Changing my Life through Accu-weight Loss

cheating!
I cheated last night. I came home.. and my mom cooked beef.. so I had some with rice and some other food.

and then today I had a few twizzlers.. messing up my whole day!
Of course I’m not going to let it turn into a binge.. I’m going to fill up on water today..
I’m going to buy a sportsbra later, so I’m going to try and work out tomorrow..
I have.. 6 more days til I see Myles. I want to get least get it under control.. and lose the water weight that I gained from the cheats (ugh my stomach is so bloated).
My plan of attack? Work out on the treadmill at home tomorrow.. since I’m going back tomorrow night..
I’ll get up around 10.. drink water.. and then workout… since I’m still kinda weak (willpower-wise), I’m going to try and stay away from the kitchen lol..
Umm.. then Monday.. I have class at 2:30 and I try not to wake up later than 10 b/c then I feel like crpa.. so I’ll wake up around 9:30.. drink water.. stretch.. and then head to the gym for about an hour.. I should be back by 11:30… shower.. eat.. and then class. I think that’ll be a good way to avoid all the eating I’ve been doing out of boredom as well.
Tuesday.. I have class from 10-11:20 and then 2:30 - 3:50..
I’m thinking about stretching.. bringing my gym stuff with me to my first class.. then then walking directly to the gym after… this way I could be done by 12:30 and have time to shower before my second class.
Since I cheated.. I’m going to do two more milk days on Sunday and Monday so tuesday will be a f/v day. I figure I could have a V8 and mix it up with the bagged salad I bought.
Since I’m not too far from my goal, I just need to focus the rest of the way.. and I’m going to look at it differently now.. these little cheats are just killing me now.. so I’m going to tell myself that yes I can eat that, but I’d rather eat it guilt-free and thinner.. I have to keep my goal in mind, and remind myself of all the shopping I want to do but can’t b/c I refuse to until I get to goal. I gotta just remember how strict this diet is and that any little cheat will slow me down, and I could ALWAYS eat whatever I want to eat after my diet.. it isn’t for life.
I’m sure once I start working out and get busier with school, I won’t want to cheat as much, b/c it’s mostly been out of boredom and even when I was younger it was always out of boredom.

So that is my plan. I NEED to update this everyday at least for these following few days b/c I need to keep myself accountable. I can do this.. I cheated but that doesn’t mean I can’t pick up where I left off and get to goal.. if I could lose all this weight with the cheats, I can certainly lose another 15.. (I say 15 b/c I don’t know what my weight really is, I know I’ve gained water weight for sure). Once I get back on track, it always gets easier to continue.. this past week I was on track but I kept eating cheese (lol my downfall is always cheese or chocolate) and of course I didn’t lose.. I shouldn’t be surprised at that, I KNEW that I wouldn’t lose but I was still disappointed.
If I don’t want to be disappointed again, all I have to do is what I already did before! Just stick to the plan! It’s a simple plan really. It’s not that I feel hungry or anything. I just need to re-focus.. I’ve accepted that any diet is a struggle, but the hardest part is always getting back on track once you’ve gone off of it.. so these few days are very critical. And like I said, we have that double-date on Saturday (eek! one week!) and we’ll end up eating later than I’m allowed but I plan on controlling this cheat b/c it is PLANNED unlike my other ones.. so I’m going to just fill up on water the whole day, and then get a salad with maybe grilled chicken but nothing heavier than that.. When I cheat with heavier, richer foods, it’s always harder to get back on track.. but when it’s something small like grilled chicken, I can always get on track.

Okay, there’s my plan. Today I’m going to drink water the rest of the day.. still massage my beads.. and prepare myself mentally tomorrow for going back on track!

ANND.. I WILL reward myself with that perfume, I’ve decided I’ll order it when I get into my 130’s, b/c it seems that getting out of the 140’s has been such a struggle and it’ll be amazing to get into the 130’s. It’ll be a VERY very nice reward.. and once I’m in the 130’s, I won’t feel as much pressure about how much I’ll have to lose.. being in the 130’s will make it easier b/c whenever I see how close I am to something, I can always push forward enough to reach it.. like on the treadmill.. if I feel like giving up but I see I have 10 minutes left, it’s kinda like, c’mon.. I can do another 10 minutes, that’s nothing!  That’s like how it’ll be. I gotta stop telling myself “no cheats” either b/c though I know I shouldn’t cheat, everytime I tell myself I will NOT cheat, it backfires and it makes me feel like a failure.. I’ve gotta just keep in mind that I’ve got to just continue on despite any obstacles, as with anything in life, it doesn’t mean I can’t do it. I just got to work harder. I’m going to take it easy today.. if I eat anything else.. I’m going to enjoy it. I’ll at least finish any “cheating” before 6 or 8ish.. and filll up on water the rest of the night.. then tomorrow is a fresh new day for me to begin again.

It feels great to write about all this b/c it’s helped me organize myself in terms of the dieting.. it’s all mental anyway so getting myself prepared and organized through here is really helpful. I’ll update tomorrow on my workout!