I just want to look good naked . . .

129 today.  Down 3 from last week.  Not sure how accurate last weeks was though.  Nice to see it dip below 130 and feel like it’s more accurate.  I like this not measuring every day stuff.

Sure, I’m a dude…but I’m still emotional.  Not in the tears-spring-forward-at-the-mention-of-diamonds-roses-puppies-or-true-love sense.   But more in the I-do-care-about-what’s-happening-around-me-and-sometimes-its-all-too-much sense.

Pre-PS…I don’t expect anyone to read, or agree with this.  I just gotta get it out in a somewhat anonymous way.  Not that I don’t want to talk about this as myself…because I do…and will. I’m quite outspoken.  I just need to vent.  (exhale)

It’s sometimes difficult to keep things in the proper priority perspecive.  I want to lose weight.  i want to exercise everyday and eat fewer and better-for-me calories everyday.  I _think_ I’m doing ok there.  I mean, I skipped 1 day this week due to putting in a few 16 hour days at work.  The days surrounding that skipped day were sub-standard.  This morning…a good workout.  But…other things are on my mind!

I believe that our world is under attack, and that it’s losing.  Our morals are being challenged, and it really doesn’t seem like anyone is challenging back.  The whole idea of Political Correctness (gag) is now a part of our family lives and our children know it.  Listening to some radio shows this week, I couldn’t help but get the eerie feeling that in this world…some parents are no longer raising children.  The Children are the ones doing the raising!  The Children tell the parents what’s right and wrong…and how to handle all moral decisions.  Parents are becoming afraid of their kids!

Dear Parents:

1)  It’s ok to tell your kids “No!”

2)  It’s good and right for you to teach them what you believe, and expect them believe it while they’re young.

3)  No, your kid does NOT get to choose what is right for him.

4)  Your child does not understand sexuality at age 5, 6, 7, 8 etc.  YOU need to teach him (in age appropriate terms) what it means, and what is good and right.

5)  It’s OK to teach your child that what someone else is doing is not a good thing to do.

6) Being tollerant does not mean celebrating doing-whatever-anyone-wants-to-do, and it’s ok for you to actually say that to you child.  (yes…with actual words…from your actual mouth.)

7)  I dare you to take a stand on a moral issue with your kids.  Don’t want them playing Grand Theft Auto!?  (”Gasp!  But all his friends play it…I just COULDN’T take that away…even though I don’t really want him playing it.)

8)  Adults are not morons.  Watch any Disney Channel show…  The kids are the wise ones, and every adult is a complete idiot.  Kids advise their (usually divorced) parents on all issues.  Love, Money, Business etc.

9)  It’s ok to take a stand on issues that cross political and moral lines.  Don’t agree with something?  Say something about it, and say it to your kids!

10)  Your kids are waaaaay more savvy than you think.    Do I think my kids head is not getting filled at school with Same-Sex agenda propaganda, political correctness, and the idea that thinking that God MAY have had something to do with the worlds creation is wrong??  You bet I do…  And I go to lengths to teach him what is true, and what is not.

11)  Why is it that what I consider the MOST self-evident truth in the universe is no longer clear.  Some people are girls, and some people are boys.  They don’t get to choose.

I could go on… I do go on…

With all of THIS going on in the world…I sometimes find it hard to focus on anything else?

Thanks…I need to get that off my chest.

Weight is going up.  I’m won’t weigh my self every day anymore.  That’s torture.  Friday mornings only.  Same time, same situation.  Worked out, haven’t eaten breakfast etc.

I thought I might be past the euphoria of starting a few workout/diet plan.  It’s confirmed.  This sucks.

I’m settling into my goal now I think.  1 lb per week.  The euphoria of starting has gone, and I’m seeing how much work I have ahead of me.  This is usually where I start to make excuses.  “I’m so tired this morning, I’ll work out tonight (which never works.)  I tried that one this morning…but my wife talked me into getting up.

Working out was HARD this morning.  I had no energy.  I tried doing a Cathe Friedrich boot camp, but couldn’t.  I settled for some nice Crunch Yoga which was tough, but not as high impact.  I’m glad I changed it up.  Tomorrow, weights and some cardio.  Phew…

Scale at 230.4 today.  So down 9.6 lbs from Aug 1.  10 will be a nice milestone.

Lately, I’ve been looking at this picture every few days:

Dude…check that out.  It’s me 14 years ago.  I was on tour with a Drum Corps (dci.org).  I think I lost every bit of fat possible.  I probably weighed 190 then…  So that was about 50 lbs ago!  That’s nearly a 20% addition to my bodily area.  Honestly..sometimes I can’t believe this is me.  But it is and I want to look like this again.  Granted, 14 years is still 14 years.  I was a kid then (18).  I realize that bodies change. Maybe I can’t get back to this, but it’s what I’ll try for.  I mean, we were working hard in the sun ever day for 12-14 hours for 2 months.  Fugettaboudid.

