Committed

It is the start of a new year, and as usual I’d like to put some goals on record.

One of my main goals is to be more consistent about eating “clean” (no refined carbs, nothing artificial, etc.), which goes hand-in-hand with cooking more at home.  This can be broken down into several mini-goals:

1. Cook more often:  Currently, I cook for the better part of a Sunday afternoon a couple times a month.  I prep weekday lunches for the office and sometimes a few soups to serve as light dinners as well. In 2009, I’d like to increase how much I cook during the week.  I enjoy it, so I should really make time for it.
2. Improve cooking skills:  I bought a $350 food processor a few weeks ago and I have only used it once.  I’ll admit I’m a little afraid of it (not sure why) but I need to just dig in there!  I also want to learn some other techniques like braising tofu, cooking with tempeh, and working in more sustainable ingredients into my foods.
3. Better planning:  Currently I’m lucky to get to the grocery store three times a month.  I get to Trader Joes maybe once a month, and I get to Whole Foods about three times a year.  I’d like to get into a routine of shopping once a week, and rotating stores each time so I get good variety.  I also want to learn how to do meal planning in a time efficient way, and then to learn to adapt recipes so that they can be “prepped” in advance and stored in the freezer or the fridge for quick cooking on a weeknight.

A second resolution has more to do with my mental health.  I am naturally moody, and am prone to short but deep bouts of depression.  I really want to do more for myself in this way.  Again, more mini goals.

1. Meditate:  Learn a few meditation practices, and build it into my life with some regularity.  I know that sounds vague, but I don’t want to be too specific with this one.
2. Exercise:  Exercise is my best friend.  I stay pretty emotionally stable when I have regular exercise in my life, specifically some good, low-impact cardio.  Walking is my mainstay, but I’ve recently been diagnosed with plantar fasciitis.  I need a backup, which was swimming when I was young.  I’d like to have a few things I can do instead of walking that will take care of me, my mental health, and my feet!
3. Keep Busy:  Boredom is my nemisis.  When I have too much time on my hands it is *not* good. I need to get better at filling up my down time with plenty to do, even if it is housework or whatever.
4. Give Back:  The times in my life I felt the best, I was giving back by volunteering.  I would like to find a cause I’m passionate about, and find a way to carve out time to give to that cause.  I always feel better when I feel purposeful.

What are some of your resolutions?

PS - I notice that WordPress 3FC *still* does not have the Random Blog feature working. 

Up 2.5 pounds this week.  :-(  Hopefully it is water or whatever.

Yay - 198.0!!!

A couple of months back, I bought Fiber One Bars in chocolate and peanut butter flavors.  I was immediately hooked.  They are only 140 calories, very filling, and super tastey!!  I had to watch it because sometimes I would eat 2 or 3 in one day because they are so addicting.  But I loved adding the extra fiber to my diet in such a delicous way. I would buy in bulk so I would always have a few around at work to keep me from indulging in other unhealthy snacks.

I didn’t immediately recognize the timing, but around the same time I started eating the bars, I started suffering from horrible gas attacks.  And when I say attacks, I am putting it mildly.  I would spend a couple of hours holding back wind, and this would cause my stomach to gurgle as badly and loudly as if I truly was passing gas - for hours at a time.

I remember one time I was at a meeting at work when it got really bad.  I am a female in a senior management role, and its tough enough dealing with an all-male executive team without any extra reasons for them to not take me seriously.  It was horribly embarrassing, and the more embarrassed I got the more my stomach got upset.  My colleagues were really nice and ignored it, but the gurgles in my stomach sounded as bad as if I was freely passing gas.  I still get embarrassed just thinking about it!!

It was only when I ran out of the bars last week when I realized that they were the cause of my gas.  I haven’t had one in a week, and I haven’t had the problem in that entire time.

It was tough to give them up, but I can’t go through that again!!

Weighed in early this week (going to a wedding tonight, so no doubt I would weigh in Sunday AM with disappointment).  Its been slow going, but I’m finally under 200 at a cool 199.6!!!  I’m really happy!!!

Gained a pound!!  I know, I haven’t taken things “seriously” so I kinda deserve this.

Weighed in at 201.4 today, down from 202.6 last week.

I seem to be averaging about a pound a week, except that first week of course (three!!).  But I can totally live with a pound a week.  It is pretty easy so far.  Like last night I ate pizza and ice cream. If losing a pound a week means I can occaisionally have pizza and ice cream, I will take it!!

The photo shows the size of a pound of body fat.  Its gross to think about but it is a great reminder!!

I weighed in mid-week.  Bad idea.  No change from the weekend. 

Weigh in - 203.8, down 0.4 pounds for the week. I’m somewhat disappointed, but I’m keeping it in check because I have PMS and I know that accounts for about a pound, possibly more.

I’m going to keep on keepin’ on!!

This week I have a couple of challenges. I’ll be going to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse tonight for dinner, and I love that food. I want to be careful not to eat too much. My approach to dinner will be to eat quantities that enable me to enjoy each course, not eat as much of each course as I possibly can snarf down.

The other challenge will be that the new quarter starts in school. The class looks tough, and school nights are always my weakness. I get really into the night time emotional eating thing when I have tough classes. My philosophy here will be to focus on getting the work done as best I can. If I need some light snacks to help that is OK.

I have so much anxiety about my weigh in.  I don’t know if I can take the disappointment that I believe in my heart is in store for me.

Ugh.  I gotta get ahold of myself.