I am either posting in this blog like a mad woman or I am ignoring it for days at a time.

I am nicely on track, no major problems since my binge-blowout last Monday.

I am eating a little more calories daily. I have been settling into a range that goes up to about 1600 a day. I am kind of happy at a higher range tho I do feel rather panicky. A part of me fears that I am slowly spiraling out of control, letting my intake get higher and higher until I am once again, eating like there is no tomorrow and gaining all this back and adding more. I felt more secure, more tightly in control at 1200 but, I was often coming in lower than that and that isn’t a good thing. I want to nourish my bod as well as lose the weight.

Calories for the 1st: 1341

Calories for the 2nd: 1558

Calories for the 3rd: 1435

Am I doing the right thing? I think perhaps I am… That a little higher level will be more beneficial to me, in the long run. I do feel as if I am losing… My bod feels smaller. Looser, squishier. My pants are getting baggier, too. I hope that this shows on the scale on Monday morning. I would like to log a nice pound loss for my TBL team, as well as myself.

Exercise. *Sigh* I am trying. And doing pretty well. Or at least I was, until my left knee started screaming bloody murder, again. I have rested it for two days and will likely do it tomorrow, too. Hopefully I can hit it on Monday, again. Believe it or not, I actually miss exercising.

Oh, I had hubbie pick up a can of pure pumpkin at the store, today. I am going to try it, see if I like it. If so, it will become a part of my menu. I like pumpkin pie… I like squash… I adore sweet potatoes. In fact, I am roasting a couple, right now. I think I will like the pumpkin. I am planning to heat it, stir in ICBINBS and some pepper a little salt.

I am also roasting boneless, skinless chicken breasts. I prepare a big package at a time and eat off it for days. I just line a baking sheet with Release foil, spray with Pam, season with Lawry’s, pepper and paprika. Sometimes I splash on some lemon juice first. Spray with Pam, flip and repeat. Bake in a 350 oven until done. Yum. Delish hot or cold, in salads or sandwiches. I also blanched and froze some broccoli and cauliflower. I’m not much of a cook, but I can manage these things pretty well.

Today has been a lovely, lovely day! Cool, cloudy, windy a little rain. It felt so Fallish. I am sad that it is supposed to clear up, warm up and get back to the low eighties, by the middle of the week. There are a few leaves turning yellow on my oaks. I *heart* Autumn.

Gah! The Forest Service has begun the annual controlled burns. Misery ensues. Nothing like a thick pall of smoke to really make your day. NOT.

Music: Angry ~~ Matchbox 20.

Want to hear something funny? That binge the other day? I estimated the caloric damage. It came to a grand total of 2500 calories. And that was making a high estimation on a couple of things. Geesh! I can’t even binge right, anymore.

I suppose I shouldn’t be bitching too much… I didn’t do near the damage I had thought I did.

Yesterday I was on track… Did 40 minutes of cardio and got a total of 1211 calories.

Today was another good on track day. I got in 50 minutes of cardio and glommed down a total of 1341 calories.

Not too shabby, if I do say so, myself.

Tuesday Afternoon ~~ The Moody Blues.

*shakes head* Sorry… Got lost in my song.

I decided to change my blog title. I felt bad about using Odyssey when someone else was already using it. I felt as if I were stepping on her toes. If anyone already has this title, please let me know… I will change mine. I don’t mind changing it.

I didn’t realise how long it has been since I last posted here. Been busy. Depressed and just plain old lazy, I guess.

I am doing all right on the diet and exercise front. I am staying on track and getting some exercise every day.  I hope that when I weight in on Monday morning, I see another nice loss. A lovely little nosedive in the number. I am noticing NSV as I progress. Things like having more energy. It is easier to bend over and pick something up off the floor. Showering is easier and more pleasant, I can actually bend down and wash my lower legs and feet, again. Putting on my shoes is a faster, simpler process and just getting dressed doesn’t leave me panting, sweating and ready to fall down. Housework doesn’t exhaust me to the point that I can’t move for hours; I can take better care of my house. I was at the point where I couldn’t push my vacuum without becoming seriously winded. So, there have been some really positive changes in my life, just with the little I have lost, so far. 53 pounds, as of my last weigh in. I still have such a long way to go. But, I think I may just make it, this time.

