I think I’m losing weight.  I was down 1.5 this morning from yesterday morning.  I’ve been working out all week, and the plan is to do that 5 times a week.  It’s ambitious, to say the least, but since I have the appointment with the trainer, I’ve not even had the thought of not actually going, so it’s a good motivator.  He works me pretty hard, too.  I do weights/other muscle strengthening exercises with him for 30-40 minutes, and then I go do my cardio on my own.  Since the knee injury, I’ve been sticking to the elliptical for 30-40 minutes, whatever it takes to burn at least 400 calories.  That puts me at 2,000 calories a week for cardio, and when you add in calories burned in the weights, it will hopefully equal out to an extra pound lost per week.  It would be nice to speed this process up a bit since I hit a bit of a stall over the holidays.  At least I didn’t really gain, but I need to kick it up a bit if I’m going to make my deadline.  Unfortunately, I can’t seem to kick the candy habit.  Tomorrow is the last day for the gummi savers, though, so that should help, lol.  At least I did throw out the flavors I didn’t really care for.

Breakfast:  cheese toast, HNS, 1 egg white

Lunch: bar, HNS, five gummies

Dinner:  taco, 1 melba toast, 5 gummies, 1 pc. chocolate, HNS

weight at home: 165.5 (-1.5 from yesterday!) 

I sprained my knee Christmas Eve (playing ping pong of all things), so I was really worried that my workout plans would all be ruined, but I’ve had enough rest now that I can go back to almost normal.  I had to reduce the weight on the legs, and I can’t run for a month, but I am allowed to do the elliptical as long as it doesn’t hurt too much.  I tried it today for about 40 minutes, and it went fine, so that shouldn’t be a problem.  It says I burned 400 calories, so not bad.  I go back every day this week except the weekends, so I’m getting ready to be sore.

I’m still not eating quite OP, but the calories are always under 1000 (at least, they have been since Saturday when I had a pizza problem–dinner out with my parents), so I’m still losing weight.  I’ve developed a bit of a chocolate habit, too, which is very new for me.  Candy usually doesn’t give me problems.  Still, the most I’ve had is 3 pieces in a day, so it could be worse.  Once the bag is empty, though, I think it would be a good idea not to open another one!

Breakfast:  6 reduced fat club crackers, 1 slice pepperjack, HNS (240 total)

Lunch:  6 reduced fat club crackers, 1 slice pepperjack, HNS (240 total)

Dinner:  2 oz. gr. turkey w/ taco seasoning, 1 oz. cheddar, 1/2 pita, 1/2 cup applesauce, HNS (320)

10 gummi savers (130), 1 piece chocolate (35)

total:  965

I might have a hot chocolate HNS, but I think that will be fine, since I burned 400 calories on the elliptical, not counting the weights I did today as well.

weight at home:  167

MRC weight:  171.5

I’m really looking forward to WI on Monday– I think the exercising should have helped, and my clothes feel a bit looser, so maybe I have actually lost something already.  I’m kind of getting to the point where it’s down the last push, and I’m wondering what I’ll end up looking like.  For example, I still have loose flabby arms, and I just don’t think that’s going to go away– same with my stomach.  Even if I lose a lot of the fat, I kind of think there will still be skin there, but who knows.  I suppose I will just have to wait and see.  I am NOT going to do the plastic surgery thing.  Pain is not fun, and then you’re left with scars, which, IMO, look just as ugly as the extra skin that was there in the first place– perhaps more so.

Okay, finished rambling.

weight at home: 167 (that’s down 1/2 lb. from the lowest ever!)

Anyhow, I decided to go tonight since I had some break time.  It turned out to be free since I was a new customer, but let me just say I’m super pleased with the results.  I look nicely tanned (the chest is a little pink, but not really burnt or anything), and I really don’t think I’ll have to go back.  I might go again in a month or so before my husband gets back from Iraq, but as it is I have enough color to make me happy. 

On to the vanity part– I have started to revert to my habits from several years ago– the habit of actually caring about my appearance.  All semester I have hardly ever left the house without makeup, and before that, I would hardly ever wear makeup at all.  I also spend time fixing my hair and picking out my clothes and shoes with more care.  I’m changing my jewelry every day now to match my outfit– all sorts of things.  Before I just felt that no matter what I did, I wouldn’t look good anyhow, so why bother?  Now it’s fun to see what I look like in the mirror, so it’s a bit of a reward in a way.

