Round

I got on the scale this morning and was down one pound from last Monday.  Great, I’ll take it.

Especially because for the first time in a long time I’m feeling like what I’m doing now is decreasing the stress in my life and is enjoyable.  If I can live like this and lose weight, I can’t complain.

I ate generally healthy this week - not much meat as our beloved butcher closed forever, and what I did buy I stuck in the freezer when I realized I’d be solo for dinners most nights of the week.  I cooked a fair amount, and some of my old favorites and new one as well - I made chopska salad (Bulgarian), spring rolls (yum yum - that’s the new fave), last night I even made fish for myself, which is a shocker since I rarely eat fish, let alone make it, let alone by myself, but there was a small piece of my favorite fish (monkfish) at the market yesterday and so I grabbed it.

I had normal food during lunches (working ones) and ended up eating a fair amount of bread, as we had sandwiches 3 days running.  Plus one of the evenings a work dinner where I had pasta w a cream sauce (a mistake on my part, I should have asked more questions of the waiter, it wasn’t even very good for all those calories)…

Of course, quite likely the real reason for the pound of fat feeling free to leave me is the exercise.

Here’s how I did on exercise for the week :

• Monday July 7 : Swimming  45 min plus walking 40 min
• Tuesday July 8 : rest day
• Wednesday July 9 : 15 min light walking plus swimming 40 min
• Thursday July 10: 60 min light walking
• Friday July 11 : 40 min light walking
• Saturday July 12 :60 min serious walking, 120 min light walking
• Sunday July 13 : 40 min Swimming

I am not making a plan for this week because I don’t know what I’ll be able to do.  I am motivated to do a lot, but this week that might not be smart.

I will need to be more careful with diet if I don’t get in as much exercise, that’s for sure…

Planning, planning, planning.

There is nothing that can take it’s place, is there? Without a plan things rarely take the form we’d like - even with a plan it can be hard.

There is no way I’m going to be able to get in exercise if I don’t plan it.

So here’s the plan for the week, written down, visible, committed and able to hold myself accountable.

• Monday July 7 : Walk to and from appointment (40 min) AND either swimming or elliptical
• Tuesday July 8 : Some form of serious cardio
• Wednesday July 9 : 15 min light walking (get off metro early)
• Thursday July 10: 15 min light walking (get off metro early)
• Friday July 11 : cardio
• Saturday July 12 : cardio
• Sunday July 13 : cardio

At least one, maybe more, of these days towards the end of the week might be rest days.
And just to report in on this past week - I made my focus coming back to exercise and I did a pretty good job of it.

• Friday June 27 : swim
• Saturday June 28 : walk
• Sunday June 29 : swim
• Monday June 30: none
• Tuesday July 1 : 15 min walk
• Wednesday July 2 : 45 min walk
• Thursday July 3 : 15 min walk
• Friday July 4 : 15 min walk
• Saturday July 5 : 75 min walk
• Sunday July 6 : 40 min elliptical

All in all it adds up to something that would not have me thinking I was a complete slug 2 weeks ago… Plus I’m down 3 pounds today.

Well, my “think it over” phase was longer than I’d wanted and came with a small backslide (up 2 pounds), but has left me full of new ways to approach this weight-loss lifestyle with peace and enjoyment.

Sandra Ahten has a great approach to falling off the wagon - that our goal should not be to avoid those times altogether, but to have them be less frequent, less long and less deep. I think I’ve made progress on all fronts with this 10-day slipup. Other than a few noteworthy sessions with bread and butter or vanilla ice cream, the overeating wasn’t crazy, and the veggies, water and fruit were still present.

I’m not trying to lose for a wedding or specific date, and for me SANITY is much more important than rapid weight loss, so I’m not expecting big losses every week. But no accountability is dangerous too - very easy to gain.

That’s why I think that following my measurements would be a better choice for now. My real ultimate goal is not a number on a scale, it’s a size I want to wear, and sizes = inches, not pounds.

Ok, so here is today’s starting point (I’ve always weighed in on Mondays because it helps me focus over the weekends, so I’ll keep to Monday check-ins).

I’m measuring my belly because that’s my biggest problem area.

I’m measuring in centimeters because I live in France and couldn’t find a measuring tape in Imperial measurements. The added bonus to that is that I have no emotional attachments to numbers in centimeters that I do in inches (that stupid song with “36-24-36″ is popping into my head!). One added bonus - my tape measure is totally portable so it can come with me on vacation (which my scale cannot).

Since my belly is my focus and I know measurement to be inherently tricky to get right I am measuring 3 spots on my belly - my natural waist, the lower bulging part of my belly, and the upper part (biggest part between my natural waist and where my bra sits.

Here’s the starting point :

• Upper belly : 102
• Wasit : 99.5
• Lower belly : 120

This is not good - I’m up FOUR pounds.

