Well, took the vehicle to be diagnosed- seems cylinder 3 is missing fire- Spark plugs, I can handle! Phew……We will get all 6 replaced this week. Funny thing was, The car ran beautifully today to and from . Not one hiccup! Go figure.Today I reviewed my stats, and did some more research on zigzagging calories. I thought of, what if I have a high protein day, then a carb day. Not high , but the protein coming in higher today, then tomorrow, carbs will come in higher. I seem to have carbs coming in higher everyday, and my weight is stagnant.  I have not exercised and fear on Friday I will have maintained 198 lbs, with no loss. I’m going to finish today as a protein day, and see how I feel. I have had more energy today, but that may be because…………………………………………………..I GOT THE JOB!!!!  yes, I got the phone call around 3pm, and accepted promptly. I start on Monday. This along with the car fix, and the yoga teacher training…. what a week. We( DH and I) are having Filet Mignon tonight, baked potato and broccoli  to celebrate! Mmmmmm……..  

I took my car( 2002 Ford Windstar) out today, and although improved from yesterday, it still has problems. It seems to be associated with the fuel. I don’t know if bad gas would have it sputtering as I accelerate. It has a brand new fuel filter, and I don’t know where else to look. It idles perfectly, drives fairly well, unless climbing a hill, then it gets upset and chugs like it isn’t getting  gas. I don’t believe it is the tranny, it seems more gas related. Call it a feeling. I am going to take it for a diagnosis tomorrow. Auto Zone does it for free. See what kind of trouble I’m in.On a good note, I got my yoga teacher training stuff in the mail today. I am going to read later after dinner. Not sure what’ for dinner, maybe some flounder, sweet potato, and veggies. Mmmm, sounds good. Dinner is planned. Have a nice evening, catch up with you tomorrow. 

I am living my lifestyle change- It gets progressively easier each day. It is keeping my thoughts conscious, and not falling into a routine rut. The man that developed my Yoga training class, Aaron Hoopes, had an entry on his blog, which I found so applicable to us, here on the blog.  He is so wise- and I cant wait to meet him. ”I think that many people have a desire to be fit and healthy. The problem is that just having a desire is too vague. We tend to get caught up in living unconsciously and time passes. We then realize we haven’t living in a healthy manner. At this stage doing something for fitness becomes a chore. If we can keep ourselves in a mindful place and make mindful choices about how we treat our bodies we have a much better chance of getting to the place we really want to be. Always start with conscious breathing and take it from there. once the body gets more oxygen into it there is a much better impetus for movement. Make your fitness routine a habit…not an appointment. ”  I am so excited that my thoughts are so in line with his. It is truly amazing how our energies have been brought together. He doesn’t know me, or me him, but our ideals, join us. I am sooo excited to begin yet another journey with this class. WooooHooooooo!!!!!!!!!                               On a practical note- we changed the fuel filter and added some liquid to the gas, and the my vehicle seems to be idling much better.  I will take it out for gas in a little bit. Hop on the highway,  bring it up to speed and see how it goes. I am helpless without transportation. I had a brake light out too, so I fixed that all by myself. :–)  It is probably time to have a really pricey tune up, but not til I land me my job.Kids are with their father this week, the whole week, so I’m going to try and stay productive. I really suffer from separation anxiety when they are gone. I have to set some priorities and  keep on task. I will probably go to the library at some point. I am patiently waiting for the job “call”. I was led to believe it would be sometime this week. I am also suppose to receive my Yoga Teachers Training materials this week. I am so excited how things are gently falling into place. For dinner last night I had cooked up 2 crab/lobster cakes I bought at the market. I only ate one, as I had a sweet potato and mixed veggies. I still fill my plate like I use to, and I have to leave the table comfy not stuffed. I maybe could have eaten half the sweet potato. Again, I am learning, and experimenting.  I had a Jamaican beef patty the other day. Delicious, but 300+ calories for one. I could have one and a salad. That would be a decent lunch. I still struggle with thinking I need 2. One and a salad. That will be my mantra- one of anything and a salad. Yes! Salad is good.Have a great day everyone! 

