From Mushy to Marathon

I bought some ‘next stage’ lumpy foods for Ruby as they are supposed to be suitable from 7 months old.

You should have seen her face - you would have thought I’d been trying to give her poison! She was coughing and gagging and choking and shuddering fit to burst!! The trust was totally gone between us.

Every spoonful of food I gave her for about a whole day after that she would eye with the deepest suspicion! I had to virtually force feed her.

So we are back to puree for the time being.

On the bright side - she has just today started to say “Mama!” yay.

As for me, weight is up a bit although not as much as I expected. Went out last night with colleagues and had garlic mushrooms, pizza and tiramisu!! Totally worth the pound I was up this morning.

I have bought myself some new suitcases for my holiday. The ones I have are over 15 years old!! They are the old pull-along ones on a lead and they are a bugger to pull. So we went out today and got some nice new light trolley style ones.

I had no idea how much suitcases cost though - so got the shock of my life when I went in the first shop and saw some at £150!! I found some cheaper ones, at £69 which the woman was very keen to sell me. But I decided to check out the next shop two doors down and they were a LOT cheaper in there. A similar size one to the £69 ones was only £27.50. I ended up getting two quite big ones at £45 each in a nice bright red that matches my pushchair. But they are both considerably bigger than both the £150 ones and the £69 ones from the first shop.

So, that’s one job done. My weight this morning was the same as yesterday - at least it didn’t go up! I have eaten well today - hoping for a bit of a loss tomorrow. I bought two new tops from Pilot that show off my new-shape boobs! Size 12 from Pilot - never thought I’d see the day. I’ll have to get some more pics taken - I look great at the moment. Only another 12 lbs to go - when I hit 145, I’ll have to change the name of the blog to “The last 10 pounds!” It’s amazing how much of a difference this last 10 lbs has made, much more than the previous 10. I feel so good.

I tried to get a black plunge bra today but the shop at Freeport only went up to E cup - not F. So I’ll have to try La Senza again or go back to M&S.

Food today:

Description/Name Summary (F/C/P)

Breakfast
Weetabix/milk  184kcal  (15/68/17%)   
Small coffee  42kcal  (29/42/29%)   

Lunch
4 x crackerbread and UB and cottage cheese  257kcal  (11/32/57%)   
Large coffee  84kcal  (30/43/27%)   

Dinner
Low fat chicken and 2 oz pasta   416kcal  (14/55/31%)   
Large coffee  84kcal  (30/43/27%)   

Snacks
Large coffee  84kcal  (30/43/27%)    
Jordans cereal bar  150kcal  (6/89/5%) 
 
Total: 1300 (16/54/30%)
 

I have made a decision that the way I eat now is going to be the way I eat for the rest of my life, plus a couple extra hundred calories to make it a maintenance diet rather than a weight loss one.

This does not mean however that I am never going to eat out ever again, or never eat something unhealthy ever again.

If I want to eat out, I will eat out - if I want pizza, I have pizza. I don’t feel guilty about it or consider it a failure. The difference is that after I havemy meal out, I just go back to eating heathily again. This is what I intend to do for the rest of my life.

I am going out next Wednesday for our work summer night out - I am having garlic mushrooms, pizza and I’m even having a dessert. During the day I will be very careful, and on Thursday I’ll be back on my diet.

I think if I looked to the future and saw a future where I could never have anything like that ever again, I’d be very depressed. But I think it’s perfectly possible to have the odd treat and still lose weight or maintain. This is what normal people do. I can be a normal person too.

Today I went to M&S and got measured for a new bra. I was a 34F!!

I have never been a 34 anything ever in my entire life! I went straight in at 36 aged 13!! OK, so the F cup was a bit of a shock but I am still feeding Ruby so that will change when I eventually wean her fully.

But 34!! I was amazed. I bought some nursing bras in my new size and walked out of the shop wearing one - I felt so much better. I went to Peacocks and tried on some dresses for the summer - I looked slim! Just having proper support for my girls made my silhouette look totally different - I didn’t recognise myself.

AND - as if that weren’t enough - I weighed in at 147.7 this morning. Having a good day - and, if I’m not very much mistaken, Ian has just texted me from his boozy French jaunt with his mates - just going to check.

2 minutes later: yes, it was him. Apparently he is ‘having a blast’. Good for him

Today’s food:

Description/Name Summary (F/C/P)

Breakfast
Weetabix/milk  184kcal  (15/68/17%)
Large coffee  84kcal  (30/43/27%)   

Lunch
Large coffee  84kcal  (30/43/27%)   
Ham sandwiches  238kcal  (20/60/20%)

Dinner
Fish and 1 oz rice  305kcal  (31/52/17%)   
Large coffee  84kcal  (30/43/27%)   

Snacks
M cranberry cereal bar  86kcal  (6/88/6%)   
Bananas, raw  89kcal  (3/93/4%)   
Cheerios  74kcal  (10/82/8%)   
Large coffee  84kcal  (30/43/27%)   
Mini Milk  30kcal  (20/67/13%) 
 
Total: 1341 (21/61/18%)  
 

Typical example of Sod’s law in action:

Ruby and I went out this afternoon for a nice long walk up to the duck pond near Morrisons (bet you can guess what’s coming!). So, we got there - ducks were nice and hungry and we got rid of all our bread-  including handfeeding the goose that lives there too. There were also some 2 and 3 year olds from a nearby nursery who had gone there for a picnic.

Just as we had finished feeding the ducks, it started to rain so me, Ruby and the kids and staff from the nursery sheltered in the bus stop there and sang some song about rain.

The rain got worse  - torrential doesn’t describe it - and it started to thunder so we sang some songs about thunder!!

It got later and later and I started to worry about getting home in time for Bethany’s coming home, so I rang everyone I knew to see if someone could come and pick us up, but Beth’s dad was out with the dog and mum and dad weren’t answering their phones.

Eventually I decided to call a taxi - a bomber so I could just wheel the pushchair on. Taxi came and took us home - and literally the second we pulled up outside the house, the rain stopped and the sun came out! Literally! Cost me £4 as well!

Well, I have had my scan.

She said she could see nothing on my ovaries - no cyst, nothing. I have a tilted back uterus, which I knew.

So that’s good, although I can still feel something down there. Thing is, I’m losing weight, and I’m working like heck on my abs - I don’t know what normal muscle is supposed to feel like - I never really had any - lol! It could be that all I am feeling is normal muscular development Certainly I can feel two hard ridges on either side of my belly button that I KNOW is muscle that never used to be there.

So, next step is to go back to the GP in two weeks and see what he says to do next.

I am somewhat relieved though - I have shed a few tears in my weakrer moments thinking of my beautiful girls growing up without a mum!

But hopefully it’s nothing.

Weight-wise, I am still 148.6! The day after I hit that weight I went up to 149.2 and stayed there. But this morning it was back down again. It did that last week, dropped, then jumped up, dropped back down again, then I lost 2 pounds in two days. So hopefully I’ll see another drop tomorrow.