I didn’t weigh in last Monday because we were out of town celebrating our anniversary and I didn’t want the pressure of a Monday weigh-in to cut into the pleasure of the weekend.

I then headed into a week that was difficult, with tons of travel and zero meals at home until Friday night (which was planned as a dinner out too, but at the last minute we decided to eat in). I also had none of the healthy staples in the fridge (fruit, veggies, yogurt, etc) and was traveling and running around from meeting to meeting all week. Somewhere later in the week I lost momentum and stopped doing the daily planning and recording sheets, and this weekend ate less-than-ideally.

Still, FOUR POUNDS GAINED? I ate reasonably most of the time and made a LOT of good choices. I knew I hadn’t eaten consistently at diet-level so I was expecting to see a small gain, but FOUR POUNDS is pretty ridiculous.

Well, I’m back at it, nose to the grindstone this week…

I had a good and focused week, really profiting from a heavy workload and traveling husband. Here’s how I did with my goals for the week :

1. Create daily intentions and keep it in mind all day - progress! I finally wrote a good intention statement and have been writing it out daily “My life expands as I take good care of my body”
2. Consistently make good food choices - yes yes yes!!! This is getting easier!
3. Keep daily track of the number of fruit & veggie servings - tracking this helps keep it in focus, my average for the week was 9 per day
4. Investigate your resistance to exercise. Make yourself a deadline to try the public pool and a date by which you will either be in a new plan or re-join the gym. - haven’t done it, it remains a goal for the next week
5. A four-day challenge : use my daily diet planning sheets TWICE a day to see what that double-dose adds - did well at this all week except the weekend — will keep it a goal

I’m going to stick to these same goals for next week, and try to make progress on the exercise one.

I lost one pound this week, bringing me to -9 pounds from my re-start. It feels like a drop in the bucket, but at the same time 9 pounds and several weeks is starting to feel like I’m on my way. I am looking forward to crossing the 10 pound mark and even more looking forward to kicking the 200’s to the curb. I’d like to do that before summer vacation, although I am really not a fan of time-based weight goals.

This coming week will not be an easy one. My team has a huge presentation on Friday which will keep me hopping until then (lots of meetings in hotels, lunches and dinner meetings too). Despite the conditions, I’m confident I can make good food choices during the week.

Friday night the pressure ends, but the weight-loss challenges begin. Dinner with a dear friend from out of town on Friday, and then we’re going away to the Champagne region for our 1st wedding anniversary - with quite a focus on fine dining and wine. We’re going to be staying at a chateau that has a top-rated restaurant, and we have a tasting scheduled at a fabulous small champagne producer. This will not be a weight-loss weekend (nor will it be a free-for-all).

My plan is to have a focused week on diet, try to walk some over the weekend, and to make decent choices this weekend. I have decided to skip next week’s weigh-in and weigh-in instead on the following Monday (June 16), when I will have had a week back on track.

I reviewed last week and it was really good.

I did great at my 2 day meeting, which was NOT an easy task. I went on to have a good week, preparing lots of healthy stuff, and not letting a stomach bug be an excuse to overeat when I felt better. I managed to stay on track this weekend, which I think is the first time I’ve done well on a weekend since I started back.

These are the goals I set for myself for the week, along with how I did :

1. Create daily intentions and keep it in mind all day : took me a few days to get to this, but I did it on Thursday and have used it since
2. Consistently make good food choices : yes!
3. Keep daily track of the number of fruit & veggie servings : I did - my average was 10 servings a day!
4. Be careful with cheese : I was. Had cheese 2x, but both times is was AS the protein at dinner, not in addition to…
5. A four-day challenge : use my daily diet planning sheets TWICE a day to see what that double-dose adds : this has been hard, I did better than the previous week, but still have a ways to go.

Still to be addressed is exercise - I’m going to start thinking about my resistance to it, because it is multi-factorial and I need to understand the whys to get to the solutions. I had every opportunity to go walk on both Sat or Sunday yet I didn’t.

The scale rewarded me with a nice 3-pound loss (which includes the PMS bloat that drove me +1 the previous week). All in all, I’m down 8 pounds in 5 weeks, and while I still have a long ways to go, the number of pounds lost is starting to feel meaningful. I’m still in the Fat Clothes and will be until I’m at least 10 pounds lighter than right now, but at least I’m not busting out of the Fat Clothes anymore.

My goals for this week will be :

So, what are my goals for this week? Mainly I’m staying the same, switching out one, since my challenge w cheese is mainly when my DH is around (and he’s gone this week!)

1. Create daily intentions and keep it in mind all day
2. Consistently make good food choices
3. Keep daily track of the number of fruit & veggie servings
4. Investigate your resistance to exercise. Make yourself a deadline to try the public pool and a date by which you will either be in a new plan or re-join the gym.
5. A four-day challenge : use my daily diet planning sheets TWICE a day to see what that double-dose adds

I am going back to using a formula that worked for me for a long time several years ago : writing up a plan for the week with a limited number of goals for the week.  Next week I’ll check in on how I did on these and setting new goals.  The idea is that something stays a goal until it becomes easy, then it can be replaced w something else.  Baby steps meets accomplishments!

