chilly
Wow, it got down in the 40’s last night—thought we were done with all that. Sure was cold taking A. to the bus stop this am. at 6:15. Just moved my tomatoes into the first patch of sunlight. We have soooo much shade, I’m carrying them about the yard to different spots so they can catch the sun as it moves. It’s not hard now but come July when the cages are in the pots and they have grown, it gets a mite difficult.
Gym yesterday: ladies lite aerobics and 1.68mi. w/ incline on tm.
Attended a function at A.’s school last night; ate 2 small (1″x 1″) bar thingys; one lemon and the other pecan; otherwise food has been very good. Down one more pound on the scale yesterday and still today, so that makes 3 for the month. Not my goal of 5 but more than half. Now I sound like a certain 15 yr. old I know—” I know it’s a C but I only missed a B by one point.” It’s STILL a C and might as well have been on the lower end and missed a D by one point—a C is a C is a C. And 3 pounds is NOT 5. I’m sooooo tired of this and the thought that I’m going to be doing it FOREVER is almost too much today. I guess that’s why we do it one day at a time, like alcoholics. I want to be rid of 15 lbs. and I want it gone NOW!!!!!!! It always amazes me (and not in a good way) that I weigh more now than when I started this blog, full of fervor and resolve and determination. The first 30 had already come off right like clockwork; thought I could hop in here when I stalled and POOF—the last 10 would just melt off. HAH; it’s a whole YEAR later and I’m STILL here, still plugging away, mostly overall losing ground. Frankly, I think I’m having a temper tantrum…..I’m so frustrated!!!!!! Sometimes the thought of always making the “good” choice for the REST of my LIFE sucks, just sucks. Yes, I said sucks!Enough of this, I can’t stand myself today. sorry.
May 29th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Oh, YEAH. Ahuh. I KNOW, I know, I know, I KNOW! And it’s no help, either, hearing from an old fart like me who is STILL trying to get - and keep - the damned weight off. But I’ve GOT TO BELIEVE that at some point, somehow, if you don’t just go off the deep end and eat like a damned fool, that sooner or later, SOMETHING clicks in your body consciousness, and it stops thinking that chocolate and pastries and cake and cookies are REALLY the “good stuff”. I’m looking forward to the day when the thought of zuchinni squash evokes the same response in my mind and mouth (watering) as does a hot fudge sundae.
All I can say is that you are SO not alone in your frustration, if that’s even the slightest bit of comfort, which it probably isn’t.
Hugs anyway,
Z
May 29th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Let it ALLLLL out honey! We all feel that way from time to time. I know how you feel about the forever thing. It is hard to comprehend that there is no real stopping point. That there is no finish line. Yeah, there is a number on the scale, but it doesn’t end there. Then we go into maintenance if we are lucky enough to attain our magic number and then we have to keep making the right choices…exercise, food, AHHH!!! Sometimes it is just depressing to think about it!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 am
Why couldn’t we all be blessed with skinny ancestors? Every female from my mother and aunts and grandmother and great grandmother were fat! I’ve been fighting this all my life! I held the line fairly well until the last ten years but I’m tired!
I’m working like a dog, eating next to nothing and rejoicing at the loss of ten pounds per month. That might be okay if I only had a few to lose but I need to lose 50 or 60 pounds! It shouldn’t be so hard to lose ten per month but it’s soooooo hard!
May 30th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Right on sistah! I agree with you. It just SUCKS. But hey - you’ve lost that 30 and hell - that’s more than most folks.
You keep pluggin away - with the rest of us and we’ll all be better for it in the end.
hugggggggsssssss!
xo
May 30th, 2008 at 11:05 am
But….I’m so glad you’re here, even if you’ve been her longer than you thought you would be.
And that 15 year old person’s logic, yes, yes, yes. Uh Huh!
Still and all, you’re 30 lbs down. That’s so great.
Ruby
May 30th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Think of all the exercise you get moving the tomato plants!
May 30th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Sing it soclose! A little tantrum’s bound to be a calorie burner anyway.
Girl, you lost 3 pds! Not your goal, but that’s 3 pds in the right direction! I have 1 week left to my last challenge & I’d love to have a 3-pd loss at the end of it, but it ain’t gonna happen! Maybe I need a little tantrum too, good for the soul!
Okay, I have a really selfish confession to make, but it’s well-intentioned, believe me. Every time I come here to read, I worry about what will happen to your blog when you’ve lost the weight. Will you leave us, stop blogging? Yeah, really selfish, but what I really hope for is that you’ll lose the weight & continue to write and inspire the rest of us like the wise teacher who’s “been there, lost that weight.”
Hang in there please: you’re doing great!
May 31st, 2008 at 7:10 am
I am with you girl. I hate that fact that we have to make ‘good” choices all the time. I like junk food and I like stuff that isn’t good for me.
But I hate being fat! Hate, hate hate it.
So like Round says we have to pick our hard. Being fat is hard, dieting is hard. I pick dieting.
June 2nd, 2008 at 5:51 pm
LOL… I feel the exact same way! In fact when I began journalling I weighted 20lbs less… five years later I am still fighting this battle. I have had my months where I have surrendered to the “I am fat” mentality, only to have to start all over again. But like you, I am in a better frame of mind and I am in better shape. So I may be fatter… but I am better. Hang in there!