Yesterday was our official weigh in for the fat bet at work, I was up a pound. I still have not told anyone that I am pregnant. So far I don’t think they suspect, this is the first time in three weeks that I have gained. But my boobs are twice as big as normal and my stomach is already sticking out, so despite only a one pound gain I look a lot bigger. 
Tonight is my ultra sound. I had a dream last night that I went to my normal doc and he said, “everything looks good, you definitely won’t need an ultrasound.” Then it took a turn for the wierd… but that is really not important. But then I woke up and realized that it was a dream. So my appt is at 3:15. After ten days of stressing and worrying if I was going to miscarry, I am feeling more and more confident. My morning sickness is running it’s course and in some ways getting worse all indicators to ME that my hormone levels are rising. I know I could be getting sick if I miscarried and didn’t expel, but I have felt perfectly normal in every other way. So I am being optimistic that this will have a good outcome. They are basically going to be checking my dates and checking for a strong heart beat. Fingers crossed.
I didn’t ride last night. My work partner stayed with us, but I did swing by to tell them I would be riding and surprise… they had a new baby on the ground. She is tall (all legs) with four high white socks and a huge blaze on her face. She is adorable. Mom was keeping her in line and away from all of the other horses. It is so fun to watch how they socialize their young.
Well ladies, I will post later tonight after I get the “word.” Have a great day!
Posted on July 10th, 2008 by tkt117
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My morning sickness this time is different. Rather than being repulsed by the smell of certain foods, I wake up feeling hung over. (without the headache.) Shaky flittery stomach and feeling generally bad. Then it gets better until around 10. From 10 to 2 I feel like I could toss my cookies at any moment. After 2… I am normal. But I have grown out of all of my bras I am really bloated with gas, as I have not really gained any weight by my stomach is sticking way out. I don’t think I will be keeping this a secret to much longer. I just want to have the ultrasound, make sure everything is okay, and then I will let everyone know.
Last night we went to the barn. DS rode first, he had a great ride in the arena then I took him out to ride on the road. There is a big hill that really gives me and the pony a good workout. Then we went back to the arena and I grabbed my filly (baby horse) to work with her while he rode around.
DS grabbed a rope off the wall and was dragging it to me and it spooked his pony. She TOOK OFF running. He panicked and started to yell and she got more scared. He finally fell off and it was a hard fall. I have the baby, I go running over there, trying to keep the baby from stepping on my other baby. Finally the guy who owns the place came running over to take the filly, then she got upset because she wanted to be with us. It was horrible. Turns out ds is ok, but he has a lot of scrapes on his back. So far no bruising, aside from his ego.
I need to work with his pony and get her used to scary things so she won’t do that again. She was really upset when it was all over and she kept trying to nuzzle ds, but he wanted nothing to do with her. It was almost comical. She was looking at him, “what’s wrong?”
So I didn’t ride. We came home and inspected ds to make sure he really was ok. Luckily he wore his helmet, otherwise his head would have hit the wall.
Well ladies have a great hump day!
Posted on July 10th, 2008 by tkt117
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We just got back from the barn. It was our first time in over a week to see the horses. DS rode first, he had a nice ride in the arena then I took him out to walk some trails. When we came back to the arena, the filly (baby horse) was looking at us over the fence. So I went to go get her so I could do some work with her while DS rode. Well, DS grabbed a lunge line from the fence and when it was dragging behind him his pony spooked and lost it. She started trotting off, then he lost it and started to panic, then she BOLTED. He held on for a good 1/2 lap then he fell. It was a hard fall, and he is pretty banged up. He is still really upset. I am kicking myself for letting him grab the rope and be distracted by the filly. Although she was really good. He was crying and screaming, and I was kneeling down beside him and she stood her ground and didn’t pull back or step on us. Afterward, Mike took the filly and then she got upset. She knew DS was still upset and she wanted to be back with us. However DS pony thought she was going to get in trouble so she wouldn’t let us catch her.
