It’s been a while since I have blogged, had server problems and am only online today! It’s been a crazy week with office parties, childrens parties and birthdays! I did’nt loose anything but was very glad to see that I did’nt gain either! So from today I’m gonna start cutting out my starches, gonna try eating loads of veggies and fruit and then my meat in moderation. After a couple of weeks I will slowly start eating carbohydrates again and see how it goes! If I feel deprived I will eat a jacket potato or pasta with veggies but nothing fattening,no cheese sauces or butter etc..

I have to start walking as well, I need to start moving but I dont know where, I cant go walking early morning because it’s to dangerous to do it alone and with the kids after work I dont move fast enough and when it’s dark to dangerous again… I have to think about this because excercising is very important! I need to start something, maybe put on some music and dancing when I get home,it will be fun and kids will enjoy it to!

These are the best words is my language (Afrikaans) that describes my feelings!  I cheated last night, not in a bad way because the food was healthy but I had 2 helpings instead of one, after dinner I also had fruit salad (not bad) but I went over my points by 5 and to trying to eat less over the weekend is gonna be real difficult but maybe eating 1.5 points less each day will help!!  While I am writing this I get so angry with myself because here I am back with the mentality of being on a diet!!! I must get my head around the idea of cheating and instead get focused on a lifechange and that in life you are allowed to overindulge sometimes and that it is ok!

Onwards soldiers!! The weekend is gonna be my real test and I cant even blog because I use my computer at work but at least I have a wonderfull group of friends that will encourage me! The most difficult part will be watching Rugby on Saturday with all the friends and not being able to eat so much ”biltong and droëwors” like we normally do!

I know its not good to get on the scales so much but I lost 1kg from yesterday till today!!! Propable only water retention but still, feeling good!!!

I had a huge revelation last night, my son is 8 and to him I am his beautifull mommy. He said to me last night that one of the kids in school told him I was fat. Of course he defended me and said that it’s not true and I only look like that because of 2 babies! I realised that I was not only hurting myself but also my children while being overweight! So today I feel even more motivated to try and take small steps to get to the top!

I need to start listening to my body when it tells me it’s hungry. Question is, how do I know when I’m hungry? It’s been so long since I’ve listened to my body so starting now I’m gonna try and listen…. I stopped smoking a few years ago and I’m gonna try to use the same method with my eating as well, when I had a craving for a cigarette I used to wait 10minutes untill the craving passed, maybe it will work with food as well??

Time will tell and there is no hurry, it took me 8 years to put all this weight on, I cant expect to loose it all in 3 months!

Proud of myself for staying motivated! I dont feel like I’m on a diet! Following Weight Watchers and can eat 28 points per day, had a chicken burger and oven chips last night, only difference from the family are the mayo and margarine!! The most difficult part of the day is being at work, if I dont keep busy I start thinking about food!

My best friend is getting married on the 10th of December and I need to look and feel good about myself on her special day. After the wedding it is of to Mussel Bay for our summer holiday and I need to get into a swimsuit!!! My goal therefore is to try and loose 20kg which will put me at 99kg. The last time I weighed that was before I got pregnant with my son 8 years ago. I dont know if it is possible to loose 8 years weight that quickly and maybe I am setting my goals to high but I sure am going to try but will feel happy even it is less than that!

Fed up with my weight and this time I really want to make a change. Started on Weight Watchers yesterday and so far so good. This eating plan reaaly works for me and I need to stick with it this time, I need to make a life change and not see this as a diet! After years of yo-yo dieting it is difficult to make a mind change so easily but I sure am going to try.

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