I haven’t been on, my BF has been home. Love him but sometimes he is around too much. When there are things to do, like remodel the house, I don’t have time to sit around and watch tv! GROWL! It is such a waste of time! Hi sister is coming in less than two weeks to visit from Boston and there are lots of things to get done. So far, it’s been up to me to do it. He owns over 2000 movies and buys at least 2 new ones a week. He TIVOs hours of worthless programing - how many episodes of the Deadliest Catch can one person watch? There is too much to do and spending two to three hours a day is not getting it done. (slowly climbing off of soap box)
I am 100% convinced that people are jealous when they hear you are trying to lose weight. I made a very casual comment about not wanting tacos as 1 a.m. and he, the BF, replied, “Oh, we’re not dieting AGAIN, are we?” I ignored the remark and said no, I don’t want to eat something that is going to give me a stomach ache. I can tell, though, that I cannot tell him what I am doing. It is really hard when he is home because every meal is a fatfest and dripping with calories. I have to work really hard the 4 days he is not home because the 3 he is makes it very rough. But I will stick to it. It’s just hard. I haven’t lost any weight this week. But I am trying not to be too rough. I had my Boca Burger with lots of veggies tonight. At Taco Bell, I ordered a taco without the cheese and had a pintos and cheese instead of the bean burrito. I had an unplanned meal day because of work.
I am super tired. I want to be thin. I hate being fat. I hate looking at myself and wondering where this ugly woman came from. My face is huge. I don’t like looking at me. I avoid mirrors and reflections. Time for bed.
Sweet dreams my friends.
I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends
round
July 19th, 2007 at 5:01 am
I have often wondered what is it about hearing I am watching what I eat that brings out strange reactions in others. I don’t think it’s a deliberate attempt to sabotage, but maybe they feel there is a priority in competition w them. Or maybe they get nervous about what might happen in the future when you’ve lost weight - will you still want them, etc. Or that they know they should pay attention to what they eat too, but since they don’t want to, they don’t want you too either…. Not easy, that’s for sure.
Try to be kind with yourself - hating yourself & thinking you are ugly are hard places to live…
islandgrl
July 21st, 2007 at 4:56 am
I agree about the sabotage. My DH does the same. I don’t think he means to, but I think he is jealous, he knows he has to lose weight as well.
And the TV, OMG, don’t get me started on that. He would live in front of the damn TV day in and day out and not move at all. He is a lump!
Penny
July 21st, 2007 at 11:03 pm
You know how strong you are for hanging in there so well, right? I sure can relate to the mirror thing and more from your post. Sometimes it can be tough. Keep writing about it - to me, blogging sure seems like great therapy.