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Peepshow 

I went and weighed in on Wednesday and was UP half a pound.  Well, that isn’t good so this week I have to lose that 1/2 pound and a bit more to go with it. 

I paid for 6 months of yoga - through September.  It will be interesting to see what I look like in September.  I realize this is a journey I am taking and it is going to take some time to get to a point where I am happy where I am and where I have been.  It is hard to realize that I let myself go and didn’t care enough to love me.  I am learning a lot every day.  I am not crash dieting but making some positive changes in my life.   I am eating a buttload of veggies.  I actually craved pineapple yesterday and kick myself that I did not buy the big fruit bowl at Costco.  I did get my pineapple fix - canned and not as good as fresh.   I think my skin is looking better too because of the lack of refined carbs.  Or maybe it’s because I started taking care of it again and not going to bed with my make up on.   I do eat bread and pasta but not as often as I used to.  I will never give up my baked potato though.    I recently started drinking iced green tea sweetened with Splenda.  It is pretty good stuff.  I used to only buy it at Starbucks but why give them my hard earned cash when I can make this at home and drink it more often.  I don’t really care for Starbucks and don’t want to support them. 

My soul feels discombobulated  - I am bugged.  I am annoyed.  I feel like a hand me down sometimes.  It has to do with being adopted into the most selfish fucked up family in the world and then finding the most selfish birthmom  in the world.  I will explain someday but not all people adopt a child because they love them and they are awesome people.  Nope, sometime people adopt children because they are selfish and want to adopt a baby to fill a hole they have or to save a marriage;  but they don’t want the baby to grow up.  When it does, they don’t want it anymore.  I call it the puppy syndrome.  Everyone wants a puppy - not everyone wants a dog.  This is getting too long. Sorry.  Another blog.  I have one I have been saving called birthmother.  I started it about three months ago.  Good night sweet chicks.  I love you all.  We are wonderful people.  We’re just a little fluffy.