Victim of Vanity
July 15th, 2008
OK, so I might have mentioned that I have to wear my glasses, no contacts, until my LASIK surgery on Thursday. Maybe I mentioned that? Haha. Well, with that being the No. 1 worst thing about getting LASIK, the No. 2 worst thing is no eye makeup for a week afterwards. Hello? WTF is up with that? I’ve been wearing mascara for eleventy million years and haven’t poked myself in the eye yet. But I digress.
Being the vain creature that I am, I decided to have my eyelashes tinted. What a great idea? Well, OMFG, let me tell you, I think the eyelash tinting gal mistakenly thought I wanted my irises tinted, because that shit was all in my eyes and burned like a mo fo. She kept reassuring me that it couldn’t damage my eyes, because it was vegetable based. Well, I am here to tell you DO NOT STICK VEGETABLE JUICE in your eyes, because it burns like a bitch.
The upside of course is that my lashes are now lush and black and look fab.
While she was tinting, I also had my eyebrows waxed. My brows and lashes are both blonde. I am fair with light hair and freckles. See a trend here? Tint gal says, hey, want me to put a little color on your brows while you are here? Sure, great! is my response.
Little did I suspect she would use the same BLACK AS COAL tint from my lashes on my brows. WTF????
So… here you go, me in all my zero makeup, f-ed up glasses glory.
PS. Brooke Shields called from 1983 and wants her brows back. Thanks. 
On the ISN’T THAT IRONIC front… DD9 and I get all geared up to ride bikes to VBS and, voila, her tire is flat. Not just flat, punctured. Hmmmm. Suspicious. Thank God I know that she can’t get into the garage in the middle of the night without my knowing it or I might think she did it. But the flat tire explains the whining on the last two bike rides if it has been losing air.
Anyway, took her to VBS in the car, then took her bike to the bike shop and they wanted $40 to put new tires and tubes on a bike that cost me $10 at a garage sale in 1999 for DD15. Um, no thanks. Went to walmart and got DD9 a new bike for $66, took it to VBS and chained it up. When I show up at pick up time on my bike, she’s going to be very confused, and when she sees she has a new bike, she’s going to freak! And the plus side is, the ride home is a mile and a half downhill, so she’s going to hopefully recpature her love of bike riding.
So, that’s all for now. Me and my eyebrows are taking DD15 and DS19 out to lunch as a reward for helping do all of the housecleaning (grandpa is coming to visit for a week). They had the option of help clean or leave the house, and I was not paying for help either. They both stayed voluntarily, both put forth good effort and so out for Thai food as a reward. I may seem to be making a big deal about the fact that two able-bodies young adults helped do chores, but these two are the laziest humans ever conceived, I promise you, it’s a big deal that they helped voluntarily, did good work and had good attitudes. Something is probably really terribly wrong that they have not told me about yet.
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