I have been busy busy but I’m still on track.
In fact, I’ve been doing really well most of the time and I’m bursting w great blog ideas, but don’t have time for them to take form right now, so this is just a quick update.
In the past few days I have been the jet-set girl. 4 flights in 3 days, 2 top-notch hotels, sightseeing, art, nature, and work too. Lots of walking, and lots of eating lessons…
A real post tomorrow - promise!
Where do some of the ideas in Low Stress Weight Loss come from?
Mainly from my own history and my own successes and failures. But I have always read a LOT of diet books and magazines and listened to podcasts, and read blogs etc too - to keep up the motivation. But that kind of intensity is exhausting, and rapidly crosses the border from “interest” to “obsession”.
The biggest guideline for “Low Stress Weight Loss” is to eliminate the stress I’ve so often felt while attempting to lose weight. So out go the daily weigh-ins, out goes calorie counting, out goes long frequent sessions at the gym. And I’ve also radically cut back on my reading diet books and magazines, and listening to diet-and-fitness podcasts. Basically aside from this blog and seeing Dr Hope every 2 weeks, I’m just on my own.
That said, a lot of my approach is based on what I’ve learned over the years. There are a few books that have had a substantial influence on my current thinking, and some books and websites that go in the same direction. To be clear - I’m not following any of these plans specifically, but I think there are some good ideas in a lot of them, and some of those ideas are similar to what I’m working on.
There are two books that have had a pretty major influence on me. The first is “The Path of Least Resistance”, by Robert Fritz, which is a general self-help book I bought and read maybe 15 years ago. The basic premise is that your life will go in the direction that you make to be the easiest for you. So if you want to change something you need to think about all the things that keep you where you are so you can build new ways into your life to go in a new direction. I got this book for reasons having NOTHING to do w my weight, but I’ve applied the principles to job, weight, relationship, etc - and I think reading this book fundamentally affected the way I looked at personal change.
A more recent book I can recommend is “Mindless Eating” by Brian Wansink. I bought this book because it seemed interesting (a mix of psychology and marketing), not really for “diet” reasons. He is a university guy who runs a food center at Cornell where they do a lot of the work that is behind the manipulative packaging and context of eating - or more to the point, overeating. His book kind of walks you through the way portions, context, etc contribute to overeating, and he made an attempt to make it diet-y by adding some mild suggestions of how you can incorporate that knowledge to change your behavior and lose weight. Because it’s not a typical diet book perspective and the ‘diet’ hand is pretty light it’s refreshing. And it was maybe the first time I saw anyone write down that making a few small changes you could lose 1-2 pounds a month pretty painlessly but that over time that would really add up. So the idea sat in the back of my head for a few months until I was again unhappy w my weight and ready to do something about it, and that’s when it kind of cemented for me - so I’d say his book was a major influence, even if not directly.
A few months ago when I started all this I was looking for some more understanding and found on the web several sources that talk about “intuitive eating” and it’s twins (”mindful” and “normal”). I haven’t read books on the topic or spent more than a few minutes finding sites and bookmarking them, but I thought I’d share some of what I found for those who are looking to explore this type of approach further.
My personal issues aren’t really binge-eating, nor do I feel the least bit receptive to Overeaters Anonymous, but both of those topics have lots of info in the same vein, and a lot of people seem to find them helpful. I also tend to avoid the “emotional eating” stuff, because I am someone who tends to put more emphasis on BEHAVIOR than anything else, and what I’ve stumbled upon on emotional eating hasn’t really pushed my buttons.
Of what I’ve found online and liked, the most popular seems to be “Intuitive Eating” by Tribole & Resch, who have written a book (which I don’t have and haven’t read) but they have good (and free) info on their website : http://www.intuitiveeating.com/
The other search term I had success with is “normal eating” where there are a few authors and “mindful eating” where again there are a few authors. Here is a link to a mindful eating site http://www.tcme.org/patientNewsletter.htm
Muesli is a Swiss breakfast cereal thing. It’s a whole-foods miracle, packing a nutritional powerhouse into a yummy and nutritious morning meal. It’s as fast as cold cereal as long as you’ve put the basic mix in the fridge the night before, but tastes better and lasts longer in the tummy.
