Not writing as often as I used to. Time gets away from me and I forget to get in here and do my thing.

Okay, since the 5th… I have been pretty well on track, except for the 6th. I had a bit of a feeding frenzy. Not a real binge, but I did go a bit overboard. Calories ended up in the 2700 range. It is hard to go all out and binge my head off when there isn’t much junky stuff around and I just don’t have the stomach capacity I used to. Guess I shouldn’t bitch, huh?

Calories for:

7th: 1195

8th: 1309

9th: 1283

10th: Duh! Today is the 10th. Anybody have a new brain that they aren’t using, just lying around? If you would care to donate it, please, give me a shout.

I am also doing well with exercise. I am exercising as often as I can. I had to lay back for a couple of days because of my stupid knee and one day I only got about half of a cardio session because my plagued In-laws couldn’t park themselves downstairs to save their lives that day. Up and down the stairs, with then, doing their stuff and I had no privacy or peace, not even for one stupid little hour. Grrr…

I am getting a teensy bit more fit, tho. Today, my 40 minute cardio session was a little easier to get through and I was able to ramp up my intensity a bit. I had a sweat going when I finished. I am keeping it in the 30 to 50 minute range for a while longer. I am not interested in doing physical harm to myself. And, while I am already doing and feeling so much better thanks to my 58 pounds off, so far, I am aware that I am still very obese and that to over stress myself could be a problem.

Okay, I just looked at what I just wrote. I have lost 58 pounds, so far. Yes, I still have a looong way to go. But I have already made a significant dent in that journey. I am hoping to be below 300 very early in the new year. Then I will really feel as if I am cooking with gas.

I decided to weigh today, rather than tomorrow. I am down another two pounds. I was actually hoping that number would be higher. I feel the changes in my body, I look and feel smaller, yet the numbers just don’t correlate. Scales lie and they suck. But, I still have to get on mine, once a week.

I had a good, on track day, yesterday. Calories were: 1421.

Am I slowing my progress with this higher target range? 

I don’t know…

I am either posting in this blog like a mad woman or I am ignoring it for days at a time.

I am nicely on track, no major problems since my binge-blowout last Monday.

I am eating a little more calories daily. I have been settling into a range that goes up to about 1600 a day. I am kind of happy at a higher range tho I do feel rather panicky. A part of me fears that I am slowly spiraling out of control, letting my intake get higher and higher until I am once again, eating like there is no tomorrow and gaining all this back and adding more. I felt more secure, more tightly in control at 1200 but, I was often coming in lower than that and that isn’t a good thing. I want to nourish my bod as well as lose the weight.

Calories for the 1st: 1341

Calories for the 2nd: 1558

Calories for the 3rd: 1435

Am I doing the right thing? I think perhaps I am… That a little higher level will be more beneficial to me, in the long run. I do feel as if I am losing… My bod feels smaller. Looser, squishier. My pants are getting baggier, too. I hope that this shows on the scale on Monday morning. I would like to log a nice pound loss for my TBL team, as well as myself.

Exercise. *Sigh* I am trying. And doing pretty well. Or at least I was, until my left knee started screaming bloody murder, again. I have rested it for two days and will likely do it tomorrow, too. Hopefully I can hit it on Monday, again. Believe it or not, I actually miss exercising.

Oh, I had hubbie pick up a can of pure pumpkin at the store, today. I am going to try it, see if I like it. If so, it will become a part of my menu. I like pumpkin pie… I like squash… I adore sweet potatoes. In fact, I am roasting a couple, right now. I think I will like the pumpkin. I am planning to heat it, stir in ICBINBS and some pepper a little salt.

I am also roasting boneless, skinless chicken breasts. I prepare a big package at a time and eat off it for days. I just line a baking sheet with Release foil, spray with Pam, season with Lawry’s, pepper and paprika. Sometimes I splash on some lemon juice first. Spray with Pam, flip and repeat. Bake in a 350 oven until done. Yum. Delish hot or cold, in salads or sandwiches. I also blanched and froze some broccoli and cauliflower. I’m not much of a cook, but I can manage these things pretty well.

Today has been a lovely, lovely day! Cool, cloudy, windy a little rain. It felt so Fallish. I am sad that it is supposed to clear up, warm up and get back to the low eighties, by the middle of the week. There are a few leaves turning yellow on my oaks. I *heart* Autumn.

Gah! The Forest Service has begun the annual controlled burns. Misery ensues. Nothing like a thick pall of smoke to really make your day. NOT.

Music: Angry ~~ Matchbox 20.

Want to hear something funny? That binge the other day? I estimated the caloric damage. It came to a grand total of 2500 calories. And that was making a high estimation on a couple of things. Geesh! I can’t even binge right, anymore.

I suppose I shouldn’t be bitching too much… I didn’t do near the damage I had thought I did.

Yesterday I was on track… Did 40 minutes of cardio and got a total of 1211 calories.

Today was another good on track day. I got in 50 minutes of cardio and glommed down a total of 1341 calories.

Not too shabby, if I do say so, myself.

Tuesday Afternoon ~~ The Moody Blues.

*shakes head* Sorry… Got lost in my song.

