Changing my Life through Accu-weight Loss

Tiiired.. I hate commuting to Rutgers..  it takes so long on the bus, it is only a 20-30 minute drive, but altogether, I spend about an 1 1/2 hours one way…
Meh, I wouldn’t mind as much if I didn’t have to do it 4 days a week and then have to come home and scramble to do homework, relax, and talk to my boyfriend. It’s okay though, there’s not a lot of work tonight, and I can do a lot of the reading for Rock Music and Culture on the bus or during the 1 hour I have between classes.  Also, since we have that whole book due next Monday for History of Race and Ethnicity, I’m going to spend time on the bus reading it, even if I just read for half-an-hour during the bus rides, each direction, I can get an hour done and then on Thursday n Friday, I won’t feel as stressed to have to read this.

Anyway.. So.. I came home around 5:20 today and immediately sliced up a plum and downed a glass of V8.  For tomorrow, I’m going to bring this cute flowery lunch bag I bought for my mom before (It looks like a bag more than a lunch bag) and I’m going to bring one of those freezer packs so I can carry around a bottle of milk. It is too expensive to keep buying a cup of milk from Rutgers, plus, we have too much milk right now, so gotta drink it down! I think I will keep it simple and just shake up some vanilla extract n splenda into some milk..
I will say, today was tiring and stressful and I wanted to eat maany times. There is food everywhere and people eating all the time, especially on the bus. Buut.. I look at myself and know that it isn’t worth it because I still have around 25 more lbs to lose and I REALLY want that over a dumb craving. I got my haircut on Friday… it is a cute length, I asked her to just trim it b/c I want to grow my layers out n I just need the split ends cut off. Well.. It is frustrating.. I wake up at 6, I shower, and I used this product she recommended to me to moisturize.. called Alter Ego.. WOW that stuff is amazing. I’ve always had dry hair and.. well wow. Okay.. as much as I say wow, I woke up and dried my hair, but it didn’t dry all the way and even though I gave it over an hour, it still didn’t and my hair felt very soft but I still need to straighten it.. annnd.. when I straighten it at that time, I noticed my hair gets very frizzy and disgusting later.. but I didn’t have time.. so I did it anyway and that’s what happened.
So.. I’m going to take another shower.. shampoo again.. and from now on I’m going to shower at nights, as much as I love to shower in the morning.. It is time-consuming. I think it is b/c I dry and straighten in the same room, and my room gets humid so my hair doesn’t dry well? I don’t know but it is a hassle and it damages my hair so I need to stop.. Plus, even though I’ve been drying on cool setting, I would rather air dry b/c it is damaging and I’m trying to get off of using the blow dryer b/c I use a straightener too (even though I put on a low of heat resistance stuff)

I didn’t weigh myself today.. yay.. Slowly getting out of that haha, I will weigh in two days…
I’m really exhausted.. but… I need to get my homework over with so I can shower, relax, talk to my boyfriend, sleep.. and wake up an hour later since I’ll shower at night from now on (yay)

Okay, lol, I wanted to weigh today just to see.. but I really promise myself I won’t weigh again til Wednesday!!!
I went down lb though, to 156. So.. it seems I was right.

Food plan - there’s tons of fruits at home.. soo.. I’m going to make a fruit salad.. strawberries, blueberries, mulberries, banana, peaches.. all sliced up. Or.. if my mom finds the second blender she said we had.. I might try this smoothie:

A banana, a couple of strawberries or raspberries, some raspberry syrup and some chocolate syrup and some ice - Blend - It makes a fantastic smoothie.

I could try that.. I don’t have the sugar free rasberry syrup but I do have powdered cocoa and splenda.. (I really need to buy another bottle of Walden Farm’s 0 cal chocolate syrup). As for veggies, I need to dig around, but I still have that bottle of V8 juice that I think I should finish, so I’ll have a cup of that.
Anyway, I have an hour n 20 minutes til I can start eating, so I’m thinking about working out right now just to get it over with, cuz I wanna shower soon anyway.
Update later.

—-

Soo.. instead of just drinkin V8, I did a dish I did before.. I sauteed garlic n onions.. then I added cauliflower n salt. This time though, I mixed up crushed red pepper spice n the taco seasoning up into half a cup of V8 and after most of the cauliflower had been cooked, I added that all and let the cauliflower soak it all up. It was pretty good, actually really good.
Still… I kept having cravings after seeing my mom cook chicken.. so lol I took a bottle of hot sauce n pour a lil on my finger and licked that off =P. Sabotage evaded. I’ve been drinking water but I also had a few sugar-free candies.. no biggie.
Oh, and I did 2 miles on the treadmill.. soo.. tomorrow.. just going to do homework, got to start on Tuesdays hw as well since I’m going to be working out with Svetlana on Tuesday, which means I may not come home til 7…
But we’ll see, I’ll try n do as much work as I can..

