Happy Hag

We have a wedding to go to late this afternoon. Hurricane Hanna will also be showing up, playing havoc with the bride. It will probably just be rainy, as we are pretty far away from the coast. I put all my hanging baskets on the ground, just in case, and should probably fill up buckets with water in case the power goes out. This is an insurance measure, that when I do, usually works in making our electric not go out.

Bought a dress for the wedding last night, in a whirl-wind shopping trip timed during son’s ball practice. Just could not find a nice pair of shoes I could actually walk in. I’m definitely a sneaker/flip-flop/cowboy boot kinda hag. The dress, though-love the dress. It’s a Jones New York black jersey with gathers in the right places that take about 10 pounds off. The only issue I foresee is, since I’ll be wearing hose, a pair of Spanx and the dress, I’ll be incased from head to foot in man-made, possibly hot, materials… If I perchance drop a hot cig ash on any part of me, I’ll be done for. I’ll let you know how that goes. Oh, and best of all, the dress was On Sale ~ half off, plus the sweetie at the register ran a coupon on it and got me another $10 off. God Bless nice salespeople! 

Dress looks sort of like this, but the sleeves are 3/4 length, and the neck line shows more skin.

Also, add about 40 pounds to that poor skinny model who hasn’t a clue what a “Spanx” is.

Have a good weekend, all!

Filed under: General on September 6th, 2008 | 1 Comment »

At least that’s what I think happened to doggie. I put his new battery in his collar and let him outside last night. I went to let him in a little while later and there he was on the porch looking, well, hangdog. I think he must have rediscovered his boundaries, thank goodness.

We live by a busy road and my garden has several plots for the barn cats that Didn’t Make It Across. When we moved here well over a decade ago, we inherited 13 barn cats. The matriarch (I named her MomCat), would churn out a litter every spring and fall. She was so wild, it took a year before I could scratch the top of her head, let alone catch her, so we would spay/neuter her children and find homes for them. She had the most beautiful kitties-what an assortment of colors! She finally met her fate on the road, like so many of her children.

Picture this: There I am, 7 months pregnant standing by the side of the road with a shovel and tears streaming down my face, waiting for a break in the traffic so I can quick scrape up a furry blur from the pavement. I can giggle at it now. Especially when I think of that Gary Larson Far Side cartoon, “The Secret Tools of Crows” (assorted shovels and whatnot).

Her two remaining children are now our house cats. They have lost the hunter instincts except for when tuna fish cans are heard to be opened.

 Dinah, the cranky persnickety occasional bed pooper, &  hair ball producer. But I love her. No one else here does.

 ”Is that a can opener I hear?”

Fluffy, who is much kinder than this picture would indicate. She has the tem-purr-ment of a dog.

Filed under: General on September 5th, 2008 | 4 Comments »

That was a little tag line for some advertising I did for us a few years ago. I think I might have to get it out and dust it off for our new pizza we have been working (and eating) on for our store.

Our dog is on an invisible fence. His collar emits little beeps when he gets close to the underground wire boundary ~ this is plenty good enough for our whimpy pup. He lost the little battery thingie out of his collar and has been going ever closer to his boundaries. The UPS Truck, which goes past out house several times a day, is just so darn  exciting we tend to forget about boundaries unless we hear the “Beeeep”. Today I’m going to go buy about four of those little battery suckers, as they seem to dislodge and disappear every five months or so. I haven’t caught the dog with a screwdriver yet. Maybe he gets the cats to help him.

Filed under: General on September 4th, 2008 | 2 Comments »

“WHY is my alarm blaring the local news station at this hour?” my foggy brain stumbled about… “SCHOOL!”. Out of the sheets and on my feets to go wake the kiddo. Ha! He was downstairs, dressed and ready to go 25 minutes early. Oh please make this routine last… 

Bonus points: he forgot to spray on the obnoxious cloying body spray all the boys of his age seem to be wearing. I should hold that can outside and spray, spray, spray to use it up, but that would be detrimental to the wildlife. I picture birds dropping from the trees, geese suddenly detouring in the sky and the dog running away.