I am doing better, today. I got in a 40 minute cardio and am pounding down water and I already feel better. Now, I need a coffee and my brekkie.

So, weigh in this morning.

Only 3 pounds down. I was hoping for more. Especially considering how many calories I didn’t eat, last week and that I exercised every day. I think part of it is I am retaining some fluid in my legs. They are a bit swollen, this morning. And I am feeling a bit “compacted” if you know what I mean. So, lots of water, some Phillips soft gels and plenty of exercise should rectify it. Too much sodium, last night. I kinda snacked a bit. And I think that is why I am retaining too much fluid.

Ugh. Smart, huh? The night before I weigh in.

Calories for yesterday: 1481. I feel like such a hog.

On the bright side… I have been 17 days binge free.

All is well in my world of eating and exercising. Well, pretty well, anyway. I had a very hungry day, yesterday. I was seriously tempted to go nuts and eat the house down last night. I spent a bunch of time on 3FC, reading, posting and was able to talk myself down. Ultimately I stayed on track.

On track today, too. I got some gentle exercise this weekend. Looking forward to hitting it a little harder, tomorrow. I will be able to carve out enough alone time to do it. it is hard on the weekends, around here.

Calories for yesterday: 1272.

I am right in the 1100 area, right now. Probably will have a light snack later. Maybe.

I didn’t realise how long it has been since I last posted here. Been busy. Depressed and just plain old lazy, I guess.

I am doing all right on the diet and exercise front. I am staying on track and getting some exercise every day.  I hope that when I weight in on Monday morning, I see another nice loss. A lovely little nosedive in the number. I am noticing NSV as I progress. Things like having more energy. It is easier to bend over and pick something up off the floor. Showering is easier and more pleasant, I can actually bend down and wash my lower legs and feet, again. Putting on my shoes is a faster, simpler process and just getting dressed doesn’t leave me panting, sweating and ready to fall down. Housework doesn’t exhaust me to the point that I can’t move for hours; I can take better care of my house. I was at the point where I couldn’t push my vacuum without becoming seriously winded. So, there have been some really positive changes in my life, just with the little I have lost, so far. 53 pounds, as of my last weigh in. I still have such a long way to go. But, I think I may just make it, this time.

My appetite is returning. I wasn’t hungry. At all for a while. I was barely eating and when I did, I had to force it down and wanted to throw it back up, as soon as I ate. That has passed. And my calorie counts are coming back up to healthier levels. I figured that would happen, if I just gave it some time and didn’t fret of panic over it. Seems to have worked.

Okay, to the meat of the matter:

Calories for:

23rd: 845.

24th: 1085.

25th: 1482.

26th: 1181.

I have been committed to getting more exercise. I am trying to do a minimum of 30 minutes a day of IHW cardio. On days when I can’t carve out enough privacy, I try to do as much as I can and do some stretching. I find that regular exercise is helping me to feel better, too. Yes, I still hate every fracking moment. But I am liking the benefits.

I know that 30 to 60 minutes a day doesn’t sound like much, but for someone who weighs what I do… Trust me, it is. And it has benefits. As I lose more and the strain isn’t so bad on my joints I will be able to go longer and have more variation. That would be nice… What I am doing now can get a little boring.

Okay, enough babbling for now.

I am thinking of changing the title of this blog. I noticed that someone else who was here before me has a similar title and I feel it is only right to change mine. I have something in mind. Something I rather like, in fact.

Google Toolbar spell checker says that “fracking” isn’t a word. I disagree.

I have been staying on track and getting exercise. I am down another five pounds.

Depression and stress are kicking my ass, hard. And I don’t feel hungry. It is hard to eat enough. Day before yesterday I got less than 700 calories in. Yesterday it was less than 600.

I can’t control the situation that has me so stressed and I just need to deal, pull out of this funk and move forward. I am working on it.

Tomorrow is the first day of Autumn! Summer is done. At last! Although we won’t be in full Fall mode for a bit yet, even up here in the mountains, Autumn arrives a little later, here in Arizona. But just knowing that the season is changing and that I will soon be reveling in crisp temperatures and gloriously coloured leaves makes it all worthwhile.

I love Autumn. It is the season in which I was born and the season in which I feel the most alive. He. He. With my deep love for this season, perhaps rather than a Christian, I should have been a Pagan.

I had a good, on track day, yesterday. I was a little on the hongry side. Needed to feed a bit, so I did. Got in 1498 calories. A few more than I normally do. But it is all good. I feel good and am happy about it. I drank my water, too. I need to get a little exercise, today. Somehow, I need to manage it. I actually feel the need to move. And I really do want to develop the habit of exercising. I know that it is something that I need to do for myself. For so many good reasons and I am beginning to shed my mental block against it. I don’t claim to be Super Gym Queen, here, but I am coming around. A little.

Tomorrow is weigh in day. I am really looking forward to it. And dreading it, too. I can tell by the way my body feels that I have lost more weight since the 6th of this month. But I dread not seeing that reflected in the number on my scale. I know… It is just a number and a scale is an evil, lying beast. It is just a tool, not something in which I should wrap all my hopes and dreams.

I still want to see a lower number tomorrow.