ok everyone, I have been trying to fill my days with things I love, or things I have always wanted to do.  Yoga is now an everyday part of my life, and I have wanted to get back into a creative mode. I recently bought a book on soldering. Have always been fascinated, so I went out and bought a soldering gun. A plug in one, not ready for the one with fire- it scares me still. One of the projects I am working on involves silver ware. Sterling- the real stuff. I have been searching locally at thrift shops and salvation army and good will, and coming up empty. I have bid on 3 on ebay, but thats it so far. So my request to any of you who want to join in on my scavenger hunt, is if you go to tag sales, or shop re-sale shops, if you could take a minute and look for silver spoons( any: tea, soup) and knives are good, forks as a last resort. Havent found a use for forks yet, but I have only just begun creating. I would say, no more than $1.00 per piece. If thrift store shopping, you might be ble to find them for 10 cents or so. Any help would be greatly appreciated.  I will reimburse 100%, and will share a little somethin somethin too. Thanks, and I cant wait to hear from you…….. <3  Sandy 

I lost 3 lbs this week. I am thrilled. Now remember, I have been up three, down three over the last month. BUT, very pleased to be down 3 today.  I think the physical therapy has me doing much more than I was doing on my own. The exercises they have given me are to strengthen, so a lot of resistance work, with bands and exercise ball.  I am being diligent to get the exercise in at home, and I guess it’s paying off.  YAY! I know I had taken my measurements a month or so ago. Cant find them. When I do, I will post if I lost any inches. I feel like I gained an inch or two in height, just from correcting my posture. Hope you all have a great weekend. 

OK, so I’ve decided to stop focusing on all the drama, and live my life. It seems if it isnt one thing, it’s another, and thats just life. Roll with it.  So Today,  I had an epiphany….. they come every now and then. Todays was, isnt it sad, that my injury has me, finally, in a healthy state of mind? I think I let the unknown medical crap consume me, along with how I could control my weight before that. I was thinking way too much, and not doing. Tony, you have had such a healthy attitude, just keep on keepin on. I was on, then off. I was questioning every last thing when it came to “dieting” and it got me nowhere. I suffer thru 2 months of hell, not knowing what causes this pain, and in turn stopped my life. NO more.I started physical therapy last Saturday, and have had 3  appointments to date. They dont baby you, they get you moving. From what I understand, with the undiagnosed pain, my body basically folded up( almost fetal position) My posture has gone from bad to worse, and so that is what we are working on at P/T. I do my exercises there, then come home and do them daily in between appts. I have to tell you, I “appear” thinner, just by standing up tall. Crazy, well, not when you think about it. My DH actually commented today, I looked taller. So I have a new exercise ball and bands that offer lots of resistance. I still get the moist heat pads when I first get to my appt, and they are heavenly. I bought vitamins( multi) and extra B complex, and chromium. The chromium is said to help decrease cravings for sugar.  Definitely needed here. I am snacking on raw green veggies, and mainly protein at meals, but not too much emphasis as before. Oh, and I started drinking green tea! THANKS Tony!!!!  I spent too much time thinking about food, and now am trying to just eat reasonable portions.  If we have rice, I have a little. All things in moderation. So, starting tomorrow, I will join in on weigh in’s again. I am not going to post my weight, will post how many lbs lost each week. I dont want to get hung up on the scale too much. I want to take measurements, and see my body firm up, and less about the weight. I have to start somewhere.  It’s a way of life, and getting over stressed about any part of it is crazy. I was crazy before.  So thanks Kanye West for the inspiring song, “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger”.  Funny it reminds me of the 6 billion dollar man. I’m showing my age! LOL See you all here tomorrow. 

I have FINALLY received my “official” diagnosis. I have a disc herniation- T 7-8.  It is pinching the nerves on the right side of my spine. I’m still waiting for the extensive blood work results( close to a dozen vials of blood drawn) and I am at peace. Mind peace, not yet body peace. I believe I will start P/T soon, as the pain hasnt let up and we are going on 8 weeks. I take that back, the pain has moved around, but little relief. I have an appt w/ my primary doctor on Thursday to talk about returning to work. We may start back with 1/2 days, which would be fine with me. I am entering my 9th week of yoga teacher training, so the end is near. I am really hoping to get out there and teach soon after I’m certified. I have tons of idea’s for plus size women as well as for children.  I have to start calling around to the schools for maybe an after school class or two. and I want to see if any of the halls at the churches may let me use them for classes in turn for donations or a small fee. I am soooo excited to really be so close. Now it’s staying focused and taking steps towards my goals. I want to have my time with my children. Going back to a job I originally left was only out of necessity, not out of love. I am thrilled I have been able to continue pursuing my dream, and am confident I will be living my dream in the very near future. I have 4 weeks left of training, then I have to teach a class as part of the certification. Gosh, I can hardly wait.  To see the vision so clearly, is absolutely amazing. This Friday, I am headed to Bridgeport, to observe, and hopefully participate, in a class taught to elementary school age children.  Then the yoga retreat at the end of the month, to help solidify it all. I couldnt be happier.Thanks to everyone for their kind and heartfelt comments.  They really mean a lot. 