My appetite is returning. I wasn’t hungry. At all for a while. I was barely eating and when I did, I had to force it down and wanted to throw it back up, as soon as I ate. That has passed. And my calorie counts are coming back up to healthier levels. I figured that would happen, if I just gave it some time and didn’t fret of panic over it. Seems to have worked.

Okay, to the meat of the matter:

Calories for:

23rd: 845.

24th: 1085.

25th: 1482.

26th: 1181.

I have been committed to getting more exercise. I am trying to do a minimum of 30 minutes a day of IHW cardio. On days when I can’t carve out enough privacy, I try to do as much as I can and do some stretching. I find that regular exercise is helping me to feel better, too. Yes, I still hate every fracking moment. But I am liking the benefits.

I know that 30 to 60 minutes a day doesn’t sound like much, but for someone who weighs what I do… Trust me, it is. And it has benefits. As I lose more and the strain isn’t so bad on my joints I will be able to go longer and have more variation. That would be nice… What I am doing now can get a little boring.

Okay, enough babbling for now.

I am thinking of changing the title of this blog. I noticed that someone else who was here before me has a similar title and I feel it is only right to change mine. I have something in mind. Something I rather like, in fact.

Google Toolbar spell checker says that “fracking” isn’t a word. I disagree.

Tomorrow is the first day of Autumn! Summer is done. At last! Although we won’t be in full Fall mode for a bit yet, even up here in the mountains, Autumn arrives a little later, here in Arizona. But just knowing that the season is changing and that I will soon be reveling in crisp temperatures and gloriously coloured leaves makes it all worthwhile.

I love Autumn. It is the season in which I was born and the season in which I feel the most alive. He. He. With my deep love for this season, perhaps rather than a Christian, I should have been a Pagan.

I had a good, on track day, yesterday. I was a little on the hongry side. Needed to feed a bit, so I did. Got in 1498 calories. A few more than I normally do. But it is all good. I feel good and am happy about it. I drank my water, too. I need to get a little exercise, today. Somehow, I need to manage it. I actually feel the need to move. And I really do want to develop the habit of exercising. I know that it is something that I need to do for myself. For so many good reasons and I am beginning to shed my mental block against it. I don’t claim to be Super Gym Queen, here, but I am coming around. A little.

Tomorrow is weigh in day. I am really looking forward to it. And dreading it, too. I can tell by the way my body feels that I have lost more weight since the 6th of this month. But I dread not seeing that reflected in the number on my scale. I know… It is just a number and a scale is an evil, lying beast. It is just a tool, not something in which I should wrap all my hopes and dreams.

I still want to see a lower number tomorrow.

There is a thunderstorm ripping through the sky as I type this. I love storms. They are so powerful, raw and elemental. I am never happier then when the sky is deeply cloudy, the day is dark and grey and rain is falling. My favourite sound, besides the ocean is the sound of rain. On my roof, my deck, the trees and the ground. The more it rains, the better. Dark, grey days are a treat, here in Arizona. Even up here, in the mountains, the sun manages to poke through even the heaviest cloud cover for at least a while.

I am having a very good day, today. On track, at peace with myself and my goals. No binge urges. I managed to carve enough private time to do a fast 30 minutes of MIP. (Marching in place… :D) I still haven’t had dinner. I am not very hungry, yet. I’ll have it in a bit. I have a Lean Cuisine and some veggies to steam. Yum.

I had a good day, yesterday. Calories were a tad low. I topped out at: 1069. I just wasn’t hungry and everything I ate lasted a long time and kept me happy for hours. I have been chowing on lots of protein, the last few days. It keeps me feeling full for hours and hours, so I don’t feel the need to feed, so much. I am a protein craver. I love fruits and veggies, whole grains and other lovely stuff. But I neeeeed protein. And I feed that need as much as I can.

I have been on this calorie counting odyssey for over three months, now. And, since I am being smart, this time, getting plenty of protein, enough quality fat and other vital nutrients, I am not experiencing too much hair shed. I have my usual late Summer, early shed going, with a little more. I know that the slight increase in shedding is because of my weight loss. But, I am not shedding wookies, as I have, on very, very low calorie diets or even when I went lo carb, years ago. I hate to lose hair, any hair. But I accept the fact that I am going to lose some. At this point, I would rather have a thinner, healthier body than crazy-thick hair. And, tho I am shedding a bit more than normal, I don’t notice a loss of overall volume. So, it’s all good.

