Una ragazza magra

So, I’ve just “wasted” a couple of hours redesigning my blog and figuring out a bit of HTML and how to add some nifty features.  I’ve added a progress ticker (see right side for widget), and I’ve updated the About page with pictures at two different points.  Tomorrow I’ll try to take a picture of myself now, since I’ve lost about 20 lbs. since that last picture.

Anyhow, today went well– no big issues.  I even have Halloween candy hanging around, and it’s not giving me any problems.  I think I’ll ziploc bag it up, though, and keep it till my husband gets home from Iraq, and I’ll stick some in his lunch periodically when he goes back to work.  I can handle candy– pizza, on the other hand, turns my willpower into jelly.

In another crisis averted, I have decided not to go to someone’s house on Sunday for lunch.  They’re serving “spaghetti pie,” which sounds wonderful, but sadly full of carbs and stuff I’m not supposed to eat.  It really does take at least 3 days for my body to recover from a cheat, and since I’m on a roll with a 5 lb. loss in 5 days, I hate to slow the progress.  I am truly busy with a paper (the one I was procrastinating about while working on this redesign) and grading exams, homework, etc., so my excuse was at least a good one.  If I can just stay strong through the diet part, hopefully when I maintain, I’ll be able to handle stuff like this and go eat a moderate amount and be fine– we’ll see.  I’m not thinking maintenance will be easy, but I’ll just have to wait and see, I guess.  At least working on the blog today re-motivated me.  It was nice to see the progress (as represented by that icky before picture– I think that’s my worst picture ever!).

I’m getting a bit bored with metaquick, so it’s a good thing I get to go back to normal on Monday.  I can’t wait to have my cheese toast. :)  I am also looking forward to dinner tonight.  I had a good coupon for starkist creations pouches, and I bought the tomato pesto tuna– I’ll eat half a package and one slice of cheese for my protein, so I’m thinking I’ll put all that on a piece of toast.  It sounds yummy.  There is a bit of sugar and modified food starch in the ingredients, but it doesn’t even amount to anything on the nutrition list, and the calories are way low (70 cal for the whole 2 oz, I think), so I’m not going to worry about it.  Besides, a little variety is good now and then.

Breakfast:  shake, HNS

Lunch:  bar, HNS

Dinner:  will be tuna and cheese on toast, and the rest of the frozen green beans that are so nasty– I’ll spice them up with lots of garlic and spray butter again, so at least I’ll be able to choke them down, HNS

Snack:  creamy HNS at night

I’m not getting in my water, so I need to go fill up my bottle, I suppose.

Today was fabulous.  I wish every dieting day were like this.  I went to weigh in today, and I’ve lost FIVE pounds since Monday– go me.  This metaquick thing is apparently working very well.  I also lost 7.5 lbs. overnight according to my scale at home.  I’m anxious to see tomorrow’s number to see if I go back up.  7.5 lbs. scarcely seems possible.  I know of course that it’s not fat loss, but some part of it probably is.  Anyhow, I onlyl have two days left of metaquick.  Here’s the boring menu for today:

Breakfast: shake, HNS

Lunch: bar, HNS

Dinner: 1/4 wrap, 2 melba toast, 2 oz. chicken, 1 oz. cheese, 4 oz green beans (the frozen steam in a bag kind– those are nasty!  Canned are much better.  Thank goodness I only bought one bag of them.  I’ll finish them just so I’m not wasteful, but ICK!), HNS

snack: creamy cappuccino HNS

weight at home:  179

weight at MRC:  191

The only problem I see on the horizon is a lunch Sunday with another family.  It’s either this Sunday or next, and I don’t know which.  They’re having “spaghetti pie,” which fills me with fear and dread.  It sounds really good, but of course it’s awful for me, and I’m betting it will be served with garlic bread and a salad (which I could have, but if it’s iceberg, I can’t force it down) and dessert– all major problems.  I’m trying to think of a way to get out of it, but we’ll see.  I’m pondering that for tomorrow.  I could always plead homework, grading, and a paper, which would of course be the truth, so I legitimately might need to back out for those reasons if it is in fact this weekend.

