I look at woman my age or a little older who are fat and have “settled” into being their size and it scares me.  Have they given up because it’s impossible to lose?  They talk about how well they eat or how little they eat yet, they are not slim by any stretch of the imagination.  I miss being in my teens and twenties when all I had to do was think about losing weight and I did.  But at that time I was 130 and wanted to be 120-125 because I was too fat!  Oh, to be that fat again! 

 I messed up and reamed my exhusband for something he did not do.  BIG TIME reamed him.  It was an honest mistake on my part but I feel bad.  I can’t apoligize as we don’t talk at all and I emailed him at his wife’s shop and he wouldn’t care if I apoligized as I don’t matter.  He doesn’t even count me as one of his three marriages…  No, I wasn’t raised Catholic but I can do guilt when I am wrong with the best of them. 

I am tired, exhausted really.  Didn’t do bad eating today.  I am trying to make food a non important part of my life.  So far, okay. 

 Good night