Crazy as it may seem, with all that is going on, I wonder if this is a test of life? Could these challenges in fact be someone’s idea of a really bad joke? Just when I think I  am at the point of something positive, my world gets flipped upside down again. It’s funny, cause it doesnt stop me from moving forward, it just makes me wonder why? On top of all the crazy medical stuff, which I had made it thru, or so I thought, I have a full body rash from a dye they used. I am COVERED in an ITCHY red rash. I get a Rx for prednisolone, and it’s not helping. WHY? I really dont do well with the symptom, ITCHY. I have tried every last topical lotion and benedryl, with no success. The doctor says give it a couple days. It’s only gotten worse in the “couple days”.  why? The court stuff is on Monday, and yesterday I find out that there has been a lot of discussion on whats right, and I wasnt part of it. I’m the parent. why? This is a battle I am more than ready for, and am glad the day to speak my peace is near. I wonder if all this STRESS is why I am covered in a hive like rash? Then today I get an email, not a phone call, that I need to have certain documentation for Monday, that is impossible to get at this late notice. Why? I find my yoga training keeps me calm to a point, but when all else is CHAOS, my max point is reached. Phew….. that feels better. I consider myself a very kind, considerate person that doesnt deserve all this poop, and ask myself, have I done something wrong? Do good people get the poop at the end of the day, cause we take so much? I cant live my life any differently, or I wouldnt be me, but I sure would like to understand it a little better. I only want for good things to happen to others. I dont wish ill or bad fate on anyone. I respect others and do my best to be the best person I can be. The poop that is flying my way is unacceptable, and I have to find peace in all of it. I am hoping Monday’s court fiasco, where I can be myself fighting for what I believe is in the best interests of the children, will free me from some of this pent up frustration. Enough silence- I finally get to have a voice. I hope so anyway. Thank you all for allowing me this freedom of venting. I dont mean to burden anyone with it, just getting it out, and may it take the rash with it!!! If anyone has any old wives remedies, voodoo, or witchcraft potions, I’d be very open to your help. I HATE THE FEELING OF ITCHY!!!!!! Please, before I claw myself to death…. actually I did cut my nails way back, cause I scratch in my sleep. Did I happen to mention it’s everywhere? Thanks guys, promise to be more positive soon.      xoxoxoxoSandy