The journey from fat to fit. Road trip, woo hoo!

UPDATE: I did manage to get in 15 minutes of cardio and another 15 of crunches and pushups.  And another bottle of water.  That counts for something, right? 

I totally blew my food plan tonight.  For dinner I had a BIG slice of Papa Murphy’s take and bake stuffed pizza, not sure what kind it is but full of sausage, pepperoni, ground meat and mounds and mounds of cheese.  It was freaking delicious.  Sorry.  It’s true.  It was. 

DH picked up the pizza Saturday when I asked him to prepare dinner for the kids.  He went to Papa Murphy’s and got a hawaiian pizza.  Perfect, I hate hawaiian pizza.  I ate my JC meal while the fam had pizza and all was right with the world.  DH even picked up a really nice salad while he was at PM’s so, yay, lagniappe. 

Fast forward to later Saturday night, I open the fridge and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a GIGANTIC stuffed pizza looking ever so delicious sitting in my fridge.  “Hon, WTF is this?”  Oh, it was a two-fer.

So the pizza sat there Sunday and Monday uncooked while I stuck to my food plan.  Tonight was do or die, it either had to be cooked or frozen.  I could not fit the sucker into the freezer (I swear I tried), so I threw it in the oven.  It cooked and I am thinking “Oh my God, why doesn’t Yankee candle have a pizza scented candle?  I would so buy that.”  Even though the smell had me salivating, I got out my JC meal (which was looking less and less attractive by the moment).  I was going to pop my meal into the microwave when the oven timer rang.

I took the pizza out of the oven, looked at my healthy meal and said *F it*, and had a big fat slice of pizza heaven.  Halfway through the pizza the self-loathing set in, but it wasn’t quite enough to stop me from polishing the sucker off.

The good news: I did not go back for a second slice.  I did not eat the leftovers on princess’ dinner plate (what kind of kid doesn’t eat the cheese?). 

I did a 20-minute yoga DVD workout today, and now I’m going to go do 20 minutes on my bosu ball along with crunches and pushups. 

Why oh why do I do this kind of shit to myself?

Breakfast: Reduced sugar oatmeal

Snack: JC peanutbutter bar

Lunch: JC turkey gumbo, 1 sliced cucumber w/balsamic vinegar, a bottle of water, a can of DC

Dinner: A jumbo-sized slice of Papa Murphy’s stuffed “meat lovers” style pizza, a bottle of water and a can of DC… I am such a loser.

Exercise: 20 minute beginner yoga DVD with focus on “core”

I have been doing really well with my food control, so I am trying to focus this week on upping my water intake and getting more exercise in.  I’m trying two new things to get this done.

RE: water, my JC counselor gave me a great tip: have a bottle (or glass) of water with every meal.  I know, sounds simple, right?  Problem is, I love diet coke.  LOVE it.  NEED it.  COVET it.  CRAVE it. CANNOT LIVE without it.  How pathetic is that?  But, hey, I don’t smoke or kick puppies, so as far as vices go, I’d say DC is a pretty harmless one.  On my health quest I have limited myself to two cans per day.  One with lunch and one with dinner.  Theoretically, that means I’d be drinking lots of water during the day.  But in reality, I’m not.  I am hardly drinking anything during the day, and by the time I sit down for lunch or dinner I am tweaking for my DC!

So new plan: a bottle of water with each meal.  After the water, then the diet coke.  I instituted this rule Sunday and stuck with it Sunday and Monday without exception, so that equals six bottles of water that I otherwise would not have gotten in.  The only drawback so far is that I have to pee all the time.  Other than that, it’s all good.

Now RE: exercise.  Here’s another of my pathetic dirty little secrets, another vice: General Hospital.  I love General Hospital.  I am a smart, sophsticated, college-educated, well-spoken, employed and contributing member of society.  So sue me if I need to watch my soap every day.  I Tivo it and watch it in the evenings after all of my familial responsibilities have been somewhat tended to.  I don’t watch much television, so I think, again, as far as vices go, it’s not too bad (DH would tend to disagree but sometimes I think that man has no soul).  I have watched this show since junior high school.  I know it’s lame, but there’s just something comforting and feel goodish about watching it which transcends the television entertainment value (which I acknowledge is somewhat low).