Despite the fact that I’ve not been blogging since the train wreck, I’ve happily been doing well.  I had rough pizza days on Friday and Saturday, but Sunday went perfectly, and on Monday I started Meta-quick, and have been continuing with it, and it’s been going just fine.  They warned me that I might get really hungry, but it hasn’t been too much of a problem yet.  I’m so busy during the day that I don’t have much time to think about it before dinner, which is a regular meal, so I’ve been doing fine.  My weight this morning was also encouraging– 1/2 lb. down from my lowest weight before the big binge, so it looks like I’ve negated all adverse effects from that.  I will go back to MRC on Friday, so I’m hoping for a nice encouraging loss.  I’m allowed to do the metaquick thing for 7 days each month, and if it keeps going this well, I most likely will do it once a month.  It’s not just that it speeds up weight loss, but with my busy schedule, it’s nice to not have to cook or pack a lunch.  I just know I’ll have the shake for breakfast, bar for lunch, and then dinner.  Bars are quick to pack, shake is just as easy as my normal breakfast, and dinner has never been a problem anyhow.  They don’t really taste bad, although it’s no DQ chocolate shake, but it’s doable.  Also, I think I will feel better when I go back to my regular diet because it will feel less boring/like I have more choices.  So, it’s good for physical weight loss as well as my mental ability to stay OP, I think. 

typical menu:

B: shake (200), HNS (70)

L: bar (150), HNS (70)

D:  roast chicken 4 oz., steamed broccoli 4 oz., 1/4 wrap and melba toast (totalling 40), HNS (70)

snack: creamy HNS (90)

So, while this is low calorie, I don’t really think it’s that much lower than I usually eat.  Still, the volume of food is less, so I’m perhaps losing “weight” that way.  Also, they say that this will help by shaking up my routine so my body won’t get used to the same foods, which I think could be accurate.  Also, this is even higher in protein than my normal diet, so if there is some truth to the protein helping you burn extra calories, then that could help as well.  Either way, I’m glad my two days didn’t turn into a derailment completely.

weight at home:  188

Okay, so I didn’t blog last night because I utterly did not want to think about what I had done.  So, here it is:

Saturday 10/25/08

Breakfast: cheese toast, hardboiled egg white, HNS

Lunch: was going to eat a bar, but I ate breakfast too late because I slept in, then I got busy with costumes, and I didn’t end up eating anything

Snacks at party:  We were supposed to eat dinner (of course, I had planned not to eat at all because in theory I would have just had a bar before we left), but all they had were desserts and snacky stuff.  I persevered and because I was hungry, I ate a handful of tortilla chips with about 2 Tbsp. of bean/cheese dip, then some pretzels and popcorn, and one bite of apple pie– avoided all the other desserts completely, and believe me, it was a struggle because there were a lot of really good looking ones!

Dinner:  Since all of us were hungry due to lack of real food, Jeff and Jocelyn had us over for pizza, and I just lost it.  I think it was the combination of genuine hunger, disappointment at myself from yesterday, and the all or nothing mentality, so here’s what happened:

3.5 pieces of little caesar’s pepperoni pizza (large pizza), and I would have totally eaten dessert if there had been any, but thankfully there wasn’t!  Oh, but I didn’t eat the crust, lol.

weight this morning:  191.5

So, I’m going up, but I think I’m holding water because my wedding ring is tight, and it’s been so loose lately that I was contemplating getting it resized.  Anyhow, I am happy to say that I’m back on track today and that things have been going very well.  Good breakfast, good lunch, and I don’t foresee any obstacles for dinner since it’s at home.  Tomorrow I’m going to start the meta quick where I just have a shake for breakfast, a bar for lunch, and a (normal diet) dinner.  I’m actually looking forward to it.  I like convenience and speed since I”m so busy, so I just hope I don’t get crazy hungry on it since it does severely limit calories.  With HNS, it’s about 260 for breakfast, 210 for lunch, and then whatever dinner is, usually less than 300, so that’s only 770 for  the day– we’ll see if I can make it.  In any case, I think it would be good for me to get back on track and not be tempted to make further mistakes.  I feel like I’ve already started back on track today,  but it can’t hurt to use it to help regain control.

Oddly enough, I’ve been on this diet for about 3 months now, and this is the first full blown major loss of control moment/couple of days that I’ve had.  I have, of course, eaten off plan a couple minor times when there weren’t options, but I could  have avoided these.  Still, making it 3 months is not too bad– that’s longer than I can make it most of the time.

Well, tonight did NOT go well…I had well laid plans, but then they brought over pizza…didn’t eat it at first, but then I got hungry…and that’s when i have trouble, when I’m genuinely hungry.  Here’s one for you calorie counter, Laura– and you were so right about not making cookies, but did I listen?  No, I thought I could handle it.  Boy, was I wrong.  This just shows me that i definitely do still have a food addiction there.  It’s kind of scary, really, since I really thought I’d come a long way in mastering the art of portion control, even if I was cheating.  I think I’ve been leading up to a problem lately, and this was definitely it!

