From Mushy to Marathon

I went shopping this afternoon as my friend took my kids off me for the afternoon. So for once I was able to have a good old mooch around the shops all by myself - bliss!

But it was so weird - taking things off the rails in a size 10 or 12 I felt like the sales assistants were going to come up to me and say “Oh dear dear dear - you think you’re a size 10 - I don’t think so - you should be next door in Evans dearie - that’s where the fat people shop!”

Does anyone else feel like a total fraud?

It’s a bit like when I first qualified to teach and I got up in front of the class and felt like I should be sat down on the chairs with the other kids, and when was the real teacher coming?

I still feel a sense of total unease when I try something on in a size 10 and it fits - like it’s all a big con or something.

Anyway, the good news is, I have come down a cup size in bras - I’m now a 34E not a 34F - the problem there being that bras are damned expensive and I can’t afford to buy a load of new ones every few weeks. So I’ll just have to stick with the ones I’ve got till such time as they’re unwearable. And once I’ve stopped feeding Ruby they will shrink again.

I actually went into Monsoon today - I have never dared try anything on in Monsoon. But I am a size 12 bust there but a size 10 waist and hips. I tried on the most gorgeous dress in a 10 - fitted like a dream over the waist and hips but just couldn’t fasten over the girls!!

In the end I never actually bought anything for me - although I got some bargains in the sale for Beth and Ruby for next summer. I did find some things I liked but when I’m 10 lb lighter they won’t fit any more so what’s the point in wasting money? I tried on a lovely pair of white jeans in a 10 in Peacocks - but they were actually a bit loose. Dare I think that in 10 lb time I might even get in a size 8????!!

Yikes!