I think this is a good change, really, even though it is costing me more with all the shopping I’m doing these days!

I’ve not lost a ton of weight in the past few days despite the working out, but I think I remember reading somewhere that your muscles retain water or something…is that right?  So, I’m not too worried yet.  I actually feel pretty good having worked out.  I feel good mentally– as in I’m proud of myself for doing it, but for the first time, I also feel pretty good physically.  I think having lost so much weight has helped me aerobically, and I can do much more stuff much more easily than I ever could before.  Really, I can’t express how good it feels to be able to climb the three flights of stairs to my office and not even be out of breath at the top.  I used to hate walking up with people because they’d be trying to talk to me, and I’d be huffing and puffing, and now it’s totally not a problem– yea me!

On another tangent– I had a bit of a revelation today.  I have always looked at my wedding pictures in the past and thought– wow, I was so much thinner then; I looked really good!  Ever since then (over 2 years ago), I’ve just wanted to get back to that point, and then I thought I’d be totally satisfied with my weight.  Well, today I was looking through pictures because I get a free 8×10 printed from Walgreens, and I just could not hardly find a wedding picture I was really happy with– I kept looking at my second chin and puffy face.  I’m not trying to beat myself up over how I used to look, but I’m really kind of marveling at the change.  Just a few months ago, I would have never even noticed these problems because I was faced with something worse in the mirror every day.  Now it’s just the opposite– another yea me!  moment.  I was a size 12, pushing a 14 when I got married, and now I’m a size 10.  Here are two pictures– one is my wedding, and the other was taken just a couple days ago:

Incidentally, this shirt is from Charlotte Russe, whose clothes I can actually fit into now! 

Breakfast:  shake, HNS

Lunch:  bar, HNS

Dinner:  2 oz. tuna, 1 slice pepperjack, 6 reduced fat club crackers, 3/4 cup pear sauce, hot cocoa HNS with peppermint mocha creamer

weight– forgot to weigh, but based on the “unofficial” numbers tonight, I’m thinking there’s a loss.

I also worked out for the second day in a row, and it kicked my butt.  I was sore already from yesterday, but now I can hardly move.  To add to my misery, I am going at 10 am tomorrow for another workout.  I worked with my trainer tonight, and it went really well.  He actually did a lot of stuff with me, so it was much better than the last lady I had (over a year ago) who basically just told me to go run for 30 minutes, and then that was it.  He also made out five workouts to alternate, so I can do 3-5, depending on how often I want to come in. 

More than anything, I think just having an appointment is helping me.  I don’t have the option of saying “I’m too busy,” or “I’ll just do it later,” (and then never doing it).  Also, to be honest, it’s more fun with someone else.  It’s not like he’s a friend or anything, but it does make me work harder to know someone is watching me.  So, the next couple of weeks will be a little weird because of vacations (mine and his plus the shutdown of the gym over Christmas week– but I’ll be away then anyway).  I’ll get one full week with him until I start back to school, but I think once I do go back, I’ll try to make a standing appointment with him, at least for a month or so, just so I get into the habit of going.  Maybe I’ll just keep the appointments until my husband gets back from Iraq because it would be nice to not only be at my goal weight but also be more toned up.  I’m thinking that I’m going to go five days a week if I can fit it in my schedule.

The couch to 5K thing is also going well.  I’m actually doing better with it than I thought I would, and it’s nice to not have to rush into running as I used to do if I ever even attempted it.

Breakfast:  shake, HNS

Lunch: bar, HNS

Dinner: 2 oz. tuna, 6 reduced fat club crackers, 1 slice pepperjack (.8 oz), 1/2 cup pear sauce, hot cocoa HNS with 2 T peppermint mocha creamer– that made it taste awesome!  Too bad it was off plan

weight at home: 167.5

MRC weight:  174.5– this is interesting.  I’m down 1.5 at home yet up .5 at MRC….who knows.  We’ll see how it goes Monday because by then I will have worked out 3 or 4 times.

Breakfast: Panera– cherry cheese pastry, 16 oz. mocha, carb blockers

Lunch:  TGI Fridays– parmesan crusted chicken with tortelloni and tomato/mozzarella salad (only ate a few bites of this).  This was off the “perfect proportion” menu, so it was a totally reasonable portion– about half a chicken breast coated in parmesan, 4 decent sized tortellinis in a bit of alfredo/spinach sauce, and a few tomatoes and a mozzarella ball in Italian dressing.