I was contacted yesterday by one of my yoga instructors, who is also a massage therapist. We talked a little about the last 7 weeks of my “medical stuff”, and she must have heard the frustration in my voice. She invited me to her gentle yoga class, and following that,  suggested she give me a massage. Hmmm, I thought. I could make a million excuses out of fear, or I could take back some control over my health and give it a try. Certainly couldnt hurt. So I happily accepted her offer.  Bright and early this morning I took and hour long yoga class. Lots of slow movement, and gentle stretching. Then off for my massage. We must have talked for a couple of hours, before and after the massage. I left feeling empowered. I had never met her, only thru emails, and when she saw me, she asked how much had I weighed, as I had given her the impression I was much heavier. I found this interesting, as I hadnt known I was doing this. I am soo unhappy with my weight, I guess I have made it much bigger than it is. I never had told her my weight in pounds, but must have conveyed myself as a much heavier person.  WOW, talk about negative self image.                                                    I had a lot, I mean A LOT, of tension in my middle( thoracic) part of my back. She said there was a good chance, due to the muscles being so tight, they may have pulled my spine out of alignment. We all know the powers of STRESS. Again, found this extremely interesting, and very plausible.  I dont want to give up my power to heal myself. The medical field has yet to prove to me that their answers are any better. Their treatment takes an additional toll on my body. Makes you really think…….  She ended the session by sharing a few additional stretches I can do to loosen that part of my back up.  I plan to get a massage monthly. I owe it to myself, and I will resume my gentle yoga routine, as it really did help my mental health. I had an awesome day, and a day I would love to fill up weeks with. Today showed me where my life is going. I feel as if I am leading a double life at times, with a “regular job” that doesnt fulfill me, and a lifestyle that has been stuck in a very “normal” routine, with little interest.  I felt alive today, and I want to feel that much more often. As my yoga instructor said, my mind and my dreams are moving a little quicker than my body. All my dreams are coming together, but I need to make sure to give my body a chance to catch up. Next Friday I will be traveling w/ 2 of my yoga instructors to an inner city elementary school where we will introduce yoga to them. Should be quite exciting. Then in just a month, I will head up north( VT ) for my yoga retreat weekend.  Dont let fear stand in the way of your dreams. Believe and they will happen. 

well, today was filled with information-  for that I am grateful. Not all great, but I am able to reorganize and change my pattern to accommodate. First was court- After a lengthy discussion with my attorney, we have a 60 day continuance. It was for very good reasons, and I am good with that. It involves additional meetings with other professionals, but the end result should be a good one. The weather was crazy rainy today. At some points, like the sky literally opened up and dumped buckets down. I stayed indoors all day. Fed everyone, and I had a peanut butter and Jelly sandwich.  Just before 8pm, I got THE call from my doctor. He asked did I have a minute……. Yeah, I’ve been waiting 7, yes seven,  weeks for some news. OK, so the MRI found degenerative changes in my neck and spine, spurs, and a disc incroaching on a nerve. OK< what does that mean,, I asked. He said he has to refer me to a neurologist and he will be better to answer my questions.  But the pain, can you help me with the pain…….. the neurologist will most likely give you a Rx. Great, so now I have a diagnosis, and havent a clue what it means? Will this heal? What course of treatment? Anything? 7 weeks……  So I will call the neurologist tomorrow morning and schedule an appointment. That was my Monday, how was yours?  LOL  

It’s Friday, and that means weigh day!! I started this week at 196. I had put on some pounds and on Monday started the carb purge. I had done it once before and for two consecutive days. This time I extended it to three days. The forth day I ate fairly normal. So todays weight, 192. I lost 4 lbs this week. I am pleased. Although I will not carb purge daily, I believe eating the raw green veggies is a great way to control my intake and it’s healthy. I am getting a balanced diet( proteins, fruit) just no “bad” carbs. Maybe I have a carb allergy, and thats why the weight wouldnt drop. Is there such a thing as a carb allergy?? lol  I am hoping to be in the 180’s next Friday. YAY! for me!!  I Had the MRI last night, 8pm. They called me at the last minute, and got me in the same day, so for that I am happy. I should have results by Monday. MRI was quite an experience. I went in with my eyes closed and did a lot of visualization and controlled breathing, and made it through fine. The machine sure vibrates a lot and is quite noisy. I am optimistic this will help with my diagnosis. It is time to identify and correct, so I can get back to my life. We are expecting some light rain this weekend. After 2 weeks of PURE sunshine, I will not complain!!!! Enjoy your weekend.   