ANYHOO… back to exercise.  I have made a vow that I will spend at least 20 minutes of my GH time exercising as opposed to sprawling on my bed.  I started this rule last week and stuck to it probably 3 days out of 5.  This week I am going to actually track my exercise time, and my goal is 5/5. 

Today I set my egg timer and did “compressions” on the bosu ball for 15 minutes.  Then I reset it and did 5 minutes of crunches.  One more reset for 5 minutes of pushups (on the yoga ball).  Combine that with the three flights up and three flights down that I had to climb for work today toting my 30 pounds of equipment plus my aimless meandering through the grocery store looking for Bratz fruit snacks (why can I never find the f*ing fruit snacks?) and I think I did a decent amount of exercise.

I read recently that the goal should be 30 minutes of exercise on most days.  And also that three 10-minute sessions is just as effective as 30 minutes all at once.  So that’s what I’m shooting for, a total of 30 minutes per day, exercising more days than not.

So, that’s my plan.  Wish me luck.

PS: The fruit snacks were for my 9-year-old princess.  I HATE fruity stuff.  If I were going to splurge on a treat, believe me, it would be coated in chocolately goodness and have no gummi characteristics : )

I am 5′1″.  That’s pretty short.  I don’t have a stocky build.  I have the potential to be tiny (again).  I started struggling with my weight in grade school, but I was never obese.  I fluctuated between tiny and normal/slightly chubby.  I was small all through high school, junior size 5 max, fluctuating down to 3’s at times.  I got married at age 19 in a size 5 wedding dress.  I had my first daughter at age 22.  I don’t remember my exact weight, but I was probably 125 lb when I got pregnant.  I was severely nauseaus for the entire pregnancy and I do remember my exact pregnancy weight gain: zero pounds!  I lost 12 pounds in the first trimester from nauseau then gained the 12 back.  I was in a junior size 7 jeans when my daughter was a week old.  I had another baby 17 months later.  Again, I don’t have exact recall on my weight, but I probably maxed out at 135-140 lb.  I lost the weight after his birth in 1988 pretty quickly and maintained at a size 7 for a few years, slowly floating up to a junior size 9 and then 11.

Fast forward to 1997.  I was divorced from my “starter” husband.  My weight was 135 lb, about a size 8-10 misses.  I started working out with a trainer and got down to 123 lb, size 6.  This was the best I ever looked in my freaking life.  I looked great, so toned.  Downside though is that it was A LOT OF WORK and I couldn’t maintain it.

I married my “real” husband in ‘98.  My weight was 128 lb and my wedding dress was a size 8.  I looked great and was happy.  I got pregnant ON THE HONEYMOON (I shit you not) at age 32.  Uneventful pregnancy, weight gain up to 150.  I have never gone below 150 since then.  After I had the princess, I felt like I lost the baby weight, I felt good, but I was 150 lb.  I was in a consistent size 10-12 misses clothing, and happy with it.  I worked out sporadically and felt comfortable in my body even though it was not the same body I went into this new marriage with.

In 2000 I had a hysterectomy.  Things started going downhill from there.  My weight started to creep up, slowly and unnoticeably, until one day I got on a scale and weighed 178 lb!  Oh my god, that’s almost 200 lb!  I started exercising more consistently but stayed at 175-178 lb.  I got discouraged and adopted the attitude of “I’m already fat, one more piece of cake isn’t going to make a damn bit of difference” and ended up nine weeks ago in a Jenny Craig Centre on a complete impulse/whim/desperate grab for help.  My first weigh-in was 184.6 lbs.