Dinner: 6 melba toast (100), hummus (about 100 also)

I will be hungry again, so I might have a snack, but it will be light.

exercise:  2.6 miles, 35 minutes, approx. 300 calories burned

At home I had crackers and hummus (it was in the fridge, and that one bite really just whetted the hummus appetite).  I also had more coffee with some creamer, and let me tell you, I am totally wired.  That’s a good thing, though, because I still have some work to do on my paper.  Now if I can just settle down enough to get to work on it, it would be a very good thing.

At weigh in today, it says I’ve lost 3.5 lbs. since Friday (I was up 1.5 then, so it’s a net loss of 2 lbs. for the week, really).  So, now I’m at a total of 53 lbs. down.  I’m hoping I’ll get to sign the 55 lb. board on Friday.  There’s exercise in there on Wednesday, and if I do a workout video on Thursday and go back to the gym on Friday, that should help me get there.  This paper is due tomorrow, so once that’s out of my hair, I’ll be feeling a lot better.  I still have one paper a final, plus all my grading to do, but hopefully I’ll be able to get that done more easily than this paper (it’s giving me a rough time!).

MRC weight:  174

Okay, enough ranting– on the bright side, I was down to 170 on the home scale this morning.  I’m getting really excited to get into the 160s at home.  Today was as low as it’s ever been, but I’m expecting it to be up a bit tomorrow morning.  I have drank a lot of water today, though, so it might go down since that will make me hold less water.  Also, I tried on my size 10s today….and they fit!  They’re more snug, of course, than my 12s, but those are a bit baggy, and the 10s look good.  There’s one pair of stretch ones that I don’t think are quite good yet, but the others are great, so time to bag up some more jeans.  Yea!!

I’m excited to go home at Christmas looking so much thinner because I haven’t seen some of my extended family since last Christmas.  Plus, I’ll look good in all the photos for a change.  I actually like seeing photos of myself now because I look thinner in them than I think I look in the mirror.  It’s funny how photos tell you the true story, whether good or bad.  Okay, off to get a snack (at least this time it’s because I’m hungry!)

Yesterday I had lunch with my dad at a restaurant.  I had shrimp caesar salad, and it came with a pita topped with mozzarella cheese, which I ate.  Still, it could have been much worse.  I went to WI yesterday, and I was up 1/2 lb.  However, I also drank 32 oz. on the way back home (I went straight from there to WI), and I definitely did not get all that out of my system, so it could totally have been actual water, so I’m not too bummed about that.

I made an appointment with a personal trainer for Wednesday.  It’s free at the gym where my husband works (he works for a company that has a gym there, not in the actual gym), so I thought that would be a good way to get started again.  I think I’m going to start lifting weights.  There’s enough fat off me now that you could actually tell if I toned up some muscle!  I’m also going to start the couch to 5K plan from www.coolrunning.com even though I really hate running.  I’ve looked at it, and it does seem doable because it starts so slow.  I will have a week’s interruption in there when I go home for the holidays, but it will be in the second week, so if I need to I can always just repeat week one– it’s still exercise, afterall.

On another topic– I had a moral victory in the clothing department.  I have NEVER been able to shop at Charlotte Russe before.  I’ve bought a couple of skirts that fit because my hips are much smaller by comparison than the top half, but I’ve never been able to wear a shirt from there.  Well, yesterday after lunch with my dad, I decided to stop at the mall (bigger city, bigger mall), and I went in on a whim just to check out what I might be able to buy in the future.  They were having a huge clearance sale, so I decided to pick out a few things just to try.  Well, I ended up with about two armloads, and guess what?  EVERYTHING fit– I mean EVERYTHING.  It was a size L, but I could even wear the fitted stuff without a problem.  I ended up spending $100– I got about 10 tops, though, so they were pretty good deals.  I think once I reach my goal I’ll be a size M there, which would be really cool.  I really like some of their clothes.  They’re a bit more stylish than Old Navy.  However, I think I need to be careful not to get too “stylish” since I’m not as young as I used to be (I’m 24), and some of that stuff is very teenager-ish.

Anyhow, I’m really excited to wear some of my new clothes, but unfortunately I’m stuck in the house writing papers for the next week.  In fact, that’s exactly what I should be doing now, so I will hurry up and add my weight and post.  It’s been staying the same, but I had a 6 lb. loss last week, and I’m not eating all that well.  Exercising will give me a jump start, and next week I plan to do metaquick again since I haven’t done it this month yet.

Weight at home:  172