And on top of all that….

T is at a concert. Blue Oyster Cult. And will be until late tonight his time.

“AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!”

I was thinking about this today…as I fried tater tots - not good enough to put them on a cookie sheet in the oven, they turn out kind of dry that way. yuck. No, I prefer them crispy and oil-soaked. To my credit, I have only scarfed about 4 or 5 of them so far! I was actually making them to go on top of the casserole we are having for supper tonight.

 I have been on such a roller coaster ride lately…well, in all honesty, most of my life! My weight has been a contsant “thang” I’ve had to deal with….or chosen to deal with…at times ignored, and got fatter….or did something about, spent loads of money, lost some weight, salivating to eat again the whole time….OH!! the absolute madness of it all!!!

I would like to be free to eat what EVER I wanted at any given time…but again, to be honest, I don’t really want to OVEREAT. I guess I would if you could overeat and not feel like you’d overeaten…but since that’s not how it is….I would like to be able to eat certain “bad” foods, in MODERATION (that has got to be the vilest word ever devised of man!!! How I hate it!!!!) “Moderation, I HATE YOU, ….but, I guess you’re neccessary.”

I know that I FEEL better when I eat according to …say, Gillian McKeith’s plan ….or The Daniel Fast….i.e. Whole foods, nothing artificial, no additives, basically no bad stuff whatso! And sometimes (based on monthly hormonal changes, individual outcomes may vary, results not typical, void where prohibited, many will enter..few will win…) wait a MINUTE! What was I talking about???

oh yes, SOMETIMES, this approach is ok…I am happy to graze through the day on herbs and twigs, splashed with Balsamic Vinegar…..but other times, I just want to eat PIZZA!!! Deep Pan, Pepperoni Lover’s Extra Cheese with mounds of Parmesan on top….sigh. How to strike a happy balance???

Can the twain ever meet???

I am so sick of this belly!! (on the one hand) but…..I am so in love with FOOD!! (on the other) God help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can’t remember exactly what I had during the day,

evening: bunch of stuff, none of it too healthy.

peanut butter toast

eggs (3 whites, 1 yolk)

hot dog, hamburger, pea salad, potato salad, baked beans

 3 hot dogs, a few Doritos, Mountain Dew, Brownies

Coffee