Revelation
I was reading the forums tonight & had a revelation about how I have been feeling about my best friend’s new (since August) relationship. She has been married twice now & yes divorced twice, too. When she starts dating a new guy it’s like part of her brain disappears. I don’t know any other way to describe it. With one guy, she met his friends & thought she was too fat to date him, so she immediately stopped eating & began exercising like a crazy person. Here’s what I read that I found myself nodding my head to (in a thread about your friends/family sabotaging your diet/new healthy lifestyle):
“It’s exactly the same as when you get married or you have kids and your single or childfree friends are forced to adapt to YOUR new lifestyle or lose you. In a lot of ways it’s unfair to them because they’re put in a position of having to accept changes they never asked for or wanted. And it’s wonderful if your experiences can help them to make needed changes … but if not, it’s only natural and right for them to be a little hurt and resentful that the nature of your friendship is changing, and they have no say or control over it.”
^^this is exactly it! Our friendship has, is, and will continue to change due to her involvement with him and I have no say in it. It’s not that I don’t like him. I do. It’s not that I don’t think he’s great for her. I do. It’s just that it would be nice not to have to hear about him every time I talk to her. I mean, in every relationship eventually the other shoe drops, right? RIGHT??!?!?!. Guh. This was actually a subject on Sex & The City last night. Miranda got up & walked out of the diner because all the others could talk about was men. This friend is getting to be the same. Every convo comes back to her man. It’s getting old & I SO feel Miranda’s pain. Can’t we just be ourselves, the fabulous women we are? I see us as the steaks, guys as the potato choice. Do I want garlic mash today? Steak fries? Bad analogy, but it’s the only one I’ve got.
In other news, So I went to have a birthmark looked at on Friday. The doctor took one look at it & said, “Yeah, let’s remove that. I can do it within the next 15 minutes. We’ll send it to the pathology lab & give you some stitches. You’ll go home today and come back in 10 days and we’ll give you the results.”
That ^^ I was not expecting. What I wanted him to say was that I was being paranoid for nothing & to moisturize more often. But you can’t always have what you want.
The small birthmark was changing colors & bled when I scratched it last week. I have been watching it for the last 6 months. It was turning black in some spots. The pamphlet I got at the doctor’s last time I went was very informative. It said for skin cancer you want to look for the ABCD’s. Asymmetry, Borders, Color & Diameter. It’s the same size it’s always been, maybe a little bigger, the borders are not fucked up, the symmetry was non-remarkable, but the color was changing. Also it was not bigger than a pencil eraser. He still took it off.
The first few days, it hurt like billy-o. Roald Dahl said that about the mouse-boy getting his tail cut off in The Witches. It’s true. I have 3 stitches. Everyone was freaked out by my arm the first day (I went straight to work), and it didn’t stop bleeding until sometime on Saturday. He said he made it so I would not have a scar, but it seriously looks like there is a dent in my arm.
This whole incident has triggered some memories. Remember back in the 70’s during the summer? My aunties & I would go “lay out”. It was an ACTIVITY for Pete’s sake like tennis or frisbee or swimming! We’d get a big blanket off the bed in my grandparents’ spare bedroom, grab some suntan lotion or baby oil, and lay on the blanket in the backyard in our swimsuits. We’d be out there from 10-2, flipping over every half hour like pancakes to get the color even. If we got pink, we went inside, or at 2pm because that’s when General Hospital would come on. Afterwards, we would rub Noxzema on each other & hope we didn’t peel, so we could get a real nice color going. None of us had ever heard of skin cancer.
Same thing about the pool. Growing up my grandparents had a swimming pool at the apartment complex they managed. I almost drowned in that pool & it’s also that pool that I went in many many times every year without sunscreen. Back then we had this newfangled invention (early 80’s) called Coppertone, that was not supposed to wash off in water. Of course, it did! And I had 2 big bad sunburns that I can remember as a kid. One in about 1985ish. My uncle from the breakfast @ Pekins post & I spent all day at the pool @ the apt complex he & my Grammy lived at. We had a golf ball we would dive for, and we went home for lunch, but some days we stayed out there all day. One of those days I came home & just went straight to bed w/o supper. My mom woke me up & gave me Tylenol. The other time would have been early 90’s, and my back got toasted. Aloe helped, but they say any big bad burn like that increases your chances of skin cancer.
I am hoping this birthmark will be nothing, but it gives you something to think about. Especially when you keep hitting your arm on stuff around the house, or when people who are talking to you hit you in the arm when you are joking around with them.
I have a few more birthmarks. One is on my side right by my underarm, one in the middle of my waist in back, one is on my hip, and another two are just above the “danger zone” on my lower abdomen. You can really only see those last 2 if I am nekkid. I need to make sure I am watching them. I guess. I just feel like if they’re that small I should not have to watch them. (They are smaller than 1/4 of a pencil eraser) But that’s what I thought about the one on my arm & here we are.
Nothing else going on, snow day today, have to wake up early tomorrow to go to work, because it’s going to take me 1/2 hour to clear off the car. Hope everyone is doing well!!! xoxox
Posted by suchaprettyface on February 6th, 2008 under GeneralPages
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