I’ve had it from time to time in European hotels and the last time I had it, I decided it was so delicious and obviously healthy that I’d learn to make it, so I looked it up online, found some recipes & started playing. I now make it every few days, and I do it without a recipe.
One warning : it tastes really good but it looks really terrible.
Here’s how I make it :
All this goes in a bowl that will go in the fridge (I use a Tupperware)
Let sit overnight. Leave it in the fridge as is, add more liquid if necessary.
When I make this, it lasts me for 3 breakfasts. If I think my DH will have some I make more, but he rarely has breakfast at home, and when it does it usually involves butter slathered on something.
To eat : put some in a bowl but leave room, you’re adding more stuff
There you have it, muesli. Easy and very healthy breakfast - tons of fiber, a bit of fruit, some calcium and protein (yogurt & nuts), calories are reasonable and it really fills you up. For those on low-carb plans obviously this won’t work. To cut down on calories cut out the dried fruit and nuts.
Not very expensive, very fast, healthy, what more can you want? You don’t need to eat it every day either, it keeps in the fridge easily for one week.
I have made steel-cut oats for breakfast all the time for over 5 years and I find this a good alternative. It only takes me a minute to throw it together and stick it in the fridge, and I have breakfast ready to go for several days. I used to make a big batch of oatmeal once a week and then zap it in the microwave every morning. This is even easier, and that was pretty easy.
I’m pretty heavy into organic food and whole grains, and this easily fits the bill on both counts too.
The hardest part?
Yeah, you guessed it…
Same as always :
Leaving a bite uneaten 
I like to call what I’m doing “Low Stress Weight Loss”. It’s my own thing, that’s for sure, built on years of my dieting experiences. Over time I learned what worked for me, and I’ve spent the past few years learning that what worked for me once doesn’t work for me now.
I would say 2007 was the year of waking up - realizing I can’t keep doing the same thing and frustrating myself, that in order to manage my weight in my new life, I needed a new approach. This realization came gradually, probably becoming most clear to me when I pushed myself way too hard at the gym and aggravated whatever underlying back problem I already had.
My wedding was coming up and I was determined to drop some weight. I pushed myself HARD at the gym, going for 60-90 minutes 6 days a week, trying all the machines, and somewhere in there I ruptured a disk and within 3 weeks mild sciatica became horrible, incapacitating pain, rendering me unable to walk 10 feet. I was unable to work, unable to think, unable to move. I took a lot of painkillers. I canceled my honeymoon, sucked down the morphine, tried all kinds of steroid injections, made it through the wedding (a bit loopy!) and had surgery when I should have been on my honeymoon.
I’m much better now, the surgery cleared up the problem of the back and pain right away, but the issue of how to manage my weight with my new full, wonderful Parisian life was still gnawing away at me. Out of terror of not fitting into my wedding dress I kept my weight stable through all the trauma, but after the second wedding party (in the US) all discipline dissolved and another 20 pounds arose. I’m still 2 pounds up from what I had considered to be the high-end of my “buffer zone” for the past 5 years.
Over the past 5 years my weight was usually around 185, went up to 195, down to 175 in cycles. I have not been happy at that weight here - probably because in France people are skinnier than in the US. At the same weight I feel like I fit in in America, and as a person who has always been fat, that is a great feeling. But here at the same weight I’m REALLY fat, and all the social stigma that goes with it is present. So for as long as I’ve been here, I’ve wanted to get my weight down by a good amount.
But it’s just recently that I’ve come to the clear conclusion that I can’t lose weight successfully the same way I did in the past. Counting calories and other strict diet programs makes me obsess about food and become draconian with my daily choices. I see the world full of things I can’t have, daily, constantly. I think about food all the time - what I can have, what I’ll have next, do I have calories left over, what will I have to eat at the next meal if I eat that, etc… It’s EXHAUSTING.