I feel like a horrible parent this is the third time that he has fallen off. But that is how you learn, I hope he will get back on again. I will need to work with her a bit more and expose her to spooky things so she will not bolt. Bolting is not good!
While I didn’t ride, I did get a good work out in walking him around and hiking up and down the hills. Dinner was grilled chicken and salad, so at least I ate something light. I am going to go do some research to try and figure out how to break her of these bad habits. Have a great night!
Posted on July 8th, 2008 by tkt117
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Good Morning!
So I am slowly dragging my butt around this morning. I really miss coffee! In fact I miss iced tea, the occassional diet coke, etc… I am really struggling finding something to drink, other than water,that doesn’t have caffeine or a ton of sugar. Last time I drank my folic acid, meaning I drank gallons of orange juice. NOT this time. I also don’t know if I should be avoiding artificial sweetners. Whoever said the second time around is less neurotic or stressful… was wrong! 
I went out and rode last night. The horse was an absolute BUTT! So no grass time for her once we were done. Tonight I get to go out and see my own horse. I haven’t been out there in a week, and I am going through withdrawals! DH got a lot done on the boat last night. We got one panel of the back recovered, he fiberglassed the floor of the boat to make sure it won’t fail in the future, and he is going to start doing the carpet tonight. Unfortunately, I can’t help him with any of that. The fumes really get to me.
Food was not good choices yesterday, but I stayed under my calorie goal. For some reason I NEEDED a twinkie… can’t explain it but I HAD to have one. So I did, it made me feel sick so I think I can cross that off my prego foods! Well have a great day ladies!
Posted on July 8th, 2008 by tkt117
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Hey Ladies! Thanks so much for all of your encouraging words last week. We went to my PIL and helped them with stuff around the house. They are in their 80’s and living alone, so all of the kids try and help with stuff like yard work, home repair, etc. Although it seems like some of us do more than others, but I guess that happens in every family.
Thursday I go in for the ultrasound. I am a nervous wreck. I keep trying not to think about it, but it is hard. The doc said that at this point, I may not know if I miscarry. But so far I have not experienced anything out of the norm. I still have morning sickness from 10 to 2… have to pee every 2 hours… and I am bone tired. I did do some research on the web, and learned that some women have a misshapen cervix after a pregnancy and it may “appear” dilated. Which is what the doc offered as a possible reason, however even more said that a dilated cervix ended in miscarry for them. So I don’t feel any better about that. Sometimes more information is not better.
Food SUCKED! My uncle was in town from Utah, so we had a bbq with New York Steak, crab, and baked potatoes. Yep… I ate it all, except the crab evidently that is not something I can stomach while pregnant.
We worked on finishing up our boat all weekend. I am redoing all of the upholstery, dh is putting in new carpet, and repairing some soft spots in the floor. It is going to look GREAT! I will post some pics on facebook if and when we get it done. We only have two more weeks, so no more dragging our feet! I also painted the trailer, well actually I supervised as I don’t want to be around the fumes and I made new curtains. So I was really busy between naps and eating!
Well I better get to work, I have a report that is really really really late!
Posted on July 7th, 2008 by tkt117
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LOL… I am running out of creative titles! So today is my doc appointment. I don’t expect anything too special. I already started the vitamins, logging my bp, and my weight. I am going to keep a journal this time. I am NOT going to make the same mistakes as last time. I told dh that my target weight gain was 15lbs and he laughed. I think it is laughable as well. My most immediate goal is to keep my first trimester weight gain at or below 5lbs. That is all I can do for now. Last night I rode one of the horses, it was really hot so we just walked and trotted around. Then I came home and layed down for a bit, made dinner, and got on the treadmill for 40 minutes. Exercising actually helps ease the tremendous fatigue. Some days I feel like I am superglued to the bed and CANNOT move. I think this phase will pass in a couple of months. I just need to get lots of rest and keep moving.
