Struggling struggling struggling struggling

I get weighed tomorrow at the doctor. No more hiding.

I already sort of know the jig is up. I went shopping at Catherine’s with a little of my tax return. I paid bills with the rest of it. I had to buy a 4X coat and it was still a little tight in the arms. It’s always the arms. Also when I catch a glimpse of myself in the paper towel dispenser at work, and at odd angles in the mirror, I can tell I’ve gotten bigger.

I wish there were some magic potion or pill I could take. Also I have 3 weeks until I go back to Mayo Clinic. I would like to get some weight off before then, but I’m not holding my breath.  I know the answer is exercise. This winter has just really gotten the best of me. I never thought the weather could have such a depressing effect, but man. What a drag. Can we try & keep it over 30 now? It’s freaking MARCH already. I’m tired of 20 degree weather & ugly dirty snowbanks covering the sidewalks & streets. 1 month from now it should be better.

Also I have to go back to the sleep doctor. I am not waking up refreshed. My friend K said it might be due to staying up late & not getting enough sleep. But that is supposed to be the beauty of the sleep machine. Also, these are the hours I am normally awake & asleep. I am supposed to be getting better sleep, feeling refreshed, and losing weight as a result. If anything, I’ve gained 15 or so pounds by going on the sleep machine. I have an appt with the sleep dr on the 27th. I know he’s going to make me go for a nap study, which I can do. I just wish I didn’t have to. He said he thinks I have a sleepy brain, which could very well be. I would take medication for that. But he has to put me through the nap study first. Zzzzzzzzz. I wish we could eliminate the middleman. It’s not as if I am a stranger to pharmaceuticals, for Pete’s sake. What’s one more pill? Especially if it’s gonna help me?

So that’s where I’m at. Hope everyone else is having a good week. xoxox

Posted by suchaprettyface on March 13th, 2008 under sleep apnea

One Response to “Struggling struggling struggling struggling”

  1. anngirl Says:
    March 13th, 2008 at 11:47 pm

    Gotta go back to my goddamn machine myself… I wake up feeling like I got hit by a mack truck. I hope you’ll be feeling better real soon - there’s nothin’ more worthless than not getting enough sleep. Hmmm, sleepy brain. What’s that?

    Dang. :)

    Let us know how it’s going :)

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