wanted to record this for the record:

 supper: ch.ch. pancake (lol- I don’t know what to say!)

few bites leftover spaghetti.

at the movie: popcorn, some of the kid’s pop (pathetic, ain’t it?)

I cleaned the office today and I don’t really know why, but I put the spare mirror against the wall opposite the computer desk….so I can sit here and look across and see how fat I look I guess. I keep pulling in my stomach and sitting up straighter - it helps!

Oh God, will I make it through the summer???? I took the kids to see Narnia tonight and Joyce wallered me to death, we made 4 trips to the bathroom, and she’s been wild ever since we got home. I recall Joyce Meyer saying that God created night time for us to sleep because he knew we’d never make it w/o a break of some sort. Amen!!!!

Breakfast: Hot cereal - wheat bran, 1 T. flax seeds

Lunch: Barilla Angel Hair pasta, spaghetti sauce, parmesan and cheddar cheese

Ok, I did have a chocolate chip pancake (I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY - I AM JUST ADDICTED TO THE THINGS!!!) but I had it “on the wagon” that is to say I counted the calories of every thing I put on it. It came to 680 calories. I took a few bites, then J stole it from me (I figure I ate half and I’m rounding it to 350) made another one - there was still batter left, what the hell was I supposed to do?!? Only got two bites of that one and Nathan stole it from me (I do feed my kids, by the way - they had requested turkey sandwiches which I had duly made) So, I feel quite satisfied and I figure my total calorie intake around 400, maybe 500 calories! (pancakes only , not counting other stuff today, all of which was ultra-healthy, except for the sweet tea I just had.)

I’m back on the wagon and I mean to stay there dammit.

breakfast: oatmeal, prunes, walnuts, coffee, water

lunch: natural p.b. on whole wheat, water, water, water.

afternoon meal: salad of red leaf lettuce, bleu cheese sprinkles, cherry tomatoes, and garbanzos with balsamic vinegar, water with lemon.

Supper: 1 grilled burger on bun with ketchup, pickle, onion, mustard. more chocolate chip cookies. (they’re gone now, thank goodness.)

Sweet tea.

took 4 fiber pills ’cause basically no fiber was eaten today.

It’s about 9:15 and I feel yucky.

I did “run” some today….but not much energy, or more to the point I got winded really quickly! Then got interrupted by the kids….*sigh* I knew I should’ve got out at 5 a.m. for exercise!

And my construction paper chain hanging from my ceiling tells me…….90 more days until school starts! Oh……I don’t know if I can make it!!!!!!!!!

Oh, I think I forgot to write before that I also had a hot dog for “brunch”

 and this afternoon….

some sweet tea, another chocolate chip cookie, and my friend forced some dried Mango and pineapple down my gullet. Wow! Dried Mango! Me LIKE!!!!

Is that all…..seems like more…..hmmmm.

I’m fixin’ to grill something for supper….gotta get a goin’ R has a meeting tonight and wants to eat before he has to leave again!

Hey Everyone!

I just wanted to say a great big “Thank You!” to all who’ve posted comments to my blog!

If I wasn’t so lazy, I would look up each of your blogs and post personal thank you’s….but…well, I am lazy.

But I love you all!!!!!!!!

Got up late, didn’t eat breakfast - ran around picking up kid’s friends.

Brunch: Chocolate chip cookies with a dollop of natural peanut butter, but it was the kind with honey and sugar added, but still the same calories as the unsweetened kind…can’t fingure that! and um…about 3/4 cup navy beans…and coffee. On the upside, I did quit eating before reaching that “stuffed as a tick” feeling.

In other news….oh..what can I say….?

We are reading 84 Charring Cross Road together. It’s a sweet little book, and so…..Mmmm, well, because it REALLY happened, it’s not made up! There really was a Miss Helene Hanff of 14 East 95th st. New York, New York. “AAAAAUUGGGHH!” She screams in disbelief…”is this REALLY happening??” Oh girls…I just WISH I could say more….tell all….but I just can’t! I was laying in bed this morning, (after getting up to give the dog her sedative for thunderstorms) ….yes, I was laying there thinking….I wish I had a confidante, someone I could “spill the beans”…..pour out my soul” to…..I thought methodically over my list of friends, family, and aquaintances: M- she might understand, but she knows R, too risky. J-nope, she’s too unstable herself and her husband M is R’s best friend. L - probably the most likely person I would talk to if I was going to talk, she’d understand, but she’d also judge I’m pretty sure…. Any of the “W” clan: Ha! and double Ha! ……Ha! Ha! I may as well take out an ad in the national enquirer as to tell any of them….oh! they listen to your trouble with SUCH amazing empathy!!! You just want to tell them more and more….and then they turn right around and broadcast it. I’ve learned long ago to be VERY CAREFUL around them! So…..there is God. Yes, I talk to Him but He talks back through His word and I don’t always like what He has to say…..what a pickle I am in! Well….I guess I just needed to vent and strangely enough, the anonimity of this blog seems to be the only other place I can do that …except for prayer.

Ate a bunch of crap last night…but It’s a new day!

Went grocery shopping last night and even tho’ I knew better I bought chocolate chips - J is having friends over today and wanted to make cookies for them to have - it doesn’t take much to push me in the wrong direction!

Even tho’ the cookies are calling to me this morning…their voice is pretty faint, and I feel pretty crappy from what all I ate yesterday…why must I go through this every month, can’t somebody find some way to overcome hormonal cravings???? Isn’t there a PILL???

I’m going to start a new post for today’s food diary…don’t even want to record the good food I’m going to eat today on this sullied page.

listening to James Blunt, 1973

 so far today: munched on chex mix, leftover chicken enchiladas, for breakfast. Drank some coffe, water, and grape/pomegranate juice.