Well, I’m done with my 90 mins on the treadmill today.  I haven’t taken the running shoes off yet as I’m considering a little work with the weights once I cool down a touch.  I was just browsing some of the posts on the boards and I was thinking about goals.  My goals are considerably short-lived in nature.  They are extremely simple:

• eat 1800-2000 calories today
• exercise (min 60 mins) today

In the end, I think that’s it.  I don’t think I set longer ones and they are too overwhelming (for me).  I mean, my god, if I look at my ticker I’ve lost 66 pounds, with 216 to go.  How daunting is that.  I also think about the fact that after my illness I slipped back into poor habits and gained some of it back.  I could look at my FitDay and see that I’ve set April 15, 2010 as the date I’m supposed to be 125 pounds.  Of course, those goals were because I had to use something.  I figure as long as I do each day what I’ve set out to do that I’m ahead.  And that sometime, in the future, I’ll get there.

I do see, far too often, people setting unrealistically aggressive short-term goals.  I feel it’s not my place to say anything, but I wonder how many of them get depressed (and off track) when they don’t meet them.  The thing is if you eat well, and exercise, I do think it will all fall into place.  It’s been said so many times but you didn’t gain all the weight at once, so it’s not going to come off the same way.

Yes, it’s just one day at a time.  

round - I’m just glad he didn’t get it all.  As much as he was enjoying it, I’d be concerned about an upset stomach.  I’ve made cheese spreads in the past myself, but I cheated and bought these at Costco (ha ha - in a 3 bowl package).  I should go back to making them myself once these are done.

mizu - they really are quite cute, when they aren’t trying to kill each other.  They rarely will pose for pictures.  After the first one is taken they usually stop what they’re doing.  They usually take turns in the basket.  The other picture was taken just after we came back from our long trip.  I suspect they were reacting to the change (ie. comforting each other).  Only one (Gus) will sleep by the fire.  The other one (Shadow) will creep around watching the fire, but doesn’t sleep beside it.  We have a fire screen at the fire, but I don’t think I’d trust putting a basket beside it.

So every night after dinner (usually after 10pm) I get what I’ve alloted for my late night eating. It’s usually a protein shake, some fruit, and whatever crispy/crunchy thing my daily calories allow. Tonight it was cheese spread and rice crisps. The cheese spread is a nice sharp cheese, that I cut out (and weigh-just to keep myself honest). I bring them downstairs while I finish watching television, or work on the computer. Tonight the cheese became the evening snack for one of the cats. I wasn’t really paying attention (them crawling on the desk isn’t unusual) but suddenly realized that one of them was spending too much time at the back of the desk… and there was this licking sound.

Yep, half the cheese spread was gone. And now that he knows that’s what is in the little glass dish I suspect I’m going to have to cover it or hide it on the bookcase from now on. I’ve added a picture of the two little angels, umm, devils. They rarely both get in the basket anymore, that’s why this picture was unique.

Exercise - 90 mins on the treadmill (1 x 30, 1 x 60 at 2mph)

Water - 12 cups

Food - 1882 calories (30% fat, 42% carbs, 23% protein)

Breakfast - protein shake, 3 clementines (159)

Lunch - beef/mushroom/barley soup, apple, fruit salad (432)

Dinner - beef stew, corn, snow peas, butter, salad, red wine vinegar dressing (713)

Snacks - protein shake (x2), apple, fruit salad, cheese spread with rice crisps (578)

That’s it for the day. Can’t think of much else to say, so I’ll sign off.

mizu - I think I’m worse this year because last year at this time I was in a cargo freighter crossing the Atlantic. There was so much to look forward to, so it was a good winter. This winter I’m not working, becoming very anti-social (I don’t trust myself yet, and to be honest I’m way more social in the warmer months). Staying on plan is actually reasonably easy (well at least the exercising, the food should be harder since I’m home all of the time). For someone born and raised in Canada, I really don’t like the winter.

