PhotoChick

About once a week, inevitably, the question comes up on the forums:  How often do you weigh yourself?

Me?  I weigh every day.  Whether I’ve been on plan or off.  Whether I’ve gone to the gym or not.  Whether I’ve used the toilet or not.  Every morning I get up, shower, dry off, and step on the scale.  Every Monday I record my official weight on Livestrong and on my blog.

I do this for two reasons:

First is that I do better knowing what my daily/weekly/monthly variations are. From weighing every day, I can see the pattern when I stop losing right before my TOM, and where I eat something salty and gain water weight, or when I have a really tough workout and retain water. Knowing that makes it easier when I see on a Monday that the scale is up or that I haven’t lost anything … because I can generally tell *why* instead of just freaking out that my weekly weigh in was high.

Second is that I know myself and I know that weighing is not something that becomes an obsession with me. Nor do I freak out about the scale. So it’s not a big deal for me to weigh daily. If it were something that I got depressed over or freaked out over or otherwise emotionally involved, I probably would try to avoid it. But for me the scale is a good motivator and a good indicator for me .. and nothing more.

Does that mean I don’t occasionally weigh myself in the afternoon or evening as well?  Nah.  I sometimes step on the scale just randomly throughout the day to see what’s going on with my body.  But again - I don’t tend to obsess about the scale number and if I weigh more in the afternoon than in the morning, it doesn’t freak me out.

The bonus is that I have learned so much about the way my body works by weighing myself regularly and then by doing so at odd times of the day and seeing how the results fluctuate.

• I know that I will gain and lose up to 6lb a day, depending on what I eat or drink.
• I know that sometimes I will show a weight loss just by going to the bathroom and sometimes I won’t.
• I know that I will show a weight gain from retaining water 2 days after eating a lot of salty stuff (or 2 days after having sushi, which I will drown in soy and wasabi).
• I know that I will gain 3-5 lbs of water weight right before my period and then will “whoosh” it all off on the 4th day.
• I know that my lowest weight of the day is within 30 mins after I get up.
• I know that my jeans weigh 1.2 lbs.

Weighing in every day might not work for everyone, but it sure as heck works for me.

Filed under: weight | 1 Comment »

I know some people think I just pushed the whole thing too far and maybe it is partially because I’m having a really shitty month this month and dealing with a LOT of stress.  It’s entirely possible that I’m being over sensitive.

But.

What has disappointed me so about the thread is nearly as much of the actual content of the thread itself.  It’s the attitude and the words that have been used by some people - especially by some people whose thoughts and opinions I really respect.

The attitude that if you find this thread hurtful or misleading or even (as one person said) offensive, YOU need to change your perspective, lighten up, get over yourself.  There wasn’t even a pause for someone to say “gosh, I never meant it to be taken that way and I guess I see how it might be, even if that wasn’t the intent.”

It was simply the 100% knee-jerk response of “If you don’t like it, lighten up or go away, you baiting troll.”

I guess maybe because I am stressed and sensitive this week/month, it was really hurtful to see normally supportive 3FCers be so unwilling to even try to see the other side of the coin.

Today I feel like illusions have been shattered.  And I am disappointed.  And sad.

Filed under: life, rant | 2 Comments »

There’s a thread on the board about motivators and a few of us have admitted to having some fairly shallow reasons for staying motivated. 

I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to admit my shallow motivations.  Sure I want to lose weight to be healthier.  I want to be fit.  I want to run that 5k in honor of my friend.  I want to shoot a wedding and not feel run over by a truck at the end of the day.  I want to be healthy and mindful of what I eat and how I eat affects the world around me. I have plenty of serious and righteous reasons to do what I’m doing.

But I also want to look hot.  I want to wear the little black skirt and kicky boots.  I want to be able to show a bit of my tummy in the summer time and be proud of my abs.  I want to flex my arms and show definition and have people look and say “wow”.