Ergh. I had to face my blog. I’m getting tired of counting down the days, so I’m just going to label my days as milk or veggie. Idk why I keep sabotaging myself.. This week I started classes which were great. I followed my diet.. and my weight just wasn’t moving. I did the beads.. I got a little less water intake than usual.. and suddenly on Thursday.. I just told myself.. WHATEVER.. and I went on a huge binge. I had a subway grilled chicken sandwich.. a 12 inch! I didn’t eat it in one sitting, but still I did eat it all and it was MORE than my body has gotten used to eating. I think it was just sitting in the bus for an hour that made me eat even more. It didn’t stop there, I had a small pack of combo’s and a hershey bar. WOW. talk about shock to my system!Needless to say, I felt grossly full when I came home. At the same time, I didn’t care cuz I was getting fed up with my weight not moving, it isn’t normal in this diet. But.. I know the reason has to do with me not placing the beads correctly each time, not getting as much water, and.. the BIGGEST.. is not working out. The weight is going to come off much slower now that I’m smaller, and I stopped working out, plus have not been drinking as much water. But I mean.. see.. my weight WOULD move at least 3lbs each week, but I’ll follow it and then when I see it hasn’t budged, I’ll eat things here and there which just slow the whole process down.. ugh. It’s bad. Buut.. that night, I told myself that I couldn’t keep eating normally, I DEFINITELY don’t want to gain the weight back and I’m not satisfied with my weight enough to go on the month n half transition phase… so the only choice I have is to accept that I cheated, but I must learn not to (I probably WOULD have lost a couple lbs had I not cheated, now it got reset) and just keep moving forward.  It would be a lot easier if I just kept at it.So.. this is what happened.. I ate on Thursday, then the next couple days were milk, and after a “planned” cheat, the doc says to do milk days. So I did, actually, my weight IS going down, b/c it has not gone over 160 even with the cheat, as before it would jump to 162/163. So even with water retention or the weight of the food, my weight stayed under 160. I suspect that my weight loss stalled so much because of that one session of Pilates.. I did A LOT and my muscles were sore for days.. I’m thinking my body needed a lot more time to adjust especially given that I haven’t done strength-training in general in soo long. Now, I know I shouldn’t weigh everyday, and that is another reason why I cheated, even when I did it with the doc I wouldn’t weigh everyday, I would weigh a couple days before the weekly weigh-in sometimes, but mostly I would wait til the weekly weigh, cuz that is the number that mattered. So, I need to be strict with myself. Anyway, today I wanted to weigh myself to test if my body had been losing all along and just needed to “catch up” and well, stupid me, it has. The muscle weariness wore off around Wednesday/Thursday actually.. So.. I really believe that had to do with it. This morning when I weighed, my weight went back to 157.. So that tells me that I’m losing all along, just self-sabotaging myself. Anyway, that day of binging would normally  make it hard to get on track, but when I sat down and thought of all the factors as to WHY my weight wasn’t moving (helped offset the frustration) and my choices (either gain, stop, or move forward).. well it helped me out A LOT! I feel re-motivated. So.. today I walked/jogged over 2 miles on the treadmill.. I had a LOT of energy surprisingly.. It’s funny b/c my thighs really shrank since the last time I was on the treadmill and well it helped me run more! haha..So.. my plan? Given the cheats, I won’t set a deadline b/c that is frustrating especially since I realy can’t predict how much I’ll lose a week now that I’m smaller. Buut.. if I follow it correctly, I know I’ll be at goal between mid-to-end of August and Mid-september. That is good enough. Also, even if I don’t hit goal by September.. I will be extremely happy to just get below my lowest, 148. Hmm.. 148.. is actually only 9 lbs away! That is so do-able. I’m going to increase my workouts to at least 4 times a week. Tuesdays & Thursdays with Svetlana, and then Saturday n Sunday. I can definitely take out an hour for this. So.. here’s to a renewed mini-goal of losing 10 lbs~ If I put my mind to this, and keep to diet, jogging, and water intake.. I could be at 148 in two weeks. I just need to concentrate, yes it sucks being on a restrictive diet but do I want to stop at this weight? No. Do I want to head back the other way and gain? No. Do I want to reach my goal so I can start transition? YES! Yes? Then I need to do this right! Simple as that! 