Breakfast: MRC cheesecake, HNS

Lunch:  bar, HNS

Dinner:  3.5 pieces mad mushruoom sausage pizza (didn’t eat crusts), 1 piece cheesy bread (no crust), 6 (yes, SIX!!) chocolate chip cookies (they were small, at least– 80 calories each). 

I completely lost control, and I feel so awful about it now (not overstuffed awful, just totally regretting it).  On top of that, we were trying on costumes, and I was having some major difficulty with the belt and realized that I am about the same size as a friend who I thought was bigger than me– I suppose that shouldn’t  bother me a great deal, but it does kind of make me feel fatter.  This has just not been a good day.  So, the plan for tomorrow is to start fresh, get on the treadmill so I at least burn a bit of it off, make a good plan for the rest of the day and the coming week, and hope that it doesn’t slow me down too much.  Starting Monday I’m going to do the metaquick plan (shake for breakfast, bar for lunch, normal MRC dinner), which is supposed to speed up the process a bit, so hopefully that will help.  I’m just hoping I’m not too hungry on it, because, again, that’s when I have my worst problems.  Talk about a bad week– slow scale and two major cheats– yikes!  I’m sure I’ll be seeing the results of my little indiscretion on the scale tomorrow morning…

weight at home (before the big pizza catastrophe): 188.5

Well…..today didn’t go all that well.  I think the problem started when I went to WI and had only lost 1 lb. despite weigh ins being a little slow lately.  I had been perfect, so I was expecting a greater loss, and it was a bit of a disappointment.  Then I went home and because I was a little down, I decided I didn’t want to put the energy into making lunch, so I had a fourth bar for the week (only supposed to have 3), and I had the wafer kind, too, which have extra carbs, so I felt a smidge guilty about that.  Then, when I eat bars, I’m always a bit hungrier for dinner, and I knew I had a class lasting till 9, so I took a drink with me to have as a snack.  Well laid plans, but when I went into the grad lounge to read, there was free food…and yes, I was hungry since it had been about 5 hours.  So, at least I didn’t get any of the sweets, but it certainly was not on my menu.  I’m not really hungry now, though, so I won’t be eating another dinner, and I’m just having an extra drink.  Hopefully it doesn’t do too much damage, but now I’m super disappointed, so I need to try to let it go so it doesn’t get me down.  I”m thinking of making chocolate chip cookies (slice and bake) tomorrow because some people are coming over, and I feel like I should have a snack.  Usually, I would be able to withstand the temptation, but considering I strayed today, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.  Normally I get right back on, but I’m kind of sensing a bit of rebellion in myself for some reason.

Breakfast: MRC cheesecake, HNS

Lunch: chocolate wafer bar (these are delish, just like dessert, and you can’t tell they’re sugar free), HNS

Dinner: 10 ritz crackers, 3 oz. cheese, 15 pepperoni slices, broccoli with no dip– could have been worse, I suppose, but still more calories than I normally get.

Snack: HNS

MRC weight: 195.5 (down 1 lb. since Monday)

weight at home: 189.5– finally below the 90s, and it corresponds with my 1 lb. loss at MRC.  Maybe I should just focus on that number.

Today went well.  I was going to wear these black pants that just fit a bit snug 3 weeks ago– I can’t even wear them anymore because they’re too big.  They’re not forgiving size wise because there are no belt loops, so there’s no way to really keep them up if they’re too big.  I’ve worn them twice since I bought them.  Oh well.  I’m glad they’re too big, but now I have no black pants, so that stinks since they’re kind of a necessity in the working world.  I feel as if I’m getting thinner by the feel of my clothes, but it’s not showing up on the scale this week.  Maybe it’s still water or something.  I drank a lot to day (new water bottle that works very well), so maybe I’ll show a loss tomorrow.

Breakfast: MRC cheesecake, HNS

Lunch: bar, HNS

Snack: HNS– I knew it would be a while before I could eat again

Dinner: 2 oz. grilled chicken on 1/4 wrap (25 cal), 1 oz. cheese, 4 oz. broccoli, 2 melba toast (20 cal), HNS

weight at home: 190.5– still not budging.