And next October when I go to convention in NYC, I want to run into a certain group of people and have them do double and triple takes as I sashay through the lobby looking like $10 million.  I want those certain people to go “Is that … ?  No!  It can’t be!  Holy sh*t it is!!!”  And I want to enjoy every blessed minute of it.

And yes, that’s shallow and petty and somewhat childish.  But the vision of it often keeps me going when nothing else will.

Filed under: life | 3 Comments »

One of my goals for 2009 is to run in the Atlanta Purple Stride 5k, to help support PanCan (the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network).

Today I took the first step - setting a baseline for my progress.

Normally on Mondays I do HIIT cardio.  Today I did my HIIT on the treadmill, but also took the opportunity to see how far I could run in 30 mins.  I alternated a very fast paced walk with short jog/sprints for 30 mins.  At the end of the time I had gone 2.01 miles.

I’m VERY pleased with that.  I really had not anticipated that I’d be able to do 2 full miles in 30 mins; I’m not sure why, but I just wasn’t.

That means that getting to a 3 mile mark should be - I’m not gonna say easy - but easier than I had thought.  I plan to work on the 5k one day a week, in addition to my usual weights and HIIT.  As I get closer to the date, I’ll probably ramp that up some.  We’ll see how I do.

Onward.

Filed under: 5k, exercise | 3 Comments »

Today I weighed in at 170.  Actually 170.2, if you want to get technical about it.

I haven’t been 170 for nearly 2 months now.  And what’s really frustrating to me is that for a few brief shining moments in September, I was actually down at 158.  Just barely, but I was there.  And now the 150s are a number that seem to be fading into the distance again.

I have taken a hard look at my eating the last few weeks and at my working out and I just can’t find the problem.  Yes, I’ve eaten more this past week than I should have - and some of the foods that I shouldn’t be eating.  But I’ve still tracked carefully and even though I’ve gone over my daily 1500 calorie range to lose, and even a few days exceeded 2000 cals a day, I’ve made up for it over the next few days.  I’ve actually been very careful to not blow past the 12,600 calorie per week range (which is right about maintenance for me, at my current weight).  And the bottom line is that I *know* I have not consumed an extra 21,000 calories over the last 2 weeks.  My meal tracking at the Daily Plate shows me that clearly.

I’ve also been VERY consistent about going to the gym the last few weeks because I know that my eating has not been stellar.

But this month has been weird in all kinds of ways anyway - a very late TOM (like 5 days late), a very heavy flow once it did get here, more than normal bloating, massive cravings that I’ve had a very hard time fighting, and just general weirdness related to my body and my cycle.  The only thing I can think of is that it’s stress.

It could also be weather related.  The weather here has finally gotten *cold* - cold enough to require constant use of the fireplace, sweatshirts inside, slippers and fuzzy socks.  So maybe my body is storing fat for the winter?  I dunno.

All I know is that I’m frustrated because if it goes on like this throughout the rest of the holiday season, I’ll be up in the 180s before I can blink.  And that’s simply unacceptable.

So today is a little bit of a mental Get-Back-On-Track day.  I packed myself a huge cooler of veggies, veggie soup, and lean protein (can you say leftover turkey breast?).  I’ve got 2 1/2-gal bottles of water on my desk as I type.  I need to reset my brain and be very strict with myself for the next week and see if I can work on getting this weight off - whether it’s water or fat or a combination of the two.

I don’t believe in detoxes or cleanses or any of that.  But I do believe in a mental cleanse, so to speak.  And it’s time for me to have a mental cleanse … to get my shit together and spend the next 2 weeks eating as clean as I can and pushing my workouts a little to get myself back on track.  Christmas week is coming - with all that entails and I need to have my head on straight to deal with it properly.

Filed under: life, weight | 1 Comment »

I did ok this holiday.

I actually did worse the day *after* Thanksgiving than on Thanksgiving itself.  I think the cooking and standing and working made me much more mindful of the food I was eating.  It was the next day when I didn’t cook anything at all that the lure of leftovers was a little too much to resist.

It didn’t help that I started my TOM on Thanksgiving day, so there is significant water retention and bloating there, too.

