Changing my Life through Accu-weight Loss

GAH!

So bad! I think I’ve gained a few more. Well this is the last straw. My boyfriend was over again for a week and my diet went out the window, and i think I gained a few. I also found out he has a gallstone because he was in severe pain tuesday night and I had to take him to the hospital across the street. Looks like we’re both on diets, except he’s miserable about his - nonfat, no spices - until he gets the surgery he’s giogn to have to do that to avoid any more pain. So.. yeah it’s been bad, I did start back up yesterday though. Made it through.

I keep reminding myself that my birthday is coming up and I at least want to get back down to my lowest before I gained a few. I didn’t have a flat stoamch or anything but people considered me average-thin. Anyway, I’ve been struggling to say the least, I need to get over that week-long threshold.
My birthday is December 11 but I’m going to throw a get-to-gether around the 5th or 6th, so that’s over 30 days.. I think I could lose 20.. it should be fairly easy to lose the last few pounds I gained since it generally is easier to take off weight you just gained. so.. 20 before 20 lol, I keep reminding myself that it’s not a big deal and I can do it. It’s just food. that’s all. Food. I can handle it.

I have a test today and I’m voting as well, I’m really excited. The school is having an election party but I’m not going because there will be food and it’s too early for me to resist food especially if who I want gets elected. Tomorrow is a potluck for the floor and I said I’d cook chicken parmesan, my RA is supplying most of what we need… I only want to go for poitns and to be social, I was talking to a friend on the floor and she was just like well you can do it, just don’t eat… and it’s so simple really.. but I must do so. I want to socialize.. I guess I might just have to take small tastes or whatever for the chicken to see if it’s okay and I’ll go to the potluck and we’re supposed to be having a discussion on our spirituality or morals or whatever, which is interesting. I’ll have to avoid the food. There’s going to be brownies though. Not a lot of people are cooking and sof ar it sounds like I’m making the most complicated dish.. so I doubt I’ll want to eat what everyone else is eating.. if I do end up cheating which I cshouldn’t, I’ll make sure to eat small bites just to feel social. I might just take a few on a plate and leave it on there while we talk and take a small bite or something so I don’t feel out of place.. hmm.. the won’t be tempting anyway from what it sounds like. I’ll be sure to just not take any brownies on my plate.
I MUST do this.

I was looking at pictures of myself before I gained and I’d be happy to get back there before my birthday, because there were a few skirts and dresses I could wear, particularly one dress which fit me pretty well, though it would still fit if I lose some weight. It’s an empire-waisted 3-quarter dress, so it’s very flowy and hugs by the calves with ruffles, so it’s really cute and it’ll fit even when I lose a bit more. I want to wear that on my birthday, so I’m going to make sure I stick with it. I don’t want to take pictures of myself on my birthday and be unhappy with the pictures! That’s another thing, I want to take tons of pictures, I want to be back to 144/145 at least. I’m going to start working out this weekend when I go home on the treadmill. My goal is 4 times a week.

I’ll do this, I swear! I can’t bear to see myself gain anymore, this is the last straw!
Anyway, I’ll update tomorrow night.