OMG I’m soo soo stupid.

I know why I wasn’t losing.

I kept my beads on the same spot for more than a week… then yesterday I was like wait.. I should probably move these.. then I felt around for the spot.. stuck em on.. and well.. I lost a lb! I’m so happy.
Not only that.. but also, I am usually relatively active, but the past couple weeks, especially w/ my brother here, I didn’t even go on the treadmill and I barely went out. Today, my summer classes started, n I was at my normal level of activity and did a good amount of walking. So.. that means I should continue losing.
So, finally, I’m down to 157. My goal is to lose another lb by this Wednesday, and then get down to 150 by next wednesday.

Anyway, classes were fun, I LOOOVE Rock Music and Culture, there’s only 6 other kids, the professor is young (and cute I might add.. lol but cmon I have a boyfriend, I mean, its just nice to have a good-looking professor to look at for 2 hours) lol. I made a good impression too. Yay.
Annnnndd.. history of Race and Ethnicity is.. awesome.. it’s SO interesting, but I know it’s going to be a lot of work. I’m glad I paired these two classes together cuz like.. rock music and culture is very fun, informative, but very fun.

Okay, so I’m in dire need of a haircut. I want to get one this friday. My mom said we’ll go cuz she’s staying home n I don’t have classs n she wants  a cut too. My cloooothes.. ahhh! Although I’m not at 150 which is about my lowest, just being in the 150’s is awesome cuz I’m relatively comfortable at this weight. I’m so excited to get below 150!!! I’ve never been that small, except when I was younger and well being at that weight wasn’t healthy n I felt fat.
So.. yeah. woooot. I love my classes, I love my boyfriend (he’s getting an apartment by the end of this month, OH and he’s been keeping to his diet too and he’s been losing, I’m so proud of him!!! He’s never weighed this much and well I’m glad he finally has been able to stick to his diet and eat healthy!) So.. we might not see each other til September.. we could see each other in August if I sneak him in, but…. I’m thinking.. we should wait off.
Cuz, by then, he will get his apartment (omg it’s only 50 extra a month, it’s his friend’s apartment, but he’s moving to NY so yeah) andddd…  I’m going to help in decorate it teehee. Oh man, so.. yeah that’s why, cuz by september, we should have lost a good amount of weight (I should be at my goal.. looking at the dates and stuff, I should reach my goal by early August, but even if I don’t, I still have 4 weeks after that to meet it, and I underestimated the amount of weight I should lose.. I mean, I will start working out soon too so I might be able to lose more each week (although it DOES slow).

Sooo.. that means… that..  I will be in my new dorm with a kitchen, and he will have his apartment next to all these places we can go to, and next to Trinity, not to mention a bunch of people he knows. I mean, it’s very exciting. When we see each other, it’s going to be shocking with all the weight we lost.. lol I hope he likes it.. I mean like.. he loves me when I’m a lil bigger, that is just how he views beauty according to Spain culture too. And not like crazy big but yeah. Lol, I am losing my butt though so that sucks, I need to continue doing Pilates. Idk when I’ll get the time though, but I’m thinking I would do it just twice a week for now cuz classes are tiring.. I”ll do it Thursday after class, and then on Saturday..  and during the week, I will try n work out at the gym.. I’m thinking about not doing so tomorrow though b/c I’m still adjusting.

yaaaay. I’m so happppy. =]

Ugh, what is wrong with me?
Everything was going well.. I sauteed some garlic and cauliflower, then I added some spices and mixed in a lil from this taco seasoning packet into V8 and used it to dip the cauliflower. It was SOOO good.
But.. then.. I was talking to Myles on the landline cuz I left my cell phone at my dad’s.. and idk what came over me, I grabbed a few check mix pieces *the cheesy kind too, I LOVE that* and before you know it, I had a few handfuls.. plus a couple nutrigrain bars!

ugh! I feel like crap.. I just downed a bunch of water.. Man. it was going well. I can’t keep cheating like this and then want to lose weight! I need to stick to it!

I’m mad, but I’m going to drink more water.. and I MIGHT work out tomorrow, but I want to get the bus route down first, so I may start on Tuesday or Wednesday. It’s being home really.. when I start classes and want to fit into clothes that I’m ONLY 10 lbs away from.. it’ll be more motivation, plus working out.

