wide awake
Yep, middle of the night and here we are; this is how my body deals with stress. denies sleep. When I’m super, super upset my vocal cords get almost frozen and I can’t squeek out much of anything.
The horse situation is still up in the air; haven’t heard back from the owner of Rachel yet (thank God). Can’t believe we went from: “She’s doing such a good job with Rachel, when I get settled in this new job, I’m going to eliminate any monthly fee on your part” to the $150.00 a month increase. It ticks me off, A.’s spent almost all her birthday money on that horse–a new halter, a shaver, Listerine, medicine for rain rot, stuff to make her coat shiny. I’m starting to think he’s a few slices short of a loaf. Going to speak with the stable owner tomorrow and get her take on what he’s told us.
Nothing new with the foot; we see the new physical therapist on Thursday, I believe. A is angry and “majorly annoyed” about the situation. I sent an email with an explaination of the condition and prognosis to the c.c. coaches, both men, last Saturday. Expected to get SOME kind of reply for her—not looking for sympathy, but some acknowledgement along the lines maybe of: sorry, we’ll miss you, hurry back—SOMETHING!!!!!! Nothing—thanks guys, your compassion and support is underwhelming, to put it mildly.
Bluntly put—I am pissed at the entire world at the moment. This kid has consistently had more bad luck than anyone I’ve ever run into. Stress fx of the tibia in 2nd grade after doing a round-off in p.e. kept her in a cast a lot of the summer that year, tendinitis twice resulted in weeks of physical therapy both times, fainted a few days before district finals (which she worked like a dog to qualify for) were run in 9th grade and doc refused to let her run. She’s had terrible luck in other areas too. She won first place the Reflections contest at her middle school with a beautiful poem, they “forgot” to enter it at the city level. At the end of 8th grade ( after I called to make sure her package was complete) her guidance counselor screwed up her applications by sending incomplete ones to every academy she applied for in high school—we couldn’t understand why she got all these rejections (she was devastated!!!) and it took me months to get to the bottom of it; I was stonewalled everywhere I turned–the principal and everyone else I spoke with thought it was just sour grapes on my part. Finally, I convinced one academy head to actually investigate, uncover what happened, and straighten it out. When I called her principal—who had promised to look into it and in reality did nothing, the only thing he could say to me was that they were “getting rid of” that guidance counselor…..boy, I had a few choice things to say to that man!!!!!! I’m pretty sure one of the reasons she tested and switched from Legal to IB in 10th was just to prove she could get in. The really sad thing is that our city supposedly has the best school district in the area.
Our new phone line was dug today. I’m still eating wrong and way too much. I’m so angry that this has happened and damn frustrated. I just ache for her. I really need to go to the gym and work some of this out.
G’nite, chickadees.
August 5th, 2008 at 8:23 am
Yes. We mothers can deal with the negative stuff that happens to US, but when our kiddos are having a rough go of it, all bets are off. And it’s the impotence we feel when the problem is outside our own sphere of influence and even when we’ve done all we can, it’s not enough - that’s what eats away at you. But, the older they get, the more they have to deal with what’s “out there”, and the less we can do about it. I rediscovered that with each of my own little chicklets, went through endless frustration and pain for them, and in the end, they handled themselves well, and still do. Of course there are still the occasional disappointments and problems, and they tend to come back and talk things through with me and then make their own decisions about how to handle whatever it is. Your little chicklet will undoubtedly do the same thing. Having been through so many trials, my guess is that A is a strong young woman, and will grow up to be an accomplished and confident adult. You have yourself to thank for that, Ms. Close. Now, head for the gym! LOL.
Love,
Z
August 5th, 2008 at 11:30 am
I’m glad I checked in on you…I’ve been writing elsewhere lately. Anyways, I love reading about A, she sounds like an amazing young woman - someone I hope I can groom my girl into. She’ll come out on top, especially with you as her mom
I’m sending you big hugs (((()))) hoping things get better soon.
PS - What’s wrong with those coaches???
August 5th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
You should either do a massive work out (even walking would be good) or get a massage. You need a release, girl. I hate to think of all of A’s disappointments but she will find new interests to keep her going. I do agree with getting another opinion on Rachel’s owner’s sanity. At least halters fit more than one horse. I suggest finding a new one. AND hold him to the contract (unless you get a new horse and want to break the contract - then scream fundamental breach and you will be set free).
Enough of my stress and legal advice!!!
We’re here for you!
Shari
August 5th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. I’ve been on a retreat the last couple of days and we spent some time today dealing with some of the trials our kids have to handle. One kid who is really gifted but his mother lives with her boyfriend, he hasn’t seen his dad for 5 years, and he stays in a rat trap house and takes care of his three little sisters. Another who actually asked if we could help him find a job that wouldn’t interfere with school because he has to work to help with finances at home and can’t return to school unless he can find something with different hours.
A is so lucky to have you looking out for her. It’s so hard for us when our kids are shortchanged. Can you imagine what it’s like to not have ANY support from your parents? I just want to take some of those people out and beat em with a stick!
Go to the gym and work out those frustrations for both of us!
August 5th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Well this all just sucks! I’m so sorry about A’s injuries…maybe if the doctor’s never seen this before in a teen, he’s never seen anyone heal as quickly as A undoubtedly will? That’s what I’m going to hope for. & the Rachel thing super sucks! UGH!
Sorry, I don’t have any advice to offer, I’m just mad this is happening to ya’ll…so, yeah, Patty’s right, maybe hit the gym, hard, at least it’ll wear you out so you can sleep.
August 5th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
I was really sad to read about your caterpillars. It’s like the icing on a very bad cake for you at the moment. I don’t think there’s much that makes a parent angrier than to see our kids being treated unfairly. I can understand why you’re taking your frustration out wherever you can.
Hope you get a peaceful night of sleep, but I’m a bit like you with sleep. I tell you, if sleeping ever becomes an Olympic event…I will not be invited onto the team.
Take care.
August 5th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Boy, I sure would be mad too! I do hope you get some sleep though. A. has had a lot of things happen, and I remember thinking the same thing about my Caroline. One thing crossed my mind as I was reading your blog - A has YOU. A great mom. There’s NO bad luck there. That’s the best gift the universe can give a child, and she got it!
Take Care of yourself, dear lady. Put your head down on that pillow and think about how wonderful it is that you have a beautiful precious child, and that you’re safe and warm and love each other. Everything is going to be alright.
August 6th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
With all that sh*t there must be a pony.
Give yourself a big pat on the back for being A’s #1 Advocate.
How many of us would have accepted what we were told because, after all, they are the educators?
A massage sounds mighty good. Maybe you and A can do a Girl’s Day Off: lunch and manicures & pedicures…
August 7th, 2008 at 8:08 am
I would be angry too. I hate when my child hurts and he is 33 years old. I get so angry when things are unfair.
Big hugs coming your way.
August 7th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Me again. I did get your comment to my blog but in my attempt to delete all the spam I got, it got deleted off the site too. Sorry.
Hope all is improving for you. LIVE THE DREAM!
Shari
August 7th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
((((HUGS)))) Im so sorry. It seems that when it rains it pours. I agree a massage sounds delightful.
August 8th, 2008 at 1:09 am
Oh my gosh.. you’ve got a lot going on! I feel for ya and I’m sorry. I understand the Mom thing. I alienated a neighbor over my son once… whoops, lost my temper with a dingbat… wasn’t even worth it in retrospect. Take care, thing will work out, they don’t have any other choice. Now I’m off to take my own sleeping pill.. gotta rest sometime and goodness knows Moms don’t get much!