Dessert Test 7 :

The Situation : Same buffet lunch again. Now on the 4th day I think we’d finally seen all the dessert choices. Sat w colleagues I like again.

The Dessert : I really didn’t feel like dessert, so I decided to take two clementines and call it good, but there was a really pretty apple tart that had been there the first day, and it was cut into quarters, from about a 6 inch diameter so one quarter was pretty small… So I grabbed that too.

The Analysis : I started w the apple tart, and ate one bite of the whole thing - way too sweet, one bite of the apple part only - way too sweet, and left the rest. The clemetines were delicious - very sweet and juicy. I could have eaten more than two in fact, but didn’t want to get up for ’seconds’ on dessert in front of my colleagues, and after a few minutes I didn’t want more anyway. At home I’d have had at least one more…

I am very glad the Dessert Test is over, and I’m glad I did it. Giving myself a REQUIREMENT to have dessert at every meal helped to demystify sweets for me. I also found that I ate small portions, and stopped when I didn’t like something most of the time, leaving some part of the dessert on my plate almost every time I ate. That alone is a HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT for me, as I normally clean my plate completely out of habit.

It’s clear that all of the desserts probably added calories to the days, but I was eating much less than I would if I was “off” a diet in freestyle eating. I approached the dessert buffet with the mindset of choosing what ONE I really wanted (whereas when not dieting I’d probably have taken a little bit of several).

Most importantly, I didn’t have any stress around it. It was controlled eating without any feeling of deprivation. How could I feel deprived? Not only was I eating some dessert, I knew I would have dessert again, so no need to “take my share” of something I didn’t like thinking it was a “rare treat”.

I had a strange and rare constant grazing thing in the late afternoon and evening upon returning home from my meeting. I don’t know if it’s tied to stress around my job, holidays or what, but I ate and ate in an unsatisfied but continuous way for about an hour. Definitely not aligned with either hunger nor a weight loss objective. Nothing catastrophic, and I’m hesitant to call it a ‘binge’ but clearly overeating and I felt badly about it both when I was doing it, and afterwards. It’s done now. Behind me, over. I forgive myself, and I’m moving on.