Seems like these days are ticking away rather fast, and it’s not so much about the # of days anymore. It is a part of my every day. I am still tweaking my food choices. Seems my healthy veggie soup in a can, tastes great, but the sodium is over the top. I am not a big fan in the kitchen, so making my own, although a great idea, isnt going to work for me. I am a creature of convenience and my ignorant ways in the kitchen dont help. I can get by, but those of you that make yogurt, and grind your own flax- my hat’s off to you. I give you a lot of credit. I enjoy baking, thats about it. I dont have a very diverse sense of taste- I tend to stick with what I know. Probably the reason I am at the weight I’m at. If anyone has any quick or convenient food choices, to help break up my bland diet, I’m open. I have a couple small health food stores nearby. I need a good cookbook. Nothing complicated- something kid friendly. My son is strugling with his weight. He’s always been a “solid” kid, but within the last 4-6 weeks, seemed to get soft. He has a belly, and that scares me so. I had a long talk with him, explaining when we get too big, we are unhealthy or sick. He understood this, and went shopping with me and is very focused on eating better. I think I had done a fairly good job, but definitely room for improvement. When he goes to his fathers, they eat out a lot. McD, and other restaurants where he’ll get a burger and fries, grill cheese and fries. Desserts. He is with his dad this whole week, and he( 9 yrs old tomorrow) asked me this morning, how can he make good food choices. I explained he should ask for a salad, and try to stay away from “empty” foods. If they had pizza, have 3 slices instead of 6 and a salad. I am soooo proud of him for making an effort. He know’s I am, so I think he wants to do it with me. I have set some short term goals for him, and he seems excited. I think it really sunk in,  the message that this goes beyond just me. I can help my family, my family can help me.Weather here today is 54 degree’s and raining. Oh no, not again.  I got in my car to drive the kids to their dad’s and my check engine light came on. I ended up leaving my vehicle and taking DH’s. Once the rain stops we can go check under the hood. I’m really hoping it’s something minor. TBD…….Have a great Presidents Day! 

This has been a great weekend. I have regrouped and feel strong. I think acknowledging exercise needs to be fun, has increased my awareness significantly. Where as I use to stay inside and do chores when the kids go out to play. I want to play now too. When does the child in up grow up? Does it really have to? I guess we DO need to mature as we age, but I think a lot of todays society grows up way too fast.  Our goals change, and the first thing lost is having fun. We have to work long hours, to climb the corporate ladder, we have to take the vacations to keep up with the Jones, we have to join clubs and organizations, to keep our status.  In my opinion, by doing all this we lost the most precious things. We have no time for the family, we have no energy to work out, we are too busy to eat well, everything is about convenience. I say this because last July, I left a job that did exactly that.  Well, the job didnt, I was just caught up in the wrong mindset. I left the job, to have my family time back, to be able to cook and eat properly and to incorporate activities into my day. It wasnt until this January that it all clicked in my head. From July to Jan, I was basically living the same, just not working.  The importance of health and well being is on the top of my list now. For myself, as well as my children and DH. Yesterday’s epiphany about exercise, opened the remaining locked door to my success. I am not doing this just for me, but for my family. I dont want them to ever lose sight of the importance of living well.  Money is great, dont get me wrong, but not at that expense. I may return to my old work place, but so better prepared for it. It cannot control me like before; how I allowed it to.  I will never again sacrifice my health and well being, or the well being of my family. I cant go back, but I sure can look forward. I think I am more motivated today, as I see things even more clearly, than when I first started. This is a REAL LIFE lifestyle change, not only for me but my family. The children have been so receptive, it amazes me. There is no better gift I can give them. For that, I am proud .  

I am pleased to say, the “funk” has passed. After reading all your comments, I felt so much better. Your continued support has been amazing, and as Botzz says, we are in this together. I feel that more today than ever. Robyn, you summed it up. We really do have quite a friendship, although having never met face to face. So thank you one and all.I am back on track re: food choices- shopped today, and am excited about my new food choices for the week. We are dog-sitting for a friends 2 labs( 1 chocolate, 1 yellow ) and I was outside over an hour hula hooping and playing with the dogs, my DH, and my 8 (will be 9 on Tues) son. I was moving the whole time.  The neatest thing about it was it didnt feel like exercise. My epiphany of the day re: exercise- for me, I dread exercise because it feels like work. Any time I hop on the recumbent bike , the one thing that is constant is time. The more I think about time, the slower it goes. Playing, literally, outside I didnt once think about how long had I been out there. The sun was shining, and although a little chilly, once I got moving I was fine. Exercise needs to be fun. I need to think more like when I was younger. I would leave the house in the morning, and only go home for meals. We would still be playing outside after dark in the warmer months.The hula hoop was fun, but I got a lot of practicing to do. I want to get my hands on a Footsie or Skip It. Does anyone remember those? A ring that goes around one ankle, and you swing it around, skipping over it? I loved mine. I am soo looking forward to spring time. I do believe being outside is going to change my activity levels for good.Well, I’m going to look online for a Footsie/Skip It now. But again, THANK YOU al for your kindness and support, today especially, but really every day.Have a great weekend. See you here tomorrow. 

