”One more f____-up like that and I’m gonna cut yer f_____ing ballers off!”

“Ohhhhhhhh….sh**!” I so messed up tonight! I did so good all day - sweetly turning down fresh-baked brownies and birthday cake and ice cream….it was a hell of a day for dieting! And then tonight, after our trip to the community center, we come home and I went crazy!!! Such a sh**load of buttered popcorn with a few salty pretzels thrown in for good measure, a nasty hot dog that I never would have dreamed would tempt me (it was a lurking leftover of the kids’ dinner….sigh. It wasn’t even a “good” hot dog - one of those nasty things I call a styro-weeny - made from chicken and pork and sh** like that (Robert bought them the other day, he doesn’t know any better). But, here’s the sad honest truth - it seems like I was craving the “texture” I won’t go into detail because the descriptive thoughts running through my brain would sound like I was some kind of phone sex operator…… - I don’t know, maybe I didn’t eat enough protein today….Ugh. Well, here is the whole sordid story:

Breakfast: None.

Lunch: Sandwich at a friend’s house - bakery roll of dubious nutritive value but very tasty, deli turkey meat, tomatoes, lettuce. a Few red grapes, 2 glasses water.

Snack: around 2 p.m. after grocery shopping - famished! Another turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread, 1/2 box grape tomatoes.

Dinner: 1 green bell pepper stuffed with 1 cup bulghar wheat/brown rice mixture. Large green salad/ spinach/ red onion/ red leaf lettuce/ tomatoes/ olive oil/ balsamic vinegar.

Buncha sh**! - popcorn with butter, pretzels, parmesan cheese, that hot dog, a couple of Kashi sesame crackers, a drink of DH’s RC, a drink of DS’s apple cider, 2 glasses of sweet tea……waaaaaaaaa! Where did I go wrong????