This was bad.. and i only say that because I cheated with those pudding cups and my weight hasn’t shifted for some reason! It’s because of that, and this cheat isn’t helping. I need to TOTALLY STOP. and just follow the diet!

Well.. today I did something stupid.

Okay, so I went to work. It was easy going.. now right behind the workplace is CVS.. during my breaks..  I didn’t really go outside like everyone else cuz I didn’t want to buy coffee from next door and I can’t eat any of the junk there. If it was a milk day, I would have had coffee.. but it was a veggie day. Oh yeah, for some reaosn I can’t find the bag of salad that I brought and put in the fridge!! It’s terrible.. I had to just eat carrots for lunch.. the carrot slices. At least with the salad you know.. oh well it’s okay. I wasn’t hungry, but I ate for the sake of nutrients, if only I had V8 with me today. Anyway, so then…
It was really dumb.. it was like 5:45.. Mark left, it was my dad and I, and I didn’t really take a break like the other girls do so I decided to go to CVS just to take a walk I guess. I called up Myles, he told me about his night last night.. I walked around CVS trying to find some kind of eyeshadow or something I could buy cuz.. well.. I guess vanity has become my replacement for boredom. Better than eating. I coudln’t find anything I needed really, the one thing I wanted was an eyeliner brush which I couldn’t find.. so I decided I wanted sugar-free candy (out of boredom and feeling liek I needed to buy SOMETHING) and so I bought sugar-free hershey chocolate and sugar free gummy bears. UGH. I had a few of the sugar-free chocolates (over my limit of 60 cal of sugarless candy) and a couple gummy bears. WOW.. my head started to hurt. I wasn’t even eating cuz I wanted to..  I didn’t even like.. enjoy eating them. It was bizarre and stupid, I’m going to fill up on water to flush it out.. It’s very stupid cuz I HAVE been trying to cut down on sugarless products cuz this diet isn’t very long and I can slowly start having sugar again (though probably, I will resort to making my own sweets so I can monitor the intake and avoid the junk they put in candy bars). Seriously, it just made me feel really bad, I know it’s the artificial sweeteners too, they’re not good for you. I’ve been trying to eliminate soda too, my dad has diet ginger ale which I’ll have once in a while, but other than that… the sodium intake that counteracts to retain water is NOT worth it. I know sodium is in a lot we eat, but when you can avoid it why not? It’s like an empty intake of sodium lol..
Anyway, I love seltzer water now, and they come with very slight hints of flavoring.. I could always squeeze a lil lime in there to make it a lil bitter or something

Anyway, I’m back home now, I’m going to check my weight in the morning because with everything I ate, plus the glasses of water I downed.. yeah.. it would be stupid to check it right now. Even then, maybe I should stop weighing everyday and go once a week? I mean, I can see and feel myself losing, and if I follow it correctly, then I shouldn’t worry about not losing. So yeah. I will do that.

I went to work today with my dad at Homehunters, they needed someone today and tomorrow.
It is some extra cash I didn’t have before.
What is really weird is about the scale at my dad’s. I don’t know which to rely on. I feel like I’ve lost another lb or so but yeah… I mean it’s fine, I’m going home tomorrow night so I will use that scale on Sunday  morning to check my weight. Anyway, I used that scale before when I lost weight.. so I think I should just stick with it. Either way, my clothes are fitting me a lot better.
Oh yeah, I can tell that I’m 5 - 10 lbs away from fitting into my skinny jeans again. I tried them on, but it was just around my hips that wouldn’t allow it to further, and I know that will lose.

I wish I could watch the fireworks…
It’s okay.. I’m at my dad’s.. he’s never had anyone over during a holiday even if all we did was work.

So I just realized something..
My dad’s scale tells me I weigh about 7 more lbs than I lost, and this morning, it told me I weighed 163. Now I expect some of it to be from water retention but like.. 5 lbs? That is a big difference. I checked where it started, and it did start at 0. I’m a little confused.. but also I realized that the pudding cups I’ve been eating for about 4 days straight now, have a lot of sodium in it. Now, if I follow this diet like I’m supposed to be doing, there is little room for that much sodium, which explains the slow loss. So now, I’m thinking.. since I finished the rest of them today, that if I just keep drinking water, more than usual, and stay strict with it tomorrow and on, that my weight-loss will go back to normal.. I’m wondering though, if as I drink more and more water, my weight will drop faster in a few days? I know on a regular kytoctic diet, this wouldn’t happen, but on this one.. I wonder.
Although, the doc did say before that cheating slows it down for the week. Hmm.. whatever. I’m just going to continue drinking water and give up on the pudding cups. At least I didn’t cheat by eating real food.. I mean at least I still lost lol.

