WHY “ROUND” ?

“Round” is translated from French “ronde” — which is used like “curvy” — as a non-negative word for “fat”.

I like the idea of using a new vocabulary, and new attitude, about my body.

I have no intention to not stay “round” — I’d just like to be a smaller round.

WHO AM I ?

I am someone who is both on the journey to a healthy weight, and also simultaneously living as both a victory and a failure.

I am a thirty-something professional, recently married. I am American & I live in France.

My victory : I successfully and permanently lost around 60 pounds (high weight of 250+, where I lived for all of my 20’s and then some). I have successfully maintained my weight below 195 for the past 4 years. For this accomplishment, I am a member of the National Weight Control Registry.

My failure : I never achieved my ultimate weight loss goal of 150 pounds. I briefly touched 167, but quickly regained 20 pounds upon taking an international transfer with my company. Since 2004 my weight has been +/- 5 pounds of 190.

My journey : I learned a TON about weight loss & weight control over the years. I know things that work for me, and things that don’t. I don’t always put that knowledge to use. I have learned a relatively ‘healthy lifestyle’ approach that works without too much difficulty to maintain my weight at around 190. I have not been successful in shedding more than about 15-20 pounds since I’ve been in France, and each time I’ve lost, I have always regained.

My motivation : I would like to be at a lower weight for health reasons (long term disease prevention, short term back health & fertility) and also for ‘ease of living’ reasons (buying clothes in normal sizes in this country of SMALL women). I want to be happy with myself & see the beauty of myself at all sizes.

I have been fat all of my life, and have some deep-seated emotional issues around my body image & self-love. I do not think it is a coincidence that I found True Love only after I had done major work on my body — I became more confident and accepting of myself as I lost weight and kept it off, which allowed me to be open to love in my life.

UPDATE NOVEMBER 2007 : My weight has jumped up to a 6-year high of 202 (as of 14 October). I recently miscarried and am trying to get my weight back to a manageable level (at least 180) . I am trying to do this low-stress, because I have enough stress in my life right now.

UPDATE APRIL 2008 : My weight is up again. I managed to hold my weight around 199 through the holidays but since then it’s been drifting (well, more like syrocketing!) upwards. None of my clothes fit and I feel terrible about myself, and I’m feeling ready to address this now.