I had all kinds of plans for today, but ended up doing laundry and some cleaning here in the basement.  The dust bunnies under the couch were not pretty.  I just can’t get into going out during winter weather.  I miss spring - what a whiner I’ve become.  I’ve done my 90 minutes on the treadmill and had a reasonable lunch (no out of control binges just because I was by myself).  Now I’m going to have to put on my outdoor clothing and bring some wood inside.  I think it took a while but I have the winter blahs.  Oh, at the moment I feel great because I just got off the treadmill, but it will change later.  Maybe being unemployed (and basically semi-broke) doesn’t help either.  Next week I have a job interview (for a job I really don’t want, but is short-term, so money would be nice) and I have to get myself in gear about applying for college.  I really should have done this last week (that’s what I mean about the blahs, just kind of dragging myself about).

justdeb - yes, the exercise is addictive.  That’s kind of how I remembered it, being surprised that I really enjoy it as much as I do.  It will be months before we open the pool, but I’m looking forward to that as well.  Because money is going to be tight for a while we’ll probably delay it (damn), but May will come soon enough.

Exercise - 90 mins on the treadmill (3 x 30 at 2mph), 30 mins toning DVD

Water - 12 cups

Food - 1985 calories (25% fat, 44% carbs, 27% protein)

Breakfast - protein shake, 3 clementines (159)

Lunch - spicy bean soup, apple, fruit salad (390)

Dinner - hamburgers (2), roll (1), condiments, salad, balsamic dressing (891)

Snacks - protein shake (x2), apple, fruit salad, salt and vinegar crispers (545)

I think I’m pretty tired tonight. I’m sitting here yawning as I type this so I’m going to try and get into my bed around 11pm and see if I can get to sleep earlier. It was a good day though overall.

julieesg - I think I just have to admit that it’s not a good idea to even try them now. Maybe in another 100 lbs or so.

In the end I’m more surprised that I’m still at the exercise. I’ve been tracking my food intake (and watching it) since December 7th, but it took until January 7th to make the concerted effort to exercise every day. The goal is 60 minutes (preferably on the treadmill) with a want of 90 minutes. I suppose that’s to make it attainable. If I want, I’ll eventually take a day of rest each week. So far though I don’t feel I need one, and I’m actually afraid to take one. I know I should do more strength training, but I find with my weight that a lot of things aren’t possible. Push-ups are a no-no at the moment. I was doing a toning DVD this morning which includes work with weights or resistance bands, stretching, lunges, squats and push-ups. After the first set of push-ups I had to admit that I wasn’t going to do that part of the DVD. I did other things in that space. I’m not sure after more than 40 years of punishment that my knees will take push-ups just yet. And I can’t do them on the typical toes. It didn’t seem to effect the workout too much as I did very much so break a sweat.

And now I’ve done 60 minutes on the treadmill, and considering another 30. Although I’ve technically already done my 90 minutes, so I might just call it a day. We’ll see in another 15 minutes or so. I’m a bit tired, but not over the top tired, so I might do that extra 30 minutes. I’m actually so happy that I bought the treadmill (back when I could afford it).

Update:  I did finish another 30 minutes (what the hell, it wasn’t even 4:30, I had the time).

mizu - once I added the incline to my walking I got that treadmill high I used to get.  I think that makes it easier to get on each day.  I know by the end of the 30 (or 45) mins I’ll have worked up a sweat and feel great.  Of all the things I bought when money was no object, this was definitely the best.  Well, okay, the trip last year was a once in a lifetime thing, but the treadmill is good as well.  I’m only sorry that the old camera wasn’t replaced before I left.  At that point the money wouldn’t have been an issue (hell, I bought a new video iPod for myself and a mini for my mother), now it is.  The old camera still works, but doesn’t take pictures unless you’re holding onto it (and squeezing slightly).  I decided once I’m down to maybe 300 I’ll find the money to buy a new one.  I have old progress pictures (somewhere on a backup DVD) that might go down to 280, but I’m doing more exercise earlier this time.  I might try a few in front of a mirror just for the hell of it.