There is a definite learning curve on the selection & application of cologne. The companies that produce for this teen market segment must know they have a short but busy shot at it. I picture a wavy haze of fumes from assorted cheap but well-marketed body sprays hanging over the school. How do you teachers handle it?

Today is the day I’m determined to get back into MY routine. It seems the busier I am, the more I get done. I am murder on unstructured time, and can easily and joyfully dilly-dally the minutes away. 

Filed under: General on September 2nd, 2008 | 3 Comments »

Oh man, are you guys in trouble now.

Patty just instructed me on the Kwik-N-EZ way to up load photos…

Here’s that shiny torte!

Hummm, what else do I have…

Here’s me cookin’ something else. With wine of course. 

Now, if you recognize me, my anonymous cover  is shot to hell. “Hey, that’s Susan and she scrapes off body cream and puts it in baggies!”

Filed under: General on September 1st, 2008 | 4 Comments »

I’ll be doggone if I can figure out how to upload photos here. I can only drag from certain formats. Must be because I use a Mac instead of a PC. OR that I am as computer-illiterate as I’ve always expected I was.

I hope you see pictured above, a recipe I just made from the newest Gourmet magazine. It’s a flourless chocolate torte. It was way easy to make and looks like it is from a bakery because it has a smooth, shiny chocolate glaze over it. ?It was a sophisticated desert, as is was not sweet. To my thinking, it needed a good dollop of sweetened whipped cream and some raspberry sauce. Next time I’ll do a re-torte.

I’m cooking outside on the grill tonight for the first time in months. Isn’t that pathetic? I have to go down the hall, through the living room, then outside to the deck to get to the grill and its a giant pain to be cooking in the kitchen and grill at the same time. George Foreman has done all of my grilling this summer!?

I suspect I should be blogging on a foodie blog instead of here, as my weight has not changed a whole lot, but boy have I made a lot of cool food lately!

Tomorrow all the alarms get set in readiness for school and work. Son is chompin’ at the bit to go back ~ that ought to last a week.?

Filed under: General on September 1st, 2008 | 2 Comments »

Next week, not only is it back to school time for Son; it’s back to work time for me. During the summer, I am lucky enough to only work a day or two a week ~ benefits of sleeping with the owner . 

Aside note: DH & I have a restaurant, so I’m allowed to sleep with the owner.

For our front of house crew, we have red jersey shirts with our logos on ‘em. Last Spring, I imagined myself wearing a medium size, come Fall, instead of a large. Rats! and Shucks! The medium is still too small across the shoulders & bust. To make a medium fit, I have to crouch down & pull the shirt over my knees, and cut a little jig. This is what you did when you were a kid, doing the Penguin Dance to a 45 record on the 78 speed, and your Mom would yell at you for stretching out your shirts. If you are younger than 30, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about. 

Although many of you are getting too much rain, we are in need of it here in our little pocket of the northeast. The skies have been cloudy for a few days and I keep thinking I can skip the tedium of watering the flowers outside. So far, no rain. I’ve been following the looming threat of Gustav. Please not New Orleans again. Mayor Nagin says they are ready for the threat. Hope & pray everyone weathers this storm okay.

If I had a home in the South, I would already have my stash of plywood, water & batteries. That seems to be the news channels favorite shot: people lined up to buy plywood, water & batteries. That, and the fool newscaster (probably low person on the totem pole) out in the wind & rain, telling us its really windy and rainy. “The wind is really picking up now Bob!”

I’ll take our occasional monster blizzards over a hurricane any day. That’s when all you Southerners get to watch us lined up to buy water, batteries, bread and milk. Or, in my case, wine, cigarettes and Twinkies. (Just kidding about the Twinkies.) Our newscasters have lately taken to riding with snowplow trucks to report on the action. “The snow is really picking up now, Bob!” 