Today the scale said 229.8.  I know it can fluxuate from day to day, but it’s nice to see it dipping below 230.  LIke I said before 219 is the lowest I’ve been in recent memory.

Commmeee ooonnnn Me….you can do it!

Did some nice core stuff with the video today.  Crunches and planks and whatever.  Then 30 mins on the elliptical.  I’m doing an all day photo shoot tomorrow, and it’s supposed to rain/snow.  High of 37.  Should be a wicked adventure.  I’ll be sure to work out before so I don’t get too tired and not do it after.

My wife and I got some Cathe Frederick videos.  We always liked her workouts on FitTV when we had it.  So we did weights with Cathe today.  That’s the kinda stuff I just can’t do without a coach (or video.)I’m feeling it in my armitures today.

Also, tried some Special K protien water mix yesterday.  After lunch I sipped it for a few hours.  It did a great tob taking the edge off the hunger.  Actually, it’s not hunger but more like…the habit of food.  Anyway, I did fine until dinner and ate one serving.  Perfect.

Scale says down 1.2 from yesterday (so down .2 from two days ago…which seems about right.)  I’m settling into a goal of 1lb loss per week.  I think that’s reasonable.

Workouts have been going pretty good.  Did a hard hour ot mountain biking today with some dudes from work.   Yesterday, 45 mins on the elliptical followed by 17 puships.  (I could only do 5 when I started working out.)

Dinner seems to be the problem.  I over eat because I anticipate it so much.   Maybe I need to do better at lunch.  I don’t know.

Stupid scale had me +1 today from a few days ago.  I should really just weigh in once a week.  If I lose a pound or two over one or two weeks, I’ll be happy.  Measuring every day seems like a mistake.

Anyone ever try any of those apetite curbing herbs?  Hoodia or whatever?  Seems like nothing could make me not want to eat.

So, I’m at 232.6 according to the costco scale.  The lowest I’ve been since college is 219.  At 210, I’ll hit the tanning beds to start th looking good naked part.  Seems so far away.

To be honest, it could actually be 828461982719828 if you count that I didn’t eat a second funnel cake at Disneyland, but it only lasted about 15 minutes before I caved…so, I’m sticking with 828461982719827.   

I’m not sure if I’m even allowed to have a weblog here.  I’m not a chick.  But I think I’m as fat as 3 chicks so….

Anyway, I’m a dude who is trying to lose weight.  I didn’t want this on my usual weblog because who wants to read my sob story there?  No one.   So…I’ll just vent a bit.

I hate dieting and exercising and I love food.  But…I want to look good naked.  Bad combo.  I don’t believe that anything buy myself can make me lose wieght.  Man, that didn’t come out right.  What I mean is…I don’t think fad diets will do it.  Pills, herbs etc.  They’re not my answer.  Food in moderation and exercise regularly are the only way that makes sense to me.  I just can’t keep with it.  I’ve tried everything I know to motivate myself to do it.  Rewards..once I took a bet with my wife to see who could lose the most weight in a summer.  I lost 19 lbs!  Our reward was $500 for anything we wanted…but when it came down to it, she didn’t want me to spend the money.  Pissed off, I quit exercising.  Lack of marital intimacy has been a motivating factor more than once.  ”If I looked better, maybe she’d be more interested in me.”  No.  No and No.  From what I can tell, there is no correlation between my physical looks, and our private times.  I could be wrong, but understanding this is way beyond me right now, so I’m ignoring this.

This time, I’m just so flipping sick of feeling fat, hating pants, and looking so pudgy.  

My goal is to lose 45 lbs.   I started at 240 (this time), and I want to weight 195.  Right now, I’m sitting at 232.  Feeling good about those 8, but thinking it’s probably more like 5.  I remember in college (I’m 32) feeling that if I EVER got to 220, I’d DO something about it.  Well, I hit 240 a while back, and it really pissed me off. 

Anyway..  I’m eating less, but trying not to skip meals.  Slim fast does it for breakfast, and keeps me from snacking most of the time.  I find that I’m HUNGRY at dinner, so I’m trying to have a few more snacks between lunch and dinner.  Apples, etc.  

I work out about 45 mins a day.  Mountain biking 1x/week.  Elliptical and pushups most other days.  Weights once in a while.  We’ll see if I can stick with it.  

One thing…  I enjoy tanning.  it’s relaxing and feels good to me…and helps me feel good naked.  My reward this time is..when I get to 210, I’ll start going tanning once or twice a week…  just for me.  A little secret.  I’ll lie to anyone that confronts me about it.