The storm is quieting. Officially, the Monsoon lasts until the end of this month. It can go on as long as it likes, as far as I am concerned.

It had been feeling a little “Fallish” for a while. Now the temps are going back up and I am once again in front of a fan. I hate late Summer. Seriously hate it. The weather is just too freaky and warm. And I don’t like being jerked around by Mother Nature this way. It is nice and cool at night, tho. For that I am truly thankful. I actually had to use my down blanket, early this morning. It was chilly. I could have used it the other night, too. But I was too sleepy and lazy to lever my arse out of the sack and get it out of my closet.

So… I am on track. I ate 1393 calories, yesterday. Ack! I was a tad freaked by that number, I have to admit. I feel as if I am sliding out of control, allowing this slightly higher calorie amount. And I am afraid that my weight loss will stall or stop, too. So, in my head is this voice screaming at me to stop, pull the amounts down and get back in control. This is the voice competing with the one whispering in my ear that “Just one more binge would be okay… no one would know and what could it really hurt?” Maybe I should start charging rent. I could use the money.

The 3FC TBL challenge begins Tuesday. I have been assigned to the Red Team. I am ready to start this challenge. And I hope that it will help me get a little closer to my Hallowe’en Challenge goal. One I think I am not too much closer to, thanks to this last week. :rolleyes:

Small NSV: There was a piece of gooey chocolate fudge cake in my fridge. It was in there for Pookey (my son). I told him to eat it or it was going in the trash. This morning, it went in the trash. Thrown away by me. No taste. No longing looks as it went, no temptation to have “just one bite”. Just a smooth, clean transition from fridge to receptacle. Pleased I am.

No mad snack attacks. I am pleased about that. I was light on my calories, tho. 961 for the day. I didn’t realise I was so short until I did my total last night. And by then, I was just not hungry and it was getting late so I just let those calories float off into the ether. I am going to make an effort to do better, today.

My allergies are so bad. Either that or I am catching that cold my husband and son have been passing around all over the place. If that is the case, I’ll have to kill them both. Couple of germ bags.

I made my Labour Day Challenge goal.

The pants fit, once again.

New goal for the Hallowe’en Challenge, those much smaller denims that are coated in a thick layer of dust and those two cotton shirts. A pretty ambitious goal, especially the pants, as they are a good bit smaller than the ones I just got back into. But, I am going to shoot for it, anyway. Even if I don’t make it, I should be pretty darned close. And by then, the shirts should definitely fit. I had thought to set my Birthday as my goal day, but I like Hallowe’en better. A little closer, a little pressure, without being so bad that it freaks me out.

Just five days to my first weigh in since I joined 3FC. And post it for the TBL challenge. A part of me can’t wait. And a part of me is dreading it. Oooo… Shiver…

It was incredibly muggy, hot and nasty, today. It is finally raining but if the sun comes out, again it will just get worse. And it most likely will, as it seems to be clearing out over Prescott. *sigh*

Calorie zig zagging. Interesting approach. I haven’t been doing it deliberately, but it seems to be working for me. After my rotten binge day on the 26th, I topped out at 715 on the 27th and 1572, yesterday. I was way low on the 27th because there wasn’t much healthy food around the house and I had to ration my supplies. I hate it when we are at the end of the budget and there isn’t any decent food in the house. It worries and pisses me off. And that is the end of that rant.

I think I am actually looking forward to getting on the scale on the 6th of September. Shocking, I know. But with the difference and changes I am continuing to see in the bod, I am thinking I will be happy with what I see on the scale, as well. I sure hope so, anyway.

I think I have already reached my Labour Day goal. I will find out on Monday when I try on the pants I had as my Labour Day challenge. I am setting myself a personal challenge… The next size range down pants to fit and the two crinkle cotton blouses I haven’t been able to wear… ever. By my Birthday on November the 12th. I think I can make it. I am also really getting excited to begin The Biggest Loser challenge at 3FC. and to see the new season of the show, too.

I had the strangest dream, last night. I was getting ready to run The Amazing Race. And I was thin and fit and rearing to go. It was wonderful and I was sooo pissed when I woke up. I love The Amazing Race. I have seen every episode and it is the only reality show I would ever want to do.