Una ragazza magra

Having to write all these papers and being so busy is killing my diet.  I suppose I should be happy to maintain this week since dieting is totally not my top priority right now.  My worst snacky habit is eating when I’m having a paper writing marathon, which is what I’m doing.  Eating gives me nice breaks, and I enjoy it (which is of course what got me here in the first place).  Today was not terrible– the calories were still fairly low, but I was not OP, nor did I expect to be.  However, I had a snack in the late afternoon that added probably an extra 300 calories to my usual total.  I may add these up at some point, but no time for that this week, so I guess I’ll let the scale do the talking on Friday.

Breakfast: cheese toast, 1 egg white, HNS

Lunch: bar, HNS

Snack: 6 crackers (90), 1 oz. full fat cream cheese (100), 4 melba toasts (80)

Dinner: 2 oz. tuna (thought I should get some protein in there to hold the hunger at bay), 1 oz. cheddar, 6 crackers, 1/2 cup pear sauce, HNS, 2 melba toast (40), 1/4 choc. mini crisps (40)

I really need to get over this cracker addiction.  The first sleeve is almost gone so perhaps when it’s done I should stick them in the closet and not get them out again, lol.  Or, better yet, do it now so it’s out of sight.  I was genuinely hungry when I had the snack because the bars don’t fill you up that much, but I should have had protein so it would have stayed with me better because at dinner I was ravenous again, which then contributed to eating a bit more than normal.  I also need to get back to taking my food elsewhere to eat.  I’ve been standing in the kitchen lately to save time, but that just keeps me near the food before I have a chance to feel full, and I have been grabbing a couple extra melba toasts afterward for about a week now.

weight at home: 172– it’s basically staying the same, so at least I’m not gaining.

Well…today was okay– not 100% OP, but my calories were definitely fairly low.  I’m just so busy with end of semester stuff that I don’t have time to cook or plan, so I’ve been grabbing stuff.  Today I subsisted on crackers and cheese, but not much of them, so it worked out okay, I think.

Breakfast: cheese toast, 1 egg white, HNS

Lunch: 5 crackers (80), 1.5 slices of pepperjack cheese (120), pear sauce (basically cooked pears and water with cinnamon– 3/4 cup), HNS

Dinner: 9 crackers, 2 slices pepperjack, 3 melba toast, 3/4 cup pear sauce, HNS, coffee with peppermint mocha creamer (40)

So, not completely OP, but I think the calories are still under 1000, so we’ll see what happens on Friday’s WI.  If I’ve gained or maintained, I’m going to try to kick it up a notch, but I’m not too worried because exercise starts hopefully next week if all goes well with my papers.  I also have instant play netflix workout videos that I want to try, so I should at least have time for that, even if I don’t have time to go to the gym.  On Thursday my professor is taking the class out for a drink (an alcoholic drink), so we’ll see what happens.  I might have a glass of wine, but if the only option is beer, bring on the diet coke.  I don’t like beer at all, so no way I’m going to cheat for that!

weight at home: 172 (this is down from yesterday morning, but my all time low was 171.5 in the morning)

I haven’t been getting in all my water, so I’ll try to do better with that tomorrow.  The days are all running together since I’m so busy with stuff and sleeping (or rather NOT sleeping) at odd times of the day and night.

Despite the two fairly major cheats this weekend, I lost a pound since Friday– go figure.  I was kind of scared to go to WI, but it went okay.  However, I didn’t drink much water today because I forgot my water bottle in the car, and I hadn’t had dinner yet, so perhaps it’s a false loss– I’ll take it, though!

I’ve also had a small cheat tonight.  I have the awful tendency to snack when I’m doing some serious homework (which will be my life for two weeks straight, pretty much).  I had some reduced fat club crackers (70 cal) and one slice of pepperjack (80 cal).  It was  yummy snack, definitely hit the spot.  I tried to be good and do the HNS thing, but I took a couple bites of the choc. mini crisps, and it just didn’t do it for me, so I switched.  It actually has the same number of calories anyway, so I figure it’s a pretty even trade, even if I did have more carbs.  It was real food, and it was much more satisfying.