Everything stops for weather, doesn’t it?

Filed under: General on August 29th, 2008 | 4 Comments »

Took Son to get fitted for contact lenses today. It went well at the office; he pops ‘em in quick ~ its the taking ‘em out part that was a little tough for him & has me secretly worried for tonight! As I watched him getting instructions on insertion & removal, I realized that I was opening my eyes wide, contorting my face and twitching my fingers, to help him, I guess. I wore contacts for many years so I think I can remember some of my tricks to using them for him. (I had the laser surgery done in 2000.) We went school shopping after that and he was walking around looking all googly-eyed. Clear, sharp vision with no glasses is a wonderful thing. Hopefully, removal goes smooth tonight.

We had a great day together. I hope he doesn’t change into a “mean-ager” any time soon. 

I can say I’ve been drinking my water, taking my vits and doing better on getting to the gym. Food-wise has not been as good, Dear Reader. Too many fun things to eat. We are trying out a new style pizza at the store, and testing a new suppliers’ bread line… need I say more?

Feathers, I wrote a long reply to your comment only to find both gone! Where & by whom, I don’t know! TOM finally arrived after 35 days. Huh? He wanted to know if I missed him and I said, “Just a little.”

Filed under: General on August 28th, 2008 | No Comments »

I’m on an Eggbeaters for breakfast kick. Nuke some salsa in the micro and pour over my EB omelet ~ its all good. Breakfast is easy for me: so many choices that I enjoy. Its the diners that are hard when I’m cooking for the family. Noses are usually turned up at tossed salads with chicken slices on them, so I go the “hearty” route. Especially when son has buds over. I have this vain little image in my head of years from now, when son and friends are in college, they will reminisce about wonderful meals I have made them. As they eat those powdered eggs, they will long for my home-made waffles and fluffy scrambled eggs. Over cold pizza slices, one might say, “Hey Phil, remember that roasted breast of chicken & stuffing your Mom used to make us?”. At the vending machine, they will have a mental image of my Blueberry Boy Bait…

I’ve even gone so far as to jot down the food likes of regular visitors. S***** loves bread, pork sandwiches & gummy bears, A**** likes chicken breasts, M*** likes nachos, but not with salsa on them, B** likes anything at all, etc… 

And now this, for yur kitteh njoymint:

Filed under: General on August 27th, 2008 | 2 Comments »

(regarding previous post)

Patty writes: I can’t believe you’re noticing “turkey” neck! I’ve been fretting over it for a couple of months. Look at my pictures! What’s happening to my neck??? It seems like all the weight I lose is making my face and neck look gross!

I’ve been wrestling with this for a while…At what point do you just say to Hell with it? Is it 55?, 60? No one expects you to look good after a certain point but what’s that point? Magazine articles have titles like “Fabulous at Forty!” and “Feelin Great at Fifty!” I can’t find a damn thing that says, “Sexy at Sixty!” I’m starting to look like my Mom! (sob)

Happy Hag replies: Patty, I’ve also been on the horns of that dilemma ~ when can we throw in the towel and become the Fat Comfy Grandmotherly Type?

Towards that end, I’m growing my hair long so I can sport the silver braid (no more foil wraps)  circled ’round my crown. I can go shopping for full-frontal aprons, house dresses and canning supplies instead of make-up, Spanx and Slim-Fast bars. I can smile and nod my head sagely when I forget someone’s name. Trade in my high heels for carpet slippers, expensive dental work for dentures (then I can buy a “Chopper Hopper”!), and stop trying to keep dirty sweaty boys off my nice sofas and get a bunch of recliners and put doilies & plastic slipcovers on them. I can bake whenever I want and wear anti-wedgie granny panties.

Patty, when you publish your new book, “Sexy at Sixty”, please print it in extra large type!

Filed under: General on August 26th, 2008 | 5 Comments »