My weight is up nearly 10 lbs today.  But I know for a fact that there’s no way I ate 35,000 calories over the course of 3 days.  I also know for a fact that I ate a LOT of salty stuff.  And 4 pieces of pie over the course of 2 days.

So all day yesterday and all day today I have been chugging water like crazy.  I didn’t make it to the gym on Friday, but I did on Saturday and then on Sunday I managed a long (3+ mile) walk around the lake.  I thought about breaking out the rollerblades, but it was drizzly and wet and I’m not that confident on them yet.

On the other hand, spending 4 days at home, I got my entire kitchen and dining room cleaned and mopped after the holiday chaos.  I got 3 more bags of stuff taken to Goodwill.  I got all of my old recipe files sorted and input into Mastercook.  I got 3 bags of pantry goods to the food bank.  I got a box of old magazines to the recycle, and I got a handful more items listed on Ebay.  And I got all my image CDs transferred over to the last of my external hard drives.

I’m still working on items for my Etsy store … I’d really like to make some sales before the holidays, but I’m running out of time a bit.

That’s the Thanksgiving update.

Filed under: food, life, weight | No Comments »

Every so often a thread comes up on the boards where people start to discuss “what skinny people do”.  First the disclaimer is that the topic generally refers to people who are healthy and in a “normal” weight range, not necessarily “skinny” with all that can imply.  So I don’t really have a problem with the “skinny” part of it.

People who are “naturally” slender and healthy, generally tend to have a different relationship to food than those of us who are overweight.  I think that’s pretty much a logical truth.  And I certainly don’t have a problem with threads that discuss that difference, talk about the habits of people we all know, and question how we can achieve a similar relationship to food.  I think that’s all very very valid discussion.

What I have a problem with is how the threads tend to degenerate into this series of proclamations about What Skinny People Do.   That annoys me because (a) just as there is no huge list of “what all fat people do”, there is no huge list of “what all skinny people do” and (b) as the thread goes on, the list always becomes more and more ridiculous with things like “skinny people don’t eat sweets” and “skinny people don’t crave things” and “skinny people don’t lick the bowl” and so forth.

Now, it could be that I’m just a bitch and enjoy stirring up trouble.  I know there are a few who see me that way on the board.  Whatever.

The truth is that posting some bullsh*t authoritative “list” of What Skinny People do is harmful to those people who are trying to get a handle on their eating.  After the more general list of healthy habits, every ridiculous thing that gets posted just facilitates the guilt and self-doubt that a fat person feels when she (or he) does one of those things.  And it sets up an impossible burden on the person trying to change their habits … because it’s no longer about what skinny people do, but it has become a list of What Fat People Should Do If They Want To Be Skinny.  And most of it is complete and utter hogwash.

Skinny people do eat sweets.  They even look forward to eating sweets as a treat.
Skinny people do lick the bowl when they make cake or brownies or cornbread or whatever.
Skinny people don’t get orgasmic over going to the gym.
Skinny people don’t always *want* to choose fruit over candy.
Skinny people don’t always eschew potatoes, rices, pastas, and cream sauces.
Skinny people do drink and do sometimes drink to excess.

And all of that is OK.  It’s ok if you do those things when you’re fat, too.  As long as you do them mindfully and you keep in mind your eating plan and your health.

But fostering this idea that skinny people (whatever that might mean to you) are these paragons of virtue who get orgasmic over working out and eating an apple is just … silly.

Thank you for reading my rant.  Feel free to agree or disagree.

Filed under: life, rant | 5 Comments »

I don’t diet.

Not only that - I don’t believe in “diets”. I hate the very idea of diets. I hate the concept that you can “start” eating some way and lose weight and then “stop” eating that way and expect it to all be magically ok. I hate the idea that you have to restrict yourself to be on a “diet” and that you have to suffer.  I hate the idea that if you eat something you want you’ve “cheated” or you’ve “failed” or you’ve “fallen off the wagon”.