I also had a small epiphany tonight– I have lost FIFTY (fifty-one to be exact) pounds.  That means I only have 31 left to go to hit my goal.  However, according to the body fat % charts, I really should be more like 150 instead of 145, which is below normal for my body fat %.  So, in that case, I would only have about 25 lbs. left to go…that’s insane.  25 is not a problem.  Just the fact that it seems totally doable for me is a really new feeling.  I’m still motivated, and while I have had a couple cheats in the past few days, none of them have been out and out binges– just the opposite, in fact.  I was totally in control.  I ate off plan, but I ate very reasonable and, dare I say, “normal” ammounts that I wouldn’t be embarrassed about– very uncharacteristic of my usual binge-y self.   I also plan to throw exercise into the mix next week, so hopefully that will kick-start another loss, too.  Maybe it is possible to change binge eating habits.

People keep noticing that I’ve lost weight.  My size 2 roommate told me I was “really skinny”– LOL.  Other people keep asking/commenting, too, so that helps with motivation, too.  Not to mention that my husband’s (who’s in Iraq) jaw keeps dropping when he sees me on the webcam– I think that’s the best part of all.

Breakfast:  cheese toast, 1 egg white, HNS

Lunch: bar, HNS

Dinner:  1/2 wrap, taco meat, cheese, pear sauce (very good– like apple butter almost and very low calorie), way too many melba toast (like 8 or so, and I should have only had two.  They’re not really high in calories, but I don’t know why I’ve had the whole cracker craving lately.), HNS

snack:  cheese and crackers (150)

MRC weight:  176

weight at home:  173

I had to go to a department Christmas party tonight– not really a meal, but totally a snacky/appetizer situation.  I knew it would be like this, so I didn’t eat dinner, and I had an HNS ahead of time, so I really wasn’t super hungry.  It could have been worse– I also took carb blockers just before.  We’ll see how weigh in goes tomorrow.  This combined with Chick fil a could seriously make me gain or at least hold water.  I didn’t eat very much tonight, so calories weren’t terrible, but it was definitely not OP food.

Breakfast:  bar, HNS (late for church)

Lunch:  cheese toast, 1 egg white, HNS

Dinner:  1 mini quiche tartlet, 1 bruschetta piece, 1 eggplant strip with anchovy/cheese on it, 1 square of cheesy egg on a pastry, 1 spanakopita triangle, hummus (2 Tbsp.) with about 1/4 pita, 1 cracker, 2 pieces (about 1 inch cubes) of almond biscotti, 1 cranberry nut cookie, 1 glass red wine.

We’ll see how this goes– the food wasn’t absolutely awful for you, and we’ll see what the wine does to me.  I don’t often have that, so who knows.  Apparently some people have big trouble with it, and some don’t. 

weight at home:  173.5 with clothes on

I had a bit of a rough day.  It went just fine until friends asked me to go to All-You-Can-Eat nugget night at Chick-Fil-A.  I went because I was bored and wanted to get out of the house, but it was definitely not OP.  I did eat by far much less than I used to do.  I had 16 nuggets (as opposed to my normal 30) and only one medium fry (as opposed to my one medium and 2-3 small fries), along with one ranch packet (as opposed to 4 or so).  Yikes– just thinking about what I used to eat is scary.  I really can’t believe I used to eat that much.  I’m seriously full on what I ate– pushing overfull, actually, and it wasn’t even 1/3 of what I used to put away.

