Nervous
It’s been a weird last 2 days. I binged heavily yesterday w/o even realizing it until I felt that ‘too-full’ feeling, along with the twinge I get in my tummy when I’m about to throw up. Ever since I had my gallbladder out, if I don’t treat my tum right, my tum retaliates. Bluh. To top it all off after I was done throwing up, my tum was so touchy that I didn’t take my nighttime pills, so now today I had the worst heartburn ever.
Today I sent out a mass email letting everyone know I’m no longer going to be their lunch bitch. For the last year or so, whenever we order lunch out, I am the one to place the order, I am the one to collect the money, I am the one to go up & get the food, distribute it, etc. And of course the one to cover people who walk up to me with a 5 spot & say “this should cover me. ” Well, no a-hole, your sammich is 4.50 plus tax, tip & delivery fee. So that’s actually about $6.50. It’s only $1.50, but it adds up, no to mention, if you can’t afford to order out, then don’t.
And I can’t afford it anymore.
I need to bring my own lunches. I need to be able to control the amount of sodium I am eating. I need to be able to get under 300 pounds by my next Mayo Clinic visit (December), and into my size 20 jeans. And I need to save money. As I said in the email, I’m not willing to do it anymore. It’s become a chore, not something enjoyable. They would always expect me to make the phone call, collect the cash, pick the food up from the front. No more.
Tomorrow is the audition for The Biggest Loser. It’s at Rock Bottom & we aren’t allowed to line up until 7am. That means I need to get up fairly soon. Blah! After that I am driving to Kenosha to surprise my grandparents, then we are having a birthday dinner for my dad. I need a birthday card for him & some batteries for my camera. I got him a sleeveless shirt that says Kiss My Bocce Balls. hahaha I got one for me that says Save a Gondola, Ride an Italian. Yes, I’m classy. But I love my sense of humor.
Not much else going on, my best friend is wack. In Love for about the 80th time. I think this time might last but it’s in the first stages, which to me is icky when they have to share it with EVERYONE. Barf. I really do like the guy & yes I am happy for her, but still. Barf. And then today she is 100% transparent. I know she’s going to see him tonight, so of course she texts me to see what I’m doing tonight (babysitting for her? no!), I tell her sleeping b/c I have the auditions tomorrow & have to be up early. By this time we are emailing each other & she tells me, ‘oh they are looking for couples, i thought’ I tell her no, they are looking for everyone, couples, coworkers, twins, as well as individuals. The lengths she goes to get me to break my plans irritate me & make me giggle at the same time. So then she finds out I am going to visit my dad tomorrow & ’Is he ok to have visitors?’ OMG, he is not in an oxygen tent!!! No, I am not babysitting for you tomorrow, either. She finally acquiesces that I need my sleep & I think that’s the end of it. But no.
Oh, no.
She then texts me at about 20 after 8. “u asleep?” What’s it to ya? I text back no. I wait for a response. Zippo. I call her & of course get the voicemail. I say, ‘Well, you must want something, because you texted me. You will have to call me back in the next half hour. I got out of work late & had to put gas in my car for my trip tomorrow.” Why I owe her an explanation, I don’t know. I just know she only wanted to see if I was lying, with that text. DOES IT MATTER? I SAID NO!!! She just got out of a marriage with an alcoholic and they played this game all the time, trying to catch each other in a lie. She can play it with someone else, I do not owe her anything.
I think next time instead of the word games & pussyfooting around, the next time she asks me what I’m doing, I’m just going to straight out answer, “Uh…NOT babysitting for you?” But every time I’ve done that, I get, “Oh, I was gonna invite you over to hang out. Never mind.” Ugh. Can’t win, can’t win, can’t win.
Sunday I don’t know what I’m doing. Possibly taking a long walk. 
One Response to “Nervous”
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September 8th, 2007 at 7:15 am
I love your blog!
Good luck on the Biggest Loser audition! how fabulous! Keep us posted!