad at that myself that I have given up so readily and so willing to go back to my old, bad ways. i hope i dont gain back all the weight i lost. what a waste that would be…

lunch: some salad (120) and some squash ravioli (200)-320 and two bite sized snickers (120)-440 total

i planned out my meals today last night, and also changed my gym to the evening so that I can go with a friend and be more motivated! woohoo!

lunch: salad (140), a few potatoes (70), and some soup (130)-340

dinner: cesar salad and some pasta, small bit of strawberry cake

snack: night cap baileys and milk, and some pretzels and turkey with a tad o’ brie

it’s late, and I’m tired, but life is going well! i had a fabulous workout tonight! 45 minute treadmill with jogging for 31:30 minutes straight! im so excited.  look out tomorrow for a new workout goals page, because i had a whole epiphany tonight about how to increase my jogging speed and endurance. also did about 50 minutes weight and abs. i have a lot to post about exercise, and my new schedule etc, but it’s late. so im gonna post it tomorrow!

night yall!

my self did not like the threat of weight watchers. but something had to be done!

so, i bought two super cute pocket sized moleskine journals on amazon which should be delivered in 2 days.  ill pick whichever is cuter/feels “right” to use first and I will carry it with me everywhere. i will write down EVERYTHING i eat in it, no matter where I am. at the beginning, i may even bring it with me to the kitchen, as a reminder that i have to write down Everything I eat, and I may even start a “why are you eating this?” section, asking myself if I’m hungry etc etc, why im looking for food, etc.  this is serious and accountability is a huge issue. as much as i really love love having a blog, it’s easy to ignore when that’s what i need. hopefully a notebook and more tangible accountabilit tool will work and help get me back on track.

very excited. of course at 2/3 am i always have brilliant ideas on how to get myself back on track, it’s during the day and night when im working that everything is a problem.

well, anything’s worth a shot.