I slept in today, til almost 9am.  I am beginning to really feel better. It’s more of a mindset, actually, but the power of the mind is big for me. Sometimes it takes me a while to get there, but then I feel soo much better. My dear dh had all the curtains pulled back to let in the sunshine. That alone makes me feel better. Outside our living room window is our birdfeeder, and today we have many guests. Everything from our first robins of the season, to purple finches, chickadees, cardinals, blue jays. I have missed our feathered friends. They really do bring me a lot of joy. I then went and watered all my plants. They are also very responsive to the sunshine. I was experiencing life again. Things that bring me happiness. Home with the one I love. It has been a perfect morning.  My yoga studies fill me with hope and appreciation for what I have. I am enjoying my journey, and am making a conscious decision to to spend more time and energies on the positive. My recent health issues have shown me time is precious. It is crazy for me to waste another moment. I have a long life ahead of me, and I want to experience every last interest I have. Up til today, I have been quite a procrastinator. It’s always about tomorrow. I’m 46, and just now chasing my dreams. The way I see it, the first 1/2 of my life I cant change, and many of my experiences I wouldn’t anyway. I have 3 very wonderful children,  and many great memories. I also was very much a follower, and didn’t have a lot of confidence in myself. I have spent the last 4 years( separation/divorce ) working really hard on that, and feel very successful in my efforts.  Mondays court stuff, is no treat, but a challenge I will overcome. Good will win over evil this time.  I’m not a follower anymore.

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Well, I must say “Thank You” to all of you who have written. I went out today and bought some African red bush tea- Rooibos. I am looking forward to a warm cup shortly.  My rash is on it’s way out, so that is a relief. I spoke w/ my doctor, and the news was much better than I thought. I have been given the OK to exercise and have one more follow up and the BIG problems are behind me. I think the remaining “issues” are stress induced. I am going to work on making more time for relaxation, de-stressing each day. Whether its with exercise, yoga, meditation, , a good book, breathing exercises; I have to make it a priority.  I also filed my taxes today, and was pleasantly surprised with that. I received an email today from my Reiki teacher- it was an awesome little quiz, and I emailed it to some of you. I was amazed at how accurate it was. Really makes you think. I will post it here as well, for those of you that I dont have emails for. Please take it, and if you follow the directions, I think you will be quite amazed. I am going to do my 2 day fast again, maybe this weekend, and get myself back on course. After going thru all this medical stuff, it really gave me a new perspective on health, and LIFE!      Hope you all have a great weekend, and thanks for all your support. It really means a lot. 

Crazy as it may seem, with all that is going on, I wonder if this is a test of life? Could these challenges in fact be someone’s idea of a really bad joke? Just when I think I  am at the point of something positive, my world gets flipped upside down again. It’s funny, cause it doesnt stop me from moving forward, it just makes me wonder why? On top of all the crazy medical stuff, which I had made it thru, or so I thought, I have a full body rash from a dye they used. I am COVERED in an ITCHY red rash. I get a Rx for prednisolone, and it’s not helping. WHY? I really dont do well with the symptom, ITCHY. I have tried every last topical lotion and benedryl, with no success. The doctor says give it a couple days. It’s only gotten worse in the “couple days”.  why? The court stuff is on Monday, and yesterday I find out that there has been a lot of discussion on whats right, and I wasnt part of it. I’m the parent. why? This is a battle I am more than ready for, and am glad the day to speak my peace is near. I wonder if all this STRESS is why I am covered in a hive like rash? Then today I get an email, not a phone call, that I need to have certain documentation for Monday, that is impossible to get at this late notice. Why? I find my yoga training keeps me calm to a point, but when all else is CHAOS, my max point is reached. Phew….. that feels better. I consider myself a very kind, considerate person that doesnt deserve all this poop, and ask myself, have I done something wrong? Do good people get the poop at the end of the day, cause we take so much? I cant live my life any differently, or I wouldnt be me, but I sure would like to understand it a little better. I only want for good things to happen to others. I dont wish ill or bad fate on anyone. I respect others and do my best to be the best person I can be. The poop that is flying my way is unacceptable, and I have to find peace in all of it. I am hoping Monday’s court fiasco, where I can be myself fighting for what I believe is in the best interests of the children, will free me from some of this pent up frustration. Enough silence- I finally get to have a voice. I hope so anyway. Thank you all for allowing me this freedom of venting. I dont mean to burden anyone with it, just getting it out, and may it take the rash with it!!! If anyone has any old wives remedies, voodoo, or witchcraft potions, I’d be very open to your help. I HATE THE FEELING OF ITCHY!!!!!! Please, before I claw myself to death…. actually I did cut my nails way back, cause I scratch in my sleep. Did I happen to mention it’s everywhere? Thanks guys, promise to be more positive soon.      xoxoxoxoSandy  

Without going into too much  detail, I felt it important to update here, that I am temporarily not following much of a plan. My health has become an issue, and doctors and I are working to find some answers. I am on a number of meds right now, and have had to fast a couple of times for different procedures, so my eating is all off whack. I am not allowed to exercise at all, which will be the first thing I do when I get the ok to do so. On top of the medical stuff, I have the court stuff coming to a head on Monday, so to say the least, my plate is full, and I’m just doing my best to deal with it all. I will continue to be here to support all of you, and when the time comes for me to get back in the saddle, so to speak, I will be right back here with all of my efforts.  My yoga training, the educational, not physical part continues. It has helped me immensely in my dealings with all of this.  Staying grounded is key! I am getting great feedback from my instructors, and believe I am following my chosen path. There is a calmness that I am now experiencing, even as other things are quite chaotic.I appreciate all of your efforts, and am here to support and encourage each of you.  Keep up the great work.