Full of excuses but moving on anyway
Getting back on track June 27th, 2008I have been full of excuses lately.
Some are legitimate, some are not, but all, in the end, are just excuses.
I have been really sad these past few weeks as the due date for the pregnancy I lost last Fall came and went, with me still not pregnant despite a lot of efforts, and now getting pumped up with hormones that will hopefully turn the situation around. The hormones add bloating, pounds and emotions, along with some stress.
During times of stress I still have the reflex to turn to my dear old friends fat, flour and sugar and whatever other guests they might add to the mix to make it a real rockin’ party. We’ve been partying heavily recently, and I’ve really been stuck in a bad cycle.
I have decided to focus my efforts for the next few weeks on gentle but regular exercise. I’ve been feeling like a big slug for a long time now and with summer here now I want to be able to do things like light hiking, and I feel like I won’t even make it though that.
Years and years ago I liked swimming for exercise - I did it several times a week for several months, but then moved and never again was in a gym w a pool. I have rarely gone to a pool for exercise since that time, but I’d really like to try going back to that. I’m not sure how I’ll like the public pool system here in Paris - will it be dirty and gross? Will the communal showers freak me out too much? Will it be a hassle with the limited hours? Will the logistics work with my life (their limited hours vs my available hours)? I’ve been thinking about swimming for about 10 months now (since last Sept when my doctor gave me the okay for that after back surgery) but all of these questions (plus the lack of motivation!) kept me from going. Well, I won’t have the answers if I don’t try it, so I will go this weekend.
In the meantime, most of my exercise will be concentrated around walking and maybe using my dust collector elliptical machine that I have at home.
Also, due to the hormonally-induced extra bloating (and the very probably weight regain) I’ve decided to NOT track my weight for the next few weeks, but instead to track my waist measurement. I clearly need accountability but am afraid that using the scale right now will be counter-productive. In addition, the only tape measure I could find is in centimeters, which is a meaningless measure to me (meaning - no emotions attached to certain numbers) so I figure it’s a great place to start. I’ll measure every Monday, and post them on the “progress” page. I’m guessing I’ll add the scale back at some point too…
June 27th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
stop THINKING about the pool and just GO. make a trip out there today to check out the faclities. i forced myself to do that with the gym 2 years ago, and it was the best decision i could’ve made. just DO it.
good luck on the pregnancy front. seriously. hubby and i are about the be in the same predicament. i had a milestone bday this year, and all my friends and family are having babies, so it’s hard. they want to start me on the pills, but i’m still holding off with hope that the Lord will bless us.
here’s to a renewed interest in being happy and healthy. we can do this. you can do this!
-kt
June 27th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Welcome back, Amigo! I was getting worried about you. Life does not always give us what we want but you’re strong enough to handle whatever comes your way. I agree with kt…just go! Sometimes we put things off until they become these monstrous barriers in our minds and it’s really a simple thing. Just go. Whether it works out or not, at least you’ll know.
Hugs!
Sistah Pat
June 27th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Yeah, I’ve had the same problem with pools, gyms, even bike trails. What if? What if? What if?
& your questions/concerns are legitimate, but figure you lose a few hours tops finding out the answers to those questions & if it works, you win/you swim & if it doesn’t, no great loss.
I’m sending positive thoughts your way that you’ll get pregnant this summer!
June 27th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Welcome back and good luck.
I know how hard it is to go through a pregnancy loss. I have a hard time staying on plan around the time I lost my baby and the due date. Im here if u need to talk.
June 27th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Welcome back…I’ve been thinking about you past few days. I’d say just go and start your swimming. If that’s something you enjoy it’s likely that you’ll stick with it more. And once you start enjoying it I bet you’ll make time for it. That’s what I’ve been doing with my work out routine. I don’t like to exercise but I’ve just been doing it nothing else to it. I said to myself I have to do it period. Good luck!! Sending Will power and good vibes towards you my friend.
I’m sorry about the prenancy loss *hugs*
Oh and good decision about not weighing for a while. It is so hard. I tell myself everyday I’m not going to weigh today but I just can’t seem to keep away from it more than 2 days
Maybe you can hide your scale in some corner and forget it
I’m glad you’re back.
June 28th, 2008 at 3:03 am
Welcome back. You are such a trooper. You are so good at that whole get-back-up dust-off try-again thing. Inspirational : )
June 28th, 2008 at 4:36 am
Scales are evil and even a bit of exercise will make you feel better about yourself. I ALWAYS spend the first ten minutes of any activity trying to talk myself out of it and into going home. But after I get through that I have found (to my surprise) that I actually am proud of being able to move. You’ll probably love the feeling of being back in the pool.