And going to the gym in a non-gym culture is hard too. My life isn’t organized to get to the gym. I have no more excuses than anyone else to avoid exercise, but the truth is right now I’m not ready to carve out the time for it. I might someday go back to the gym, but not right now. And I acknowledge and accept that I will have slower weight loss because of it. For now, it’s the right choice for me. Long term, I want to be fitter, not just thinner, so I’ll need to work out a way to get more exercise, but at least for right now, I know that what I always considered a “real workout” will just add stress to my life. Stinky hot dirty and run down expensive Parisian gyms will have one less client for a while longer. Long walks a few times a week is what I can commit to.
Mindful is my key word for the week. Eating Mindfully. Meaning - pay attention, think-while-you-eat. Remember you’re eating with the intention to LOSE weight.
Mindful of moving my body around a bit more than I have been. Walking 3 times would be nice but I’ll take 2 if I have to, it would still be an improvement.
Mindful in mindset too. Keeping a picture in my mind’s eye of what I’m trying to accomplish and what life will be like to get there and once I am at the goals.
Today’s mindful push was on to the scale. Yes, boys and girls, it’s that time again… After months of scale-free living I decided to go back to the little square on a more regular basis, but I am still doing my best to not let the scale rule my life. So every 2 weeks seems like a good timeframe - far apart enough to see even small progress, close enough to avoid any major detours, and spaced so as not to drive me crazy. I decided to do the weigh-ins on Monday mornings because that time slot has always helped keep me focused over the weekend.
The scale showed 197, which is a 2 pound loss from two weeks ago. I’m quite pleased, I would take this as success for one month, not just 2 weeks.
Slow and steady, as they say.
Being away from home for a week gives one an appreciation of the simple foods of daily life. I am craving fresh veggies - as simple as possible, fresh fruit & lots of water.
I went to the market today and stocked up. Yesterday I didn’t have the courage to face shopping so we made due with what was in the house, which was basically carbs and meat - my husband is rather predictable!
But today, crisp apples, juicy pears and succulent clementines joined the lineup, as did brussel sprouts, leeks and carrots. I also bought the closest thing I could find to pinto beans at the market and some split peas, and I have a split pea soup simmering on the stove as I write this. I found a recipe online that used bacon instead of a ham hock, because I don’t have any idea how to say ham hock in French, and the idea of a big bone thing in my soup is not appealing - the bacon comes pre-chopped in little packages here, so no touching is involved… I’m a real wimp when it comes to handling meat.
I’m hoping to get it together to go for a walk later today… no promises however, I’m pretty tired and my husband booked a massage for us in the late afternoon.
This week it’s back to a normal routine. The goal is to walk at least 3 times this week, and keep up with the paying attention while I eat, leaving something uneaten at each meal, and keeping the food diary. We are going away for the weekend on Friday morning, and I expect the weekend to be a pretty indulgent affair, food-wise. I’m going to try to really heavy-up the veggies all week in anticipation.
I got home around 10pm last night and am very happy to be back in my own bed, and happy to have more control over my schedule again. I’m also happy to no longer be eating in that hotel, but I must say I am grateful for the experience.
I spent the whole week “thinking-while-I-ate” and had pretty good results. I left something on my plate almost all the time (I forgot to during one lunch). I did a pretty good job of listening to my hunger and drank all the water. Except for champagne the last “gala dinner” night, I didn’t drink. Where I saw the biggest impact was in paying attention to the pleasure from my food - which in this case was more the LACK of real pleasure in the giant buffet.
The truth is I am like you - I usually wolf down whatever is around, good or not good, out of habit. I fully credit my nearly miraculous ability to eat reasonably this week on the several weeks of training I’ve had in paying attention to the pleasure in my food.
In my food diary is a column where I mark how much pleasure a particular food has given me. I choose to rate it on a scale of (-) for negative, (=) for neutral, and then (+) or (++) or (+++). I am not 100% on keeping the food diary, but do it more days than not, and so that’s lots of foods rated and evaluated over the past 2 months or so.