Exercise - 90 mins on the treadmill (2 x 45 at 2mph), 15 mins with the weights

Water - 12 cups

Food - 1943 calories (20% fat, 50% carbs, 28% protein)

Breakfast - protein shake, 3 clementines (159)

Lunch - beef/mushroom/barley soup, apple, fruit salad (432)

Dinner - chicken breast with tomato/wine sauce and cheese, broccoli, butter, salad, red wine vinegar dressing (594)

Snacks - protein shake (x2), apple, fruit salad, sour wine gums, salt and vinegar crispy minis (758)

Well, all in all it ended up a decent day. I managed to assuage my craving for under 200 calories, so that was a win. I even managed to pick up the weights for 15 minutes. Tomorrow I think I’m going to look at the toning DVD in the morning. I know I won’t do it in the afternoon, so I’m going to give it a try earlier in the day. Even if it means only doing 60 minutes on the treadmill.

So I decided in the end to plan for my temptation. It’s that time of the month and I just knew I had to feed the beast, or I would likely just give in and eat something anyway. So I looked at my FitDay for the day and decided I could easily work something in as long as it was 200 calories or less. It could probably have been more but then I’d have to adjust for it. The chicken dish for tonight is fairly low in calories as well as the soup I had for lunch, so it worked out well.

I did my shopping and picked a package of Maynard Sour Wine Gums at 190 calories. And you know, I’ve eaten all but two of them, and I’ve enjoyed them. So the beast is fed (for this month at least). I’ll have to keep this in mind for next month. I came home and finished up with the treadmill for the day. I might even use the weights or the resistance bands in a little bit as well. For Saturday I’ve bought some hair colour to cover the creeping white on my scalp. That should keep me busy as well.

julieesg -  that’s often been my downfall in the past, even when eating well.  I’ll convince myself that I can eat badly for ‘just one day’.  Of course, I know better.  Talking about it helps, I hope.

mizu - I think it keeps me in line a little as well.  We’ll see. 

round - I think the accountability is key.  I almost joined weight watchers a while back for the same reason.  I figured if I had to go weigh in once a week it might help.  Of course, we’re back to the not being a joiner thing.  So the blog, and the occasional forum post will do instead.

I’ve been trying to decide why we (as a group) like to blog.  It might be for support, but I think it’s the idea of being introspective, in public.  It’s about making your feelings known, about your weight, your struggle, whatever.  And it is for the support, or at least knowing that you’re speaking to a room that understands.  They may not understand you specifically, but they generally get it.  I find this when reading other blogs.  I get what they’re saying, although I don’t always know what to say back.  I don’t think I’ve ever truly been the nurturing, supportive type.  That’s where the name of the blog comes from.  Maybe joiner wasn’t the best term, but it’s kind of the same thing.  I don’t know if it’s the weight, or just my nature, but I’ve always kind of stood to the side in a group.  After 40 some-odd years I’m not sure it that will ever change.

Anyway, I got up earlier today and did 45 minutes on the treadmill before having breakfast or a shower.  I have to go buy the cats some food this afternoon.  Once again I wrestled with the demons as I’m on my own for most of Saturday.  This would have been an excuse to go buy something to make while alone.  I don’t think I ever ate badly in front of others.  Oh, during my last job I might buy fast food for my dinner, but it was usually better than what they had.  They would purchase burgers and fries, I would get a chicken burger, or a chili and plain potato.  Then on the way home I would get a half dozen cookies to eat on my own.  I think today I’ll make it though.  Just to the pet store and straight back.  I’ll try and set myself a task to do Saturday so I don’t go off and eat something horrible.  The real problem is that there are things just bad enough in the house that I could eat badly without making an advance purchase.

I’ll confirm later if I made my trip out without any side trips.

Exercise - 90 minutes on the treadmill (2 x 45 mins at 2mph)

Water - 12 cups

Food - 1924 calories (23% fat, 49% carbs, 24% protein)

Breakfast - protein shake, 3 clementines, egg substitute, butter (221)

Lunch - lentil soup, apple, fruit salad (463)

Dinner - roasted tomato pasta, salad, balsamic dressing (621)

Snacks - protein shake (x2), apple, fruit salad, cheese spread and rice crisps (619)

I think I’ve yabbered enough today. I’ll save some for tomorrow.