Today went well.  I persevered and ate my veggies tonight, even though I didn’t want to go through the trouble of packing them (had to work) and then eating them on top of that.  I also avoided some candy traps.  I do need to start doing a better job with my water, though.  I’m just not drinking it all.  Mainly, my current water bottle is disgusting.  My husband left it in his car for months, and it grew nasty stuff.  I washed it several times in the dishwasher, so it is sanitized, I’m sure, but it still has that smell to it– no taste, just a yeasty smell that I’m more and more disgusted by.  So, I’ve decided to buy a new one, but now I’ll have to wait until the weekend when I have time to go get one.

Breakfast: MRC cheesecake (4 oz. cottage cheese, 3 melba toast rounds, 1/4 pudding supplement (20 cal)), HNS

Lunch: bar (150 cal), HNS

Snack: HNS

Dinner: 2 oz. grilled chicken, 1 oz. cheddar, on 1/4 wrap (25)– very yummy.  I’ve been into grilled things lately.  4.2 oz. broccoli, HNS

weight at home: 190.5  I can’t seem to get over this hump.  I had a very heavy shirt on this morning, though, so that could contribute at least a pound, and it was too cold to take it off, so we’ll just see what happens tomorrow.  The wii fit says I’ve lost 1.5 lbs. in 5 days, so that’s slower than normal, but I’m weighing at different times in different clothes, so it’s hard to tell. 

I tried on a couple pairs of 12s tonight.  Most of them lack about 2 inches of closing comfortably.  One pair will close, but it’s not pretty!  So, it will probably be at least another two weeks before I can actually start wearing them.  I think things are progressing nicely, and quickly, too, but every time I’ve been in a size for a while, I start to get antsy to get on to the next.   My 14s are now plenty loose, but of course I’m not quite down to the 12s– at least, I’m not comfortably into the 12s, and I refuse to let myself look like a stuffed sausage…patience.

Well, I was down 1/2 lb. today at weigh in.  It was a bit disappointing, but in reality, I did eat out/cheat just a bit yesterday, so the sodium content if nothing else might have caused me to hold water.  Since I’m on such a low sodium plan, it seems that if I even get just a few milligrams over my normal amount, it causes me to hold water.  Also, I had much heavier jeans, a corduroy jacket, and a belt on….so you never know.  Yes, those are excuses, but they make me feel better.

Breakfast:  cheese toast (1oz. cheddar, 45 cal bread), 1 hard boiled egg white, HNS

Lunch:  bar, HNS

Dinner: Shrimp taco (wonderful!  I used 2 oz. leftover grilled shrimp from last night, 1 oz. cheese, and 1/4 wrap (25 cal), and it was fabulous– I may have to buy some shrimp and make it myself sometime) broccoli, 2 garlic melba toasts (30 cal), HNS

I didn’t get to eat dinner until very late due to some water leakage problems with the house, so I went about 8 hours between meals, which is not good, but it couldn’t be helped.

weight at MRC: 196.5

weight at home: 190.5

So, today presented a myriad of food challenges, beginning with lunch at someone’s house.  Luckily, there was a meat, but not much else that I could eat.  She had roast beef, carrots (too much sugar), corn (too much sugar), green bean casserole (too much junk on it), bread, and other salads (all off plan due to added fat/sugar), and dessert.  So, I ate the meat and a piece of bread, which wasn’t technically OP, but I didn’t eat bread at dinner, so not too bad.

Then, I had to go to Red Lobster with someone.  I got grilled shrimp, double broccoli, a salad with dressing on the side (although I did eat about half of it).  That would have been okay, but the person I was with ordered a fried veggie and calamari platter– and I had a few pieces of each, but it was fried broccoli, and it wasn’t heavily breaded, so it could have been worse.  I also took carb/fat blockers at both meals.  Hopefully they helped.

Breakfast: cheese toast (45 cal bread, 1 oz. cheddar), 1 hardboiled egg white, HNS

Lunch:  Roast Beef (in a crock pot, approx. 4-5 oz.), 1 piece plain white bread, HNS

Dinner:  Grilled shrimp (10 jumbo), 2 oz. broccoli, 5 pieces fried broccoli, 4 pieces fried calamari (small pieces), caesar salad w/ 1 Tbsp. regular dressing and some parmesan (no croutons), about 1 Tbsp. miscellaneous dressing/butter, HNS

So, I did okay, but I’m really hoping this doesn’t make me show a gain or stall me out when I go to WI tomorrow.  I’ll let you know what happens.

weight at home: 190.5 (same as yesterday)