So, what are my goals for this week?

1. Create daily intentions and keep it in mind all day
2. Consistently make good food choices
3. Keep daily track of the number of fruit & veggie servings
4. Be careful with cheese
5. A four-day challenge : use my daily diet planning sheets TWICE a day to see what that double-dose adds

I have some ideas for future goals, including starting in on exercise w a 15-min a day goal for 3 days a week, and setting a standard wake-up time of 6:30am so I can find time to do it.  Currently my wake up time changes each day depending on my schedule, but I’m wondering if I’d be helped having more consistency in wake-ups where some days of the week I’d have a few extra minutes, other days I won’t.   For now, it’s just an idea brewing…

This week has one two-day meeting in Brussels, so less control of food for those 2 days, and 3 normal but busy work days.  Our weekend for the moment looks blissfully free of major committments, so I’m hoping to be able to really focus.  The fridge is stocked, the celery and radishes already cut up, a few healthy leftovers are available for a quick dinner, and enough other veggies to challenge my creativity in the kitchen. 

My weigh-in this morning showed the scale +1, which wasn’t a huge surprise nor disappointment, as last week’s -4 seemed surprising.  I’ve also got some major bloating going on (in part due to the carb-fest at yesterday’s brunch) so it was no surprise to be up one pound, and it was in fact a good signal to me.  If I want to lose without exercising I need to be really careful with my diet, not just ‘pretty careful’ as I have been this past week. 

I got on the scale this morning and was very happy to see a new decade - the scale read 209.

I actually think that it’s probably abnormally low and won’t be too surprised to see it the same or up one next week, but the needle moving in the right direction is a great motivation to keep going and settle into this for the long haul. That idea of settling in long term has been a real point of resistance for me in the last two weeks - I keep thinking through all the things I need to do long-term to manage my weight long-term and it’s seemed so impossible and overwhelming.

But in fact, it’s not that big a deal. I went to the gym this week and instead of being filled with anxiety and pain, I was really happy I did it, and was remembering those rare sessions where I touched that “exercise high” and was looking forward to getting back that feeling, plus the general comfort of moving my body better.

And food, in moderation and with attention, actually tastes better and is more pleasurable than that numb overeating I’ve been doing for so long (and recently). This weekend was a case in point - we were away with friends in Brittany and all the food was brought by the friends - I had no control of what would be served (an argument point between me and my DH…). In the end it was fine, plenty of veggies were on hand, and there were also many fruits even if I wasn’t partaking of them as I should have. In general I ate fairly reasonably (although certainly not diet, and I need to find a way to lay off the cheese).

This week is a busy one work-wise, but the biggest weight-loss challenge will be the fact that the house is completely un-stocked due to our having been away for most of the past 2 weeks.

Well, the trip to London was not without its price - I’m up one pound this morning.

I’m not too surprised - walking all over the place can only partially offset 2 servings of gelato, toffee pudding, smoothies and all the other yummy but caloric fare we took in over the past few days. But the walking was good for my heart, my legs, and my spirit.

In general our meals were reasonable but certainly not dieting, but most of the the breakfast choices were reasonable. It’s probably the number of “square” meals and all the snacks did me in

Although I had hoped to maintain this week (knowing losing was asking too much) I actually consider the week a success, because I was doing well before heading to London, and in London I did make several good choices (even if I made several bad ones too). But mostly because I started on this weight-loss path again even though I knew I had this weekend coming up. And since I had really toyed with the idea of “starting” after the trip, I am so glad that I started beforehand, so the one pound gain is actually a non-event. Had I chosen to keep putting off getting serious again, I probably would have gained at least another 5 pounds in the past few weeks, having my “last” of many many treats…

As for the pound, I’m not too worried about it - I have 3 normal days before we’re off for another long weekend, but the coming weekend should be more reasonable (staying in France but going away w friends).

I’ve lost 3 pounds! I would normally weigh in Monday, but since I was out of town Monday morning I did it Sunday, and was glad to see 3 pounds gone of the shocking high weight of 215.

I am mainly happy what I have gained, however : A more optimistic outlook and feeling better about myself. I’ve gotten back in control of my food, and even started walking a bit.

It is such a change to be able to want to come here and share good news instead of the weeks and weeks where I just wanted to hide & cry…

I was still coming to post from time to time on my blog, but with such despair and self-hatred. I am pretty proud of the fact that despite the backsliding I managed to come here from time to time anyway - I credit that to the goals I made for 2008 and not wanting to see myself failing at all of them (one was keeping up the blog - most of the rest have been big failures so far this year…).

Anyway, 3 pounds are gone so I have something to show for my efforts, and even without something to show I’m really pleased to be back.