On to the cookie dough part– for some reason i just started to CRAVE cookie dough at dinner– before I even left the restaurant.  I decided I would have some from my freezer (in a package, thank goodness).  Well, when I got home I thought about making a bag/batch that I had on the shelf, but I thought that would be a bad idea since I would have so many leftovers with nowhere to take them.  An open package in the freezer would be bad, too, though.  Long story short, I just didn’t open anything and finished making my pear sauce (like applesauce– I got some free pears the other day, and I just cooked them in the crock pot with cinnamon and a little water, and it’s great!), took a couple bites to taste that, and by then I didn’t want the cookie dough as bad.  I mean, I still want it, but at least it’s not the focused, intense I.  WANT.  COOKIE.  DOUGH.  NOW!!  feeling.  Hopefully I can make it through until I go to bed, but I feel like the worst is over, so I should be okay.  I rarely get cravings like that.  I’m usually more of an opportunistic cheater, only going off plan when the situation presents itself rather than seeking it out. 

Breakfast:  cheese toast, 1 egg white, HNS

Lunch:  bar

Dinner:  Chickfila:  16 nuggets, 1 med. fry, 1 ranch packet, coke zero (1000 calories even, according to calorie king– I suppose it could be worse.)

weight at home:  172 (up 1/2 lb. from yesterday morning)

I went to WI today, seriously hoping I’d hit the 170s (I was 181.5 on Monday), and, incredibly, I hit 177, which is the 50 lb. mark.  So, now I get to start using the Coach purse I bought over Thanksgiving– see it here.

So, I’m pretty excited today. I must have been holding water or something from Thanksgiving. It’s still a mystery to me how I’ve lost this much weight with Thanksgiving in there– who knows?

Breakfast: bar, HNS

Lunch: cheese toast, egg white, HNS, 2 melba toast

Dinner:

weight at home: 171.5
MRC weight: 177

Today went well– no big issues, and I’m looking forward to WI tomorrow since it feels (and shows according to the scale at home) like I’ve lost weight– always a good thing!  I’m hoping to be out of the 180s tomorrow, so we’ll see how it goes.

Breakfast: cheese toast, egg white, HNS

Lunch: bar (4th for the week– I can’t get back into the swing of eating a real lunch, so I guess I’ll just continue the bar until I feel like making something again.  It’s not technically OP, but it’s low in calories, so I doubt it really matters.)

Dinner:  1/2 pita, taco meat, cheese, applesauce (still don’t want broccoli), 2 melba toast, HNS

snack: creamy HNS, 2 melba toast, 1/2 slice pepperjack (I ate dinner so early due to my class that I was really hungry)

weight at home:  173

After a couple weeks absence from the diet blog, I’m back to journaling.  There was no major binging– I just didn’t have much time, and the holidays and travelling made it difficult, so I took a break. 

Metaquick was somewhat successful– 4.5 lbs. total for the week.  However, my greatest success is in having maintained (yes, you read that right) over Thanksgiving week.  I went to WI today, and I was exactly the same as I was a week ago.  Even better than that, I am in a smaller pair of jeans than I was when I left.  The ones I wore home were starting to feel a bit baggy, so I decided to try on the next pair, and they fit!  They were a bit too snug before I left, but now they’re perfect, and my belt is one more notch down. 

The only thing I can think of is that I still kept my calories in check even though I was eating off plan food.  I still ate Thanksgiving favorites, but I did eat less.  Also, for the three days prior, I was practically living on tiramisu (I made one for my Italian students– BIG mistake– there was way too much left over, and I caved a couple times and ate a piece, replacing lunch or breakfast or even dinner, so I think my calories weren’t actually any worse, but talk about unhealthy!).  Anyway, I don’t know how I made it out of the last two weeks unscathed, but so it is.

Today was back on track (except I still can’t face broccolli), so I’m looking forward to reaching the next 10 lb. goal in the next couple of weeks.  I actually bought my next reward (a coach purse) while I was at home.  I know that sort of defeats the purpose, but they always have a huge sale at the outlet on the day after Thanksgiving, so if I was going to buy one, that day was the time to do it.  I got one that I love for $140, so it really wasn’t too bad compared to what they usually run– it was 50% off the outlet price.  I don’t think I could justify the full $300 on a purse no matter how much weight I lost!  However, I am not using it/taking the tag off/looking at it until I reach the goal.  It’s shoved in the back of my closet just waiting to be used, so it is still serving a motivational purpose, perhaps moreso than if I hadn’t bought it in the first place.