My mom informed me yesterday that she is going through all of the baby toys and giving them away, as she will never get another grandchild. LOL… I told dh and asked if I should tell her. He said, “NO… I think she suspects and she is testing you.” If she really does throw it all away, I will be in BIG trouble. LOL… I already am in big trouble and it grows exponentially every day I don’t tell her. I want to find a really shocking cute way to tell her. She is going to be ecstatic. Hopefully dh doesn’t blow it by telling his parents this week while we are there!
We are leaving tomorrow for a couple of days, so I will be MIA. Have a great 4th of July!
Posted on July 1st, 2008 by tkt117
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Hey Ladies… I am with you… I can’t believe June is over! Yikes it is scary! This weekend was good. I was really good food wise. I have been religously logging my cals and staying OP. I am not going to add any calories to my diet, as being “Obese” I should not gain any weight the first trimester. (LOL..yeah right!) DH is still freaked, but he says he is both excited and apprehensive. I completely understand. I feel overwhelmed with one… two my put me in my grave. We have not told anyone yet. My mom called while I was gone, and informed DH that we need to either adopt or buy a baby so Cam has someone to play with. DH nearly choked, my mom told me he got really upset at the joking suggestion. He asked if my whole family has a sixth sense or what!
I have my first doc appointment tomorrow. Seems kind of early, but DH is in denial until the doc confirms. The wierd thing is that the only doc at our clinic that does OB is my DH’s doc. I guess he is changing specialties.
We went on a nice trail ride yesterday with the horses. We hauled over to the tree farm. It was so nice. DS went for his first trail ride with his pony. He did great, but he was a little bit intimidated. It was our first time taking out his pony on a real trail. She was terrific. We had to swim across a creek, it was up past her chest and she was the only horse that didn’t hesitate, in fact she drug me and my fraidy cat horse across. He almost fell off once when she jumped a large log, but he managed to stick the landing and laugh about it afterwards.
Well I better get going… have a great Monday everyone!
Posted on June 30th, 2008 by tkt117
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Well I broke the news to dh… evidently he forgot or wasn’t listening when I told him I was off my BC pills. (That will teach him…) I think he is scared. He is 47 years old, and he is afraid of being an older parent. He already gets called DS grandfather. But once the shock has warn off and we get a chance to talk about it, he will feel better. I told him there are lots of women his age having children. People are waiting longer… he had his 20+ years of freedom before he met me. LOL.. now he is stuck.
I got on the treadmill for 25 minutes and did 1.25 miles. I also rode the horses and did some ground training. I was EXHAUSTED when I got home. But at least I slept better. I am already having those horrible thoughts. I took DS to McD for lunch and I was sooooo tempted to just order the deep fried chick sandwich with fries. But I didn’t I got the grilled chicken sans mayo. I can tell this is going to be a challenge for me. According to my BMI, I should only gain 15 pounds. YIKES, I gained that in the first trimester last time. I don’t know how realistic that is.
I did fish around for info from DS if he would like to have a baby bro or sis… Unequivocal YES! I told him they are a lot of work, and they will take a lot of our time. “I don’t care… I can take care of her.” LOL… he wants a sis. I never could have predicted that. DH is in denial until I go to a Real Doc and have an official test. Three home tests are not enough. I don’t know when we will tell DS. Probably not for a few months. Well ladies, I need to hop in the shower. Have a good Friday!
Posted on June 27th, 2008 by tkt117
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Morning Ladies! So I still have not broke the news to dh. I think I will wait until this weekend. Yesterday was a crummy day and I didn’t want to be in a bad mood when I told him. I had taken my laptop in to have some files repaired, and the guy erased my hard drive and reloaded windows without talking to me. I didn’t have everything backed up… so now I have to take it to a specialist and have some data recovered. So… I was crying and upset and completely overreating because my hormones are out of control. Dh kept a wide berth last night!