Well first, I made it thru my 2 day carb purge with no problems, so I decided to extend it one more day(today). In the 2 days I dropped 3 lbs and am hoping by the end of today, getting back to the 192 lbs where I left off over a month ago. To be honest, after a couple of days of carb purging, I really have no cravings. Kinda cool. So I’ll wrap up today, and see where it leaves me for weigh in on Friday. Yup, I’m back!!!!  Re: my health. The new Rx has helped with the burning in the chest, but now I have neck and upper back pain. Feels like whiplash and the Dr is ordering an MRI this week. Hopefully( fingers crossed) this will tell me something, and all the guessing and testing will end. Although a new and more uncomfortable pain came from the new Rx, at least we have isolated the part of the body causing the problems.  For that I am grateful. Will keep you posted.  I am feeling much more optimistic.Re: court crap- Big day on Monday. The ex and I are not in agreement, and my attorney is confident in our position. There will be no negotiations until then, so I have put it out of my mind for the time being.  I am actually feeling much more optimistic there as well.  I am going to drag a chair outside and enjoy the sunshine. I wish I could do more, but I am appreciative of my down time. Time to do some reflection, enjoy the sun and outdoors, and just chill. I know I need it. Have a great day everyone! Thanks for your kind words thru all this. They are much appreciated.     :–) 

Although not cleared for exercise yet, no need to put off eating properly again.  I started my 2 day carb purge this morning, with hopes of getting me back on track. With the kids home last week, we ate out( actually ordered in) and none of my choices were very good.  I believe I was stress eating again, and I have to stay on top of that! I am in the right frame of mind today, so here’s to weight loss and good, healthy eating.  Just a quick note to keep me accountable- may check back later with an update. 

This week’s weather could not have been more beautiful.  Every single day, sunny and in the 70’s. My children had the week off from school, so they were able to enjoy all of it. Between doctor visits, and trips to CVS, I was running around quite a bit. I think I changed medications 2-3 times this week. Trying to rule out ever last thing they can think of. The most recent try is, MAYBE I have a pinched nerve in my neck, upper spine, which would cause the pain to radiate to my chest, causing the burning.  Sounded plausible. So off all prior medication, onto a new nerve pain drug. Now it wont eliminate the problem, but if it works at killing the pain, then off to the neurologist. Oh, and you are warned it may cause drowsiness, so take at night. I have taken it for two nights, and each morning I wake, no hangover feeling( a doctor asked me this) but pain in my neck and now burning in my upper back.. Today the worst pain in my neck ever. So I have to follow up with him on Monday, but maybe, just maybe, we are getting somewhere. Thank all of you for your support during these hellish 5 weeks. OK, onto my eating……..With the kids home this week, and feeling like crap, we ordered out a lot. So to say the very least, I wasn’t very diligent about my food consumption.  I really do know what I have to do, so, I think on Monday, will power permitting, I am going to do the 2 day carb purge, and get back, where I left off. I have been wearing tank tops and shorts( around the house ONLY) and that in itself is a reminder that I have a ways to go. I’m not completely dis-satisfied, as I have lost 15 lbs ish (fluctuating right now up 3 lbs) and know it can be done with consistent eating.  I will ask the doctor if I can ride the recumbent bike, as it’s leg work. I know very little about back/nerve/disc stuff. If anyone has experienced anything like this, I’m all ears. My morale is good, I am optimistic. With all the doctor visits we have ruled out A LOT of really bad stuff. Having the heart issues cleared was the best news ever. All internal organs checked out fine. SO, although the saga continues, I am feeling it is nearing the end towards resolution.Speaking of resolution, I had a custody meeting on Friday w/ the ex, shrink, and kids attorney. No surprises. They thought if we met, they could facilitate some communication between the 2 of us. It was much of the same b/s. I was not there to be bullied by any of them, and it was a waste of 2 hrs and a whole hell of a lot of $$$$. I will also speak w/ my attorney on Monday. I think it is about to escalate, and then be resolved. Fingers crossed.Well, there you have my weekly update. I will try to get on here more often.  The last 5 weeks have been nothing less than ridiculous.  I had been very frustrated with the medical world, and there was no need to update on the daily nonsense. I am hoping to be back here in a more positive fashion very soon. I am hoping with this post forward, I can bring you positive info. Thanks for stopping by.