I am doing better, today. I got in a 40 minute cardio and am pounding down water and I already feel better. Now, I need a coffee and my brekkie.

Yesterday was a blow out of major proportions. I ate anything I could get my hands on all day. I was reacting to stress and emotional upset. I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t feeling deprived in any way. I just woke up yesterday, did my weigh in, then collapsed and started eating. No, my binge day wasn’t in reaction to my weigh in result. I lost three pounds, last week. A respectable number and one I was pretty happy with. Tho, if I were to be absolutely honest, one I thought was going to be a bit higher.

Anyhoo… (Thoughts are all over the place, this morning.)

So, knowing that it was going to be pretty impossible to fight off, I just let the day happen. I figured it would be a little less rough if I just let it roll. So, that is what I did. I figure I ate roughly 3000 or so calories, yesterday. The funny thing is, even on unguarded eating days, like yesterday, I can’t eat like I used to. My stomach just isn’t able to handle the large volumes it used to be able to. So, I eat and have to wait, a long time before I can handle anything else. It is actually kind of funny, when you think about it. At least I think so.

Sp, today, I feel over the whatever it is that rises up in my brain and my heart and causes binge days and I am ready to be back on track and doing well, again. Little harm should have been done, tho I foresee a lot of water in my immediate future. I am already swelling and puffy. Ugh! Sodium explosion, anyone?

So, weigh in this morning.

Only 3 pounds down. I was hoping for more. Especially considering how many calories I didn’t eat, last week and that I exercised every day. I think part of it is I am retaining some fluid in my legs. They are a bit swollen, this morning. And I am feeling a bit “compacted” if you know what I mean. So, lots of water, some Phillips soft gels and plenty of exercise should rectify it. Too much sodium, last night. I kinda snacked a bit. And I think that is why I am retaining too much fluid.

Ugh. Smart, huh? The night before I weigh in.

Calories for yesterday: 1481. I feel like such a hog.

On the bright side… I have been 17 days binge free.

I decided to change my blog title. I felt bad about using Odyssey when someone else was already using it. I felt as if I were stepping on her toes. If anyone already has this title, please let me know… I will change mine. I don’t mind changing it.

All is well in my world of eating and exercising. Well, pretty well, anyway. I had a very hungry day, yesterday. I was seriously tempted to go nuts and eat the house down last night. I spent a bunch of time on 3FC, reading, posting and was able to talk myself down. Ultimately I stayed on track.

On track today, too. I got some gentle exercise this weekend. Looking forward to hitting it a little harder, tomorrow. I will be able to carve out enough alone time to do it. it is hard on the weekends, around here.

Calories for yesterday: 1272.

I am right in the 1100 area, right now. Probably will have a light snack later. Maybe.

I didn’t realise how long it has been since I last posted here. Been busy. Depressed and just plain old lazy, I guess.

I am doing all right on the diet and exercise front. I am staying on track and getting some exercise every day.  I hope that when I weight in on Monday morning, I see another nice loss. A lovely little nosedive in the number. I am noticing NSV as I progress. Things like having more energy. It is easier to bend over and pick something up off the floor. Showering is easier and more pleasant, I can actually bend down and wash my lower legs and feet, again. Putting on my shoes is a faster, simpler process and just getting dressed doesn’t leave me panting, sweating and ready to fall down. Housework doesn’t exhaust me to the point that I can’t move for hours; I can take better care of my house. I was at the point where I couldn’t push my vacuum without becoming seriously winded. So, there have been some really positive changes in my life, just with the little I have lost, so far. 53 pounds, as of my last weigh in. I still have such a long way to go. But, I think I may just make it, this time.

My appetite is returning. I wasn’t hungry. At all for a while. I was barely eating and when I did, I had to force it down and wanted to throw it back up, as soon as I ate. That has passed. And my calorie counts are coming back up to healthier levels. I figured that would happen, if I just gave it some time and didn’t fret of panic over it. Seems to have worked.

Okay, to the meat of the matter:

Calories for:

23rd: 845.

24th: 1085.

25th: 1482.

26th: 1181.

I have been committed to getting more exercise. I am trying to do a minimum of 30 minutes a day of IHW cardio. On days when I can’t carve out enough privacy, I try to do as much as I can and do some stretching. I find that regular exercise is helping me to feel better, too. Yes, I still hate every fracking moment. But I am liking the benefits.

I know that 30 to 60 minutes a day doesn’t sound like much, but for someone who weighs what I do… Trust me, it is. And it has benefits. As I lose more and the strain isn’t so bad on my joints I will be able to go longer and have more variation. That would be nice… What I am doing now can get a little boring.

Okay, enough babbling for now.

I am thinking of changing the title of this blog. I noticed that someone else who was here before me has a similar title and I feel it is only right to change mine. I have something in mind. Something I rather like, in fact.

Google Toolbar spell checker says that “fracking” isn’t a word. I disagree.

I have been staying on track and getting exercise. I am down another five pounds.

Depression and stress are kicking my ass, hard. And I don’t feel hungry. It is hard to eat enough. Day before yesterday I got less than 700 calories in. Yesterday it was less than 600.

I can’t control the situation that has me so stressed and I just need to deal, pull out of this funk and move forward. I am working on it.

Tomorrow is the first day of Autumn! Summer is done. At last! Although we won’t be in full Fall mode for a bit yet, even up here in the mountains, Autumn arrives a little later, here in Arizona. But just knowing that the season is changing and that I will soon be reveling in crisp temperatures and gloriously coloured leaves makes it all worthwhile.

I love Autumn. It is the season in which I was born and the season in which I feel the most alive. He. He. With my deep love for this season, perhaps rather than a Christian, I should have been a Pagan.

I had a good, on track day, yesterday. I was a little on the hongry side. Needed to feed a bit, so I did. Got in 1498 calories. A few more than I normally do. But it is all good. I feel good and am happy about it. I drank my water, too. I need to get a little exercise, today. Somehow, I need to manage it. I actually feel the need to move. And I really do want to develop the habit of exercising. I know that it is something that I need to do for myself. For so many good reasons and I am beginning to shed my mental block against it. I don’t claim to be Super Gym Queen, here, but I am coming around. A little.

Tomorrow is weigh in day. I am really looking forward to it. And dreading it, too. I can tell by the way my body feels that I have lost more weight since the 6th of this month. But I dread not seeing that reflected in the number on my scale. I know… It is just a number and a scale is an evil, lying beast. It is just a tool, not something in which I should wrap all my hopes and dreams.

I still want to see a lower number tomorrow.

I am having another good, on track day. Eating well and drinking my water. I don’t have enough privacy to exercise, this weekend. But I think that I need a couple of days to let my bod rest and recover. My left foot and my knees are a bit trashed feeling and my hips hurt a bit. Nothing major, but a rest seems in order. I can get back in action on Monday. Funny enough, I am actually looking forward to it. A little.

Yesterday was an on track day. 1217 calories and day eight without a binge.

I am currently working on day nine. And doing well, so far.

Happy.

Eeep! I need to print out my most recent entries. I am getting behind. (I like to keep hard copies, just in case… )

I was getting ready to get in the shower, earlier and I looked down and saw that my big old gut is beginning to collapse.

I was on track all day, today. I still need to eat a bit more, as I am still too light on my calories. (I still feel weird, saying this. Especially when I think about all the calories I used to eat.)