I am open to suggestions on how to break the news! He may already be suspicous, because I never take naps in the afternoon. I feel fine today. Now that I know, I feel like a dummy for not recognizing the symptoms earlier. I am nausous around certain foods and my tummy is rumbly all the time. Last night I went home and went right to bed. Felt good to lay there and recoup.
I did ride last night, but not very hard. The horse was really spooky and balking at everything. I think she was afraid a giant “imaginary” bunny was going to run out and eat her! LOL… she is a 17 hand horse that is 5’6” at the withers. I rode her through it and her owner said she was trying the same stuff the day before. So we spent a lot of time standing by imaginary bunnys.
DS has a riding lesson today. I am not sure if I will ride. I may just get on and walk around or ground drive him. I have decided that I am going to cart train all of the horses so that I can still get my horse fix in. I may not actually get them hooked up to a cart, but we will do a lot of ground driving (me walking behind them) and exercise.
Have a great day ladies!
Posted on June 26th, 2008 by tkt117
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So lately I have been feeling bone tired. I have even been going home and taking naps, which is really unusual for me. Last week TOM came… kind of… I had two days of spotting and then it went away. I wasn’t too surprised as I quit taking the BC pill I was on because it was really screwing with my TOM. I was spotting for two weeks at a stretch. But today I was emotional, tired, and had an allergy attack. Well… six years ago I had allergies and I was pregnant. I rarely get allergies. I kept expecting TOM to catch up with me and it never did. So I pulled out a dollar store prego test that I had bought for a friend three years ago and took the test. POSITVE! OMG! Well considering I paid a dollar for the test, I decided I needed a second opinion. In a state of shock and denial I headed off to the local pharmacy. As I stood there looking at the tests, I refused to pay $14.95 for one test so I left.
I toyed with telling dh… but I really didn’t want to alarm him. I mean how accurate can an old dollar store prego test be? We are not actively trying to have more children. But considering I TOLD him I was off my pills and he never took any precautions, I figure he can’t be too upset. We have gone back and forth on whether or not it is fair to only have one child. We both feel and immense sense of guilt, as ds has wanted a bro or sis for the last four years. But I am not prepared for this. After dinner, I freaked out. I had to KNOW. So I made up an excuse and ran to Target. I still could not bring myself to pay $14 for a single test, even if it has a stupid digital read out. So I grabbed a generic two pack, paid for my wares, and headed off to the ladies room. YEP… I confirmed it in a bathroom stall at Target! The little pink lines all lit up fuschia.
So here I sit at 11 at night trying to get a grasp on this news. I know all will work out for the best. I have a great dh and great son and my family will be thrilled. (Although not to be around me, as I am not a very good pregnant woman!) Last time I was pregnant, I used it as an excuse to gorge myself. I gained nearly 70lbs… most of which is still with me today. I am terrified! This may be the slippery slope that pushes me into the 200’s for life! I am also really busy right now getting my life and fitness on track. How will a pregnancy affect that? I love riding the horses. I know that I will be able to do that for the next three to four months if I don’t get too big, but after that it is something that I will really miss.
On the other hand, ds will be thrilled. For all intense purposes I was an only child, my sis was 14 years older and married and gone at the age of 18. I was so envious of my friends who had a house full of siblings. Dh is one of six, so his experience is different. I think he has feelings of resentment towards not getting enough attention, but he really cherishes his relationships with his family now. All of the cousins in the family are considerably older than Ds… 17 to 14.. so he doesn’t even have an extended family to fall back on. (Except for his step-cousins)
I looked up pregnancy for fat people on the web… I should gain between 15 and 25 pounds. That will keep me right at or below 200. I know it seems callous or selfish to obsess about this when I am bringing a new life into the world. But I want to be able to be active and energetic when it arrives, not fat and depressed. I think I am delusional! I better get some sleep. Tomorrow I need to tell dh… oh I hope he doesn’t have a heart attack! :-P Thanks for listening to me rant.
Posted on June 25th, 2008 by tkt117
Filed under: General | 4 Comments »