So lately I have been feeling bone tired. I have even been going home and taking naps, which is really unusual for me. Last week TOM came… kind of… I had two days of spotting and then it went away. I wasn’t too surprised as I quit taking the BC pill I was on because it was really screwing with my TOM. I was spotting for two weeks at a stretch. But today I was emotional, tired, and had an allergy attack. Well… six years ago I had allergies and I was pregnant. I rarely get allergies. I kept expecting TOM to catch up with me and it never did. So I pulled out a dollar store prego test that I had bought for a friend three years ago and took the test. POSITVE! OMG! Well considering I paid a dollar for the test, I decided I needed a second opinion. In a state of shock and denial I headed off to the local pharmacy. As I stood there looking at the tests, I refused to pay $14.95 for one test so I left.
I toyed with telling dh… but I really didn’t want to alarm him. I mean how accurate can an old dollar store prego test be? We are not actively trying to have more children. But considering I TOLD him I was off my pills and he never took any precautions, I figure he can’t be too upset. We have gone back and forth on whether or not it is fair to only have one child. We both feel and immense sense of guilt, as ds has wanted a bro or sis for the last four years. But I am not prepared for this. After dinner, I freaked out. I had to KNOW. So I made up an excuse and ran to Target. I still could not bring myself to pay $14 for a single test, even if it has a stupid digital read out. So I grabbed a generic two pack, paid for my wares, and headed off to the ladies room. YEP… I confirmed it in a bathroom stall at Target! The little pink lines all lit up fuschia.
So here I sit at 11 at night trying to get a grasp on this news. I know all will work out for the best. I have a great dh and great son and my family will be thrilled. (Although not to be around me, as I am not a very good pregnant woman!) Last time I was pregnant, I used it as an excuse to gorge myself. I gained nearly 70lbs… most of which is still with me today. I am terrified! This may be the slippery slope that pushes me into the 200’s for life! I am also really busy right now getting my life and fitness on track. How will a pregnancy affect that? I love riding the horses. I know that I will be able to do that for the next three to four months if I don’t get too big, but after that it is something that I will really miss.
On the other hand, ds will be thrilled. For all intense purposes I was an only child, my sis was 14 years older and married and gone at the age of 18. I was so envious of my friends who had a house full of siblings. Dh is one of six, so his experience is different. I think he has feelings of resentment towards not getting enough attention, but he really cherishes his relationships with his family now. All of the cousins in the family are considerably older than Ds… 17 to 14.. so he doesn’t even have an extended family to fall back on. (Except for his step-cousins)
I looked up pregnancy for fat people on the web… I should gain between 15 and 25 pounds. That will keep me right at or below 200. I know it seems callous or selfish to obsess about this when I am bringing a new life into the world. But I want to be able to be active and energetic when it arrives, not fat and depressed. I think I am delusional! I better get some sleep. Tomorrow I need to tell dh… oh I hope he doesn’t have a heart attack! :-P Thanks for listening to me rant.
Posted on June 25th, 2008 by tkt117
Filed under: General
WOW! Congratulations
If you’re really concerned about the weight gain you can be put on a “eating regime” (so we don’t call it a diet…) so that you don’t gain any unnecessary weight during the pregnancy. It’s totally possibile. It’s also possible to keep up a good fitness routine. Walking, swimming, yoga, are all really good activities to do while pregnant.
OM goodness!!!
I am soooooo happy for you. What a blessing! You can do this! You can do this healthy. You have to keep posting on here even if you are not dieting to let us know how you are doing. I am so happy for you!
Joy
You’re right—what a shock to have. Hard to wrap your mind around. But you will.
I was an only; my dh was 1 of 4…..and he was the one who said no more kids. My daughter has always wanted a sib but since she always asked for an older brother I was off the hook there.
On the weight: I only gained 13 lbs. so it can be done, A. was 7lb. 5oz.. I had gestational diabetes so I was testing my blood sugars 4X’s a day and constantly monitoring what and how much I ate. At the time I was soooo mad about the diabetes and not being able to eat what I wanted but now I realize it saved me a LOT of weight.
Thanks Ladies! I will definately keep you posted. Still haven’t told dh… as I had a crummy day at work and I want to be upbeat and positive when I shock the heck out of him!