I started JC the week before Thanksgiving because reality was setting in and the reality was that I could VERY EASILY and MORE LIKELY THAN NOT WOULD put on a good 10 lb over the holidays with my out of control eating.  I wanted to make a preemptive strike.  The holiday weight could have easily put me over 200 lb, and at 5′1″ that is more than this frame of mine could handle.  I was already dealing with aching knees, back pain, sore joints, sorevfeet, problems walking first thing in the morning, problems walking any time of day for any significant distance, shortness of breath with one flight of stairs, complete loss of sex drive because god forbid my husband see my body (because with my clothes on he doesn’t know I’m fat, right?).

I have decided to adopt a completely new outlook on how I deal with food and exercise.  I’m using JC foods, but am trying to use them as a tool vs. a crutch.  I love the convenience of the prepackaged meals, but know that in reality I cannot eat them forever.  I try to sit down with every meal and learn from it — this is what a healthy portion looks like (even though it’s usually about 1/8 of what I would normally have put on my own plate).  When I eat at a restaurant or have a “meal on my own,” I try to apply that new insight, and it’s working for me so far.  It’s been nine weeks and I’ve lost 14 lbs. 

14 lbs is the tip of the iceburg for me.  My goal is 35 lbs to get down to 150.  I should really call that my first goal.  I know that in reality 150 lb is still too heavy for me.  It was my pregnancy weight for god’s sake.  But the JC counselors really stress the importance of being realistic and setting achievable goals, and I think that 150 is something I CAN do.  What I ultimately WANT to do is return to 128 lb.  But I’ll deal with that AFTER I hit the 150 mark.

I am making a huge effort to move my ass in a healthy way every day, either taking a walk, using the bosu ball, doing a DVD or playing DDR with the princess.  So far it still feels like an EFFORT instead of a natural part of the day.  My goal is for it to be a seamless part of my life… not there yet but working on it.

So, that’s where I came from and that’s where I’m going.  There’s something very cathartic about getting it out.

Breakfast: “Weight Control” Quaker Oats instant oatmeal, bottle of water.

Snack: JC peanut butter bar.

Lunch: JC rottini w/meatballs, low-fat sugar-free jello pudding, banana, bottle of water, can of diet coke.

Dinner: JC chicken fettucini, one sliced red pepper in JC vinagrette, one bottle of water and a can of diet coke.

Dessert: JC triple chocolate cheesecake.  And I’m done for the night… woo hoo

Today is Sunday and I totally strayed from my JC food plan.  I had a JC breakfast, pancakes/sausage and a bottle of water.  Went to church, where my little Princess bumpkin sang in the choir, cute as can be.  Church was over at 12:15, by the time we finished socializing and getting Princess packed off with a friend for a play date and sleepover, it was 1:00 and DH wanted to go to brunch.  I wasn’t starving, so I thought that would be a great time to go to brunch, while I’m not starving and less likely to binge.  Brunch was delicious and I loaded up on salad and fruits, but still managed to have two servings of salmon, some sauteed scallops, a tiny bit of potatos au grautin and a scoop of bread pudding.  DH and I took advantage of the sunshine and the fact that Princess was gone for the day and went on a long walk, about 2 miles, which was really nice.  Came home and had a cat nap then went to see Cloverfield tonight.  I liked it, DH was unimpressed, said the wobbly camera was going to give him a seizure, which I thought was pretty funny : )  I had a pretzel and diet coke at the movie theatre, and am calling that dinner. 

So all in all, not a great day for JC food plan, but I feel like my splurges were pretty well controlled.  I’ve been on JC for nine weeks and this is only the second time that I’ve really gone off plan for a whole day.  In the nine weeks I have lost every week, so I hope to continue that trend.  In my mind I am justifying the food splurge by saying it was offset by the extra exercise.  But in reality, I should have stayed on plan PLUS gotten the exercise to help push myself to meeting my second mini-goal.  My first mini-goal was 10 lb by Christmas, and I made it.  My second was to lost 20 lb total by Feb. 2 (we have a formal event to attend) and I’m kind of off track for meeting that goal since Feb. 2 is now 13 days away and I’ve got six pounds to go.  I VOW TO HAVE A GOOD WEEK THIS WEEK… staying on my food plan, getting extra exercise and drinking at least four bottles of water per day.  Now that I have officially VOWED it, I have to do it, right?