The ratings force an awareness, an evaluation, and a realization that some foods taste better than others, some things satisfy more in certain conditions.
I am still in my infancy in this approach, but for the first time in my life, this week I was able to face a buffet table of pasta in sauces and a huge dessert spread without the slightest hesitation or panic. I overate nothing. I often put stuff on my plate that only made ONE trip into my mouth, quickly deciding that it wasn’t GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT.
Nothing was BAD, mind you. Everyone else was happy with the food, and they’re all French and as such, relatively demanding in terms of quality. But big buffet meals served out of warming trays can only reach a certain level of refinement (and this place didn’t even hit that standard). By the end of the week I’d learned which foods the resort did best, and I’d learned to eat a pretty hearty breakfast knowing that lunch for me was always a light affair.
I’m extremely pleased with myself for having shown an ability to have a markedly different relationship w food in two situations that are usually very difficult for me (buffets and work meetings).
I’m hoping this is really the beginning of the new eating habits I’m working on in Low Stress Weight Loss becoming deeply ingrained and my overall, daily, new “NORMAL”.
I am at a big company meeting and our group is over 1000 people. We’re at a European resort location that can handle such a group (although we have little free time to sightsee, it’s nice to eat lunch sitting outdoors in sunshine in January).
I have been pretty good about my eating goals (drinking lots of water & leaving food leftover).
It helps that the food is not good. It’s apparently pretty typical for big vacation resorts with all-inclusive food plans (like Club Med etc) but from the several meals I’ve had basically the bottom line is that everything is edible but nothing is Good.
One of the first lessons I really followed from Dr Hope was paying attention to the pleasure while eating, I’ve found that after several weeks of really paying attention to pleasure while you eat you can find it — whether the pleasure be from a 5-star gourmet restaurant, or an apple, or a quick snack on the road. But I’ve been pretty surprised to see that once you’re used to finding pleasure in food, that when you eat something that is DEVOID of pleasure, you don’t want to eat as much.
So tasteless salad veggies, fish in yucky sauces, bad bread, sweet and gross lasagne, mealy melon and lots of other things have sat barely touched on my plate in the past few days. Even the fruit is a crapshoot, never great, sometimes okay, frequently yucky. So I don’t worry so much about taking an extra sliver of cheese (the fat! the calories!) because I know I won’t be overeating anything.
I did find myself back in stress eating for half an hour yesterday, when some organizational problems in the meeting occured at the same time as the coffee break. The cookies (a bit stale, too sweet, chemically-enhanced mass produced pseudo-shortbread) were on platters all around as we tried to work out a problem. I ate half of one early on and ditched the second half because it wasn’t good. But I ate 3 more just because they were there and I was distracted and stressed. Today : no more bad cookies. And I grabbed an extra apple at breakfast to eat during the coffee break - it will be much more satisfying.
My DH and I try to plan our business travel at the same time, so it worked out that he left for a trip one night before me, leaving me alone for dinner.
I had an interesting day, eating-wise. From the start of it, I would have thought it would have been a terrible day, but I just listened to my hunger and it turned out that trusting myself and that famous “take time to think” can really pay off.
We had the in-laws over for brunch, which meant bread, butter, eggs, a pannetone (an Italian huge sweetened breakfast bread), chocolate croissants, and they even brought a galette (yes, the same cake I ate last week - yesterday it was Epiphany, and hence the “official” day for that cake, although honestly they sell them like hotcakes from Dec 26 - end of January).
I ate rather a lot this morning, 2 fried eggs, and a ton of baguette with butter. The butter that we buy from the cheese shop is seriously some of the best butter in the world, and even French food snobs (we know MANY!) admit that it’s one of the best butters they’ve ever had. We went through a lot of butter today. We had 2 baguettes for 8 people and they were gone in 15 minutes so I zipped across the street for 2 more.