I dont know how or why, but yesterday was one of those days I questioned why I was doing this. I guess not why, but was there a different way. I felt as if I was depriving myself of foods I loved and missed, and to say the least I was demonstrating bad choices towards the end of the day. I went over by 200 calories for the day. Not a big deal by itself, but it’s important for me to see if there was underlying reasons, which I believe there is. To date, I have lost 9 lbs. Not a bad number, but of course I would like it to be more. I dont feel like it’s working so much lately. I dont know if it’s my food choices, I dont know if it’s from lack of exercise. And yesterday, by 5pm, I just didnt care. I ate candy( not too much) and pizza( 3 slices) and didnt feel bad. Now today, I’m trying to get back in the saddle, so to speak, but the passion just isnt there again. Do I need to take the weekend off, gain back some weight, only to infuriate me more? No. I just dont know where I’m going with this. I am so proud of the rest of you for your strength and persistence, yet I cant see the light. I dont want to beat myself up, I just want the last 40 days of a routine to mean something. I guess I’m eating better, but I really dont feel much better than when I was 9 lbs heavier. I need a sign. I want to feel better. Maybe the scale isnt the best way for me to see results. Maybe the scale is going to take some time.  Could these feelings be stress related? Maybe. Certainly I am  frustrated in other area’s of my life. I’m not giving up, I’m just trying to work thru this for some answers.  Please, if anyone has a secret to their success, or know’s magic( lol ), or some real life encouragement, I’m all ears.Will probably add to this tonight, so see how my day went.What a FUNK I’m in.  Ggrrrrrrrrrrrrr……………… 

Well, I didnt gain any weight.  lol. I am at 198. I have to tell you, I ate at Taco Bell last night, kinda late, so it may have impacted my results this morning. I had a rough week, not feeling well, then having times when my appetite came back full force. My carb ratio was highest it has been in a month. I’m not concerned. I chock it up to a strange week, and I enter this next week with a bright and optimistic attitude. I am going to watch the carbs.  No worries or regrets. I’ve got to figure out a way to keep my interest in riding my recumbent bike. It’s easy, it’s convenient, so why not just do it??Will keep this one short. Everyone have a great weeknd. 

Average daily calories- 1357     Ratio for Carbs/Proteins/Fats  52%/20%/28% Carbs are a little higher than last week.  Calories are right in line with last week, give or take.  I am wondering if protein should be a little higher, dropping the fats a little and carbs a little? A work in progress.After reviewing the 4 weeks worth of stat’s, I can summarize by saying each week, my carbs went up. I have noticed the last few weeks, the 2 lbs has been a little harder to attain. I am going to try and cut back a little on carbs, and up proteins and i think 25-30% is good for fats.  I think it is a realistic #. Will be weighing in shortly. 

I think today is the first day I have felt well for a week. YEAH!!!!  I had some oatmeal this morning- Figure it’s good for the cholesterol, and low in calories, and it warms me up. Nice change! I took off to my interview, after spending 1/2 my morning figuring out what was I going to wear. Not to impress, just what did I have that fits. I was able to pull it off, although my skirt is too big in the waist. I love the skirt, so I will have to take it in. Driving up to the “old job” was no big deal. I entered the building, only to have people that know me walk by me, not recognizing me. I have had my hair cut very short, and I guess I must look a lot different. I was told I looked very relaxed- stress free. Always nice to hear.Interview went extremely well.  Should hear something in the next few days. I dont lose any of my vacation/or years of service, so I will be vested come June 2008. YEAH!  It was great to see a lot of old friends, and all in all a great day.Funny, they have training going on and they had a “food day”. Something the company does a lot of. For just about any occasion, they have food catered, or bring in your own. No one ever bring in healthy food, it’s always donuts, desserts, full calorie food. When I first got out of the interview, I was offered a sandwich, meatball w/cheese. I quickly refused, and must remember this is a place that can sabotage even the strong at will. Must always have healthy snacks on hand.Have a great day!