It’s also December 1st and time to post another picture.  I plan to take it and post tonight, but we’ll see if I get that done.  Here’s the menu for today:

Breakfast: cheese toast, 1 egg white, HNS

Lunch:  bar, HNS

Dinner:  2 oz. turkey taco meat, 1 oz. cheddar, 1/4 wrap, 3 melba toast, HNS

weight at home:  175

MRC weight: 181.5

Well, things went fine today, but since it was the fifth day on MQ, I’m starting to get a bit bored and miss my morning cheese toast.  Oh well, soon it will be over, and I’m just hoping that nothing happens on Sunday to make me mess up my last day of it.  Unless something miraculous happens come Monday, then the MQ hasn’t been nearly as helpful this time as it was last.  I guess the weight loss isn’t really going that slow, but it feels like it for some reason.  I really think I need to add exercise in, but I just don’t know how I can swing that with my schedule for the next three weeks.  Once finals week gets here, I will try to add it in, but until then, I guess I’ll just have to be patient.

Breakfast and lunch– mq stuff

Dinner:  taco meat (decided to try some variety again since I’ve been stuck on the rotisserie chickens), cheese, 1/4 wrap, 3 melba toast, applesauce

snack:  soy choc. mini crisps

For some reason this afternoon/evening, I have just been HUNGRY.  I went to BWW for a baby shower, and while I avoided wings and, really, all food (I left early saying I already had dinner plans– plans with myself, ha!), it just triggered a craving, and I still am just hungry.  I haven’t caved yet, though, and I’m going to have another HNS to help with the hunger (I missed it at breakfast, anyhow), so hopefully tomorrow will be easier.  I’ve seriously been wanting some real food, though, and I think it’s due to the metaquick.  The problem is, I want real JUNK food or real bad-for-you food, not just real food like I normally eat on this diet.

Hopefully this feeling will pass soon because I feel myself slipping out of control day by day.  I’ve already stopped eating broccolli and have traded it for applesauce, which is not technically right.  I do eat spinach in my salad, though, so I guess I am still getting a veggie  here and there.  Breakfast has turned into a key meal of the day for me for the first time in my life.  I have to eat it, or I’m starving, and I actually enjoy it, plus it keeps me from being ravenous at lunch.  I think I’ve at least mastered that.

weight at home: 178.5– finally under the lowest point ever so far.  I keep bouncing around.

I had planned to go to weigh in on Friday, but I ended up going today.  The results weren’t quite as fabulous as last time I did metaquick, but not terrible, either, and I’ll have to wait until Monday to really see how the week went.

On a brighter note, yesterday I tried on a bunch of old clothes and am putting one of my big storage tubs full of clothes back into my closet.  That means I only have one more storage tub not quite full of clothes in my smallest sizes plus two milk crates left of clothes that should fit in five or ten pounds.  After that, I guess I’ll just have to go shopping!

I figured up my weight loss, and I’m right on track or even ahead of schedule, depending on when you estimate my end date.  Still, I’m hoping that exercise during Christmas break will help speed it up a bit so I can stay ahead or make up for the holiday slow down.  After break is over, I’ll probably be able to continue the exercise since things won’t be so busy at first, and perhaps later I’ll have it more integrated into my routine, so it won’t be so difficult to go– we’ll see!

Breakfast: shake, HNS

Lunch: bar, HNS

snack: chocolate soy mini crisps (150 cal)

Dinner:  2 oz. chicken, cheese toast, applesauce, HNS

weight at home:  179

MRC weight:  184.5 (down 1.5 lbs. since Monday)