I didn’t drink any juice, didn’t eat the chocolate croissants. Those are easy things for me to pass up as long as there is good tea and other stuff for breakfast. I also had no trouble turning down the galette - I had tasted one that I knew was great about a week ago, and today’s looked not as good, and I just didn’t want it.
Unfortunately, I didn’t follow my “think while you eat” stuff. No thinking was done really, just eating. I did NOT leave anything uneaten, and I did not pay particular attention, although I suppose I certainly did have pleasure.
These carb-fest brunches are not uncommon for us, but what made today different is that it didn’t spark a day-long feeding frenzy. I accepted that I had overeaten and went about my day, and didn’t get the least bit hungry until 6pm when I had one clementine. I never got it together to go for a walk, but I got a fair amount of stuff done.
The real victory was dinner - again, eating when hungry - which put me at 10pm. (I was hungry before that but working on something, so…). We had leftover roast beef, leftover celery root puree, leftover pear cobbler and A WHOLE LOAF OF FRENCH BREAD. And of course, the butter. I made myself a small plate of roast beef and celery root, and sat and ate Mindfully. Chewing, tasting, enjoying. I kept thinking about the bread and butter, and decided after eating about 1/3 of the meat to eat some bread and butter. I took the best-looking part of the bread, right from the middle (because I’ll have to throw it out regardless, I figured I should have the part I really wanted).
I sat down w my 3-inch piece of French baguette and the butter. I broke off a morsel, buttered it, ate it. Yum. In my mind, I’m calculating the calories in the uneaten roast beef, and the calories in the bread and butter, and deciding it’s a fair trade. I continue eating — no, savoring, the bread and butter and then all of a sudden, it didn’t taste as good. I’d saturated my mouth with the flavor, crunch, chewiness, salty, creamy goodness, and somehow I found that point where the next bite just didn’t taste as good.
I took one more bite, just to see… yep, confirmed, not as good. So I stopped. Half of the “reasonable” bread and butter just not eaten. Most of the meat not eaten. A very satisfied and well-fed Round.
On to dessert - I did want my pear cobbler, I was so proud to have made it. I opened a plain yogurt to go with it, and after a few bites decided I preferred the yogurt, so I abandoned the cobbler after only about 3 bites. Another few bites of the yogurt and I was done with that too.
I was SO PROUD of myself!
Maybe it’s the fact that I was all alone, no radio, no internet, no distractions. Whatever it was, I know it’s a step in the right direction. I am really hoping that with practice meals like this will become more frequent, and start to become the rule rather than the exception.
It’s a great thing to bear in mind as I head out for my week away.
I’m off today for another work meeting with very little or no internet access.
I’ll be keeping my food journals, working on leaving something uneaten every time I eat, trying to get in a bit of walking, and watching the skinnies to see what I can learn from them.
If I’m able to get net access from my hotel room (apparently not, but hope springs eternal) I might be able to blog. If not, I’ll write on my computer and post upon my return.
Hope everyone has a good week!
I recently updated my “Progress” page and thought I’d share the changes here.
I’m trying to not be very dependent on the scale, so I am not making many weight goals. I’ve also chosen a weight-management approach that is slow going, and I’m willing to lose one or two pounds a month if I can keep my sanity and keep eating in a normal way without hard-core dieting or constantly running to the gym. As a consequence, every single pound loss is a victory.
After going scale-free for a while, I’ve decided to weigh in once every two weeks or so just so I can see if I’m on track, as going completely scale-free it seemed to be too easy to forget that the goal is indeed to make the numbers (and me!) smaller.
My first major goal is to get out of the “obese” BMI category. Most of my goals focus more on size than on weight, since my ultimate goal is not in pounds, but rather in sizes. My goal is to wear a French size 42. That would put me in the not-top size in any store, giving me loads of shopping choices and a body that is considered normal in this society.
My Weight Ins :
My milestone goals (and date attained) - I’ll probably add more weight ones as I go:
I think I’ll also try to really celebrate every 5 pounds, because at the rate I’m expecting to lose, it’s going to be not-so-often!
I look forward to putting the achievement dates on those goals!