I did Pilates today. Yes. a whole DVD.. not the one I have at home because I forgot to bring it with me..
I did one I found online that had the whole thing on it.. it’s Katrina Fitness: Ease Into Pilates.
I have to say, I had to take small breaks, but I was determined to do the whole DVD. It will be easier the next time, especially since I haven’t done some of these moves before. It is a beginner DVD.. I did feel it working on me though, especially on my arms and legs. Before that, I just did about 10-15 minutes of stretching and warming up on my own, including jogging in places and jumping jacks (I’m at my dad’s so I guess I need to improvise) - and hey, it is better than nothing. Anyway, it felt good. I also attempting doing some reps on my dad’s resistance band.. I tried this warm-up with it that is for your arms.. WOOOW.. that was hard.. my arms felt sore. I think the resistance band is really high up there too…  but yeah I am going to try and do that now. On Monday, I might go to the gym at school and do some real cardio on the elliptical (how I miss the elliptical) and then later that day, I will do the Pilates DVD again. I don’t think you are supposed to do toning/muscle exercises everyday, especially starting out again so I will wait at least two days before I do the DVD again. I feel good.. I just need to drink some more water and later I’m going to do some stretches again.
I have time to kill.

Tomorrow, I’m going to work at Homehunters with my dad, his boss needs me to work tomorrow and saturday since my dad is going to be working and no one else is ( I worked there before and out of al the new girls they hired and fired, I’m the most reliable, but I had to leave them b/c of college). So I’m thinking I could work once a week even if classes start for the summer, it is still like spending money. I can’t during school though b/c I will be so busy and will be working on campus. Maybe I’ll work for them on an on-call basis?

Oh my dad couldn’t find whole milk so I’m stuck with 1%. Ugh, its so nasty.

There was a lot of drama at home against my stepdad, but I don’t want to get into it because I want this blog to be positive. I have a lot of support and love from my mom and real dad.

I’m going to be staying at my dad’s for possibly the remainder of the summer. I cannot start summer classes next week while he still resides at my home. My mom needs to get proof that he married her only for the greencard and also proof that he does push her around and hits her sometimes. That is enough for him to not only get his citizenship and greencard taken away, but to also get him deported hopefully.
No, he wants to leave and if he does, he will win b/c he already has his greencard.  We need to act before he gets citizenship.

Anyway, I will be at my dad’s and I will be fine.. classes start soon so everything will be happier. I’m going to let my mom talk to the lawyers and just pretend like he won the battle this time, but he will get a rude awakening for all the stuff he put us through. Anyway.. lol I don’t want to get into all the details of what happened. I am looking forward to staying at my dad’s, I was going to stay with him anyway for a few days so why not now?

——

Weighed in this morning at: 158
this week I binged on sugarless pudding cups and fudge popsicles haha so that slowed it down only a bit.
So.. even though  my weight had jumped to 163 from the eating.. that says I lost 5 lbs.. but in total, I lost about 3 lbs of real fat. It slowed from the eating of excessive pops and pudding but I’m getting that under control and when I’m at my dad’s, I won’t bring any of that with me so I won’t feel the urge to eat them.

It slowed a bit but I’m not discouraged, a loss is a loss as small as it may be.. and it can all be traced back to me cheating here and there. I had a banana, I’m going to have a little salad V8. My dad has this weight resistance band, so I’m thinking that I will do that at home. Since I am starting classes, I can work out at the gym at school, and when I come home, I can use the band to work on strength and toning. I’mg oign to bring my Pilates DVD too.. his place is carpeted and I will have enough privacy to do Pilates.. (there is no place to do pilates at my house over here b/c there is always people around and my room is wooden.
I’m so happy I am at 158! My shape is emerging, but I know that just 5 more lbs and I will be able to wear my other clothes and have them fit me much better (Like I said, it is amazing how as you get smaller and smaller, each lb you lose can be seen and noticed much more easily). The couple lbs I lost definitely came from my hips, and a little around the stomach. I’m happy I get to be with my dad and I will have more time to study, work out, and be myself. There won’t be as much stress.. I’m so glad I have my father for support. =]

Although I was still bloated this morning from yesteryday… I weighed myself and I’m down to 159.
Had salad today… and carrots..
No fruits in the house..

umm.. I did however, have a few pudding cups again which isn’t good…  lol