A diet is something that ends and then you go back to your old way of life and gain weight again.

I’m also of the belief that if you deprive yourself of the things you want and the things you love, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. Because eventually you’re going to FEEL deprived, and then you’re going to give up and say “to hell with it”.

The only thing that really works, long term, is to make a permanent change in your life - to the way you eat, the way you exercise, and your entire mindset/outlook on your health. Anything else is just, IMO, a temporary fix and will collapse as soon as you go “off” your diet.

For me that means calorie counting, eating whole foods and avoiding processed foods as much as possible, and exercise. I try to stay within a range of calories (1500 +/-). I eat whole foods and natural foods.  I avoid packaged and processed foods as much as possible. I try to exercise every day - although only maybe 4-5 days a week is actually going to the gym and exercising. Other days I try to exercise at home or by getting out and being active.

Even more:  I am not forbidden to eat anything. I eat for life. And in my life there are going to be french fries. There are going to be dinners at the Mexican restaurant with chips and queso. There are going to be birthday cakes. There are going to be office events with bagels and donuts and muffins. That’s life.

That means that I look at the calories I’ve consumed for the day and I see if I can have a brownie. If I can, I do. Or even 1/2 a brownie. And I enjoy it. If I can’t have one tonight, I make room in my calories for one tomorrow - maybe for a morning snack. And then I have something to look forward to. Really, one brownie? One brownie is about 180 calories. Most people can fit that in as a snack if they really really really want it.

I honestly and truly believe that diets don’t work. What works is creating a lifestyle that’s conducive to being healthy and active.  I have made significant changes in my life over the last 2 years; in what I eat, in the way I eat, in the amount of exercise I get. And there is nothing in my mind that says “I’m on a diet” … because I’m not. I’m just eating what I eat.

And doing so has allowed me to lose 75 pounds and keep it off for nearly 2 years now.

Filed under: food, life, weight | 3 Comments »

I got “accused” this week of eating all the time, and I really had to stop and think about that.

On the one hand it made me laugh and remember a few lines from the first Lord of the Rings movie:

Aragorn: Gentlemen, we do not stop till nightfall.
Pippin: What about breakfast?
Aragorn: You’ve already had it.
Pippin: We’ve had one, yes. What about second breakfast?
Merry: I don’t think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.
Pippin: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn’t he?
Merry: I wouldn’t count on it.

Did I just reveal my inner geek?  Oh well.  It had to come out sooner or later.

But the point is, after hearing someone tell me that I ate all the time, and after thinking about it, I realized I *do* eat all the time.

The difference between now and the past is not how often I eat, but in what I eat.  In the past I ate chips.  Peanut butter crackers from the vending machine.  Cookies.  Chips.  Candy bars.  Hamburgers.  Chips.  Bread and cheese.  Pastries.  Chips.

Now?  I budget for 3 meals and 3-4 snacks a day.  But here’s an average day of eating for me:

• Breakfast:  oats and cheese or yogurt and fruit
• Snack:  apple, cheese
• Lunch:  soup or salad, rice with chicken, quinoa and veggies, something like that.
• Snack: V8, boiled egg
• Post workout:  Protein powder in water or juice
• Dinner:  some kind of protein (chicken, fish, pork), veggies, salad
• Snack:  fruit bar or popcorn or yogurt

It’s true.  I eat all the time.  I’m always either eating something or drinking something.  The difference is that what I’m eating or drinking is real food.  Not chips.  Not crackers.  I’m eating fruit, cheese, eggs.  When I snack I make a healthy choice, not a junky one.

Does that mean I never eat junk food?  Of course not.  I have a hamburger from Five Guys a couple of times a month.  I go out to eat with friends and order what I want w/out thinking about calories probably once a week.  I even eat … *gasp* … french fries!!

But I don’t eat those things every day, and when I do choose to eat them, I do so with full knowledge of what I’m eating.  I make a CONCIOUS CHOICE, rather than eating them mindlessly.  And I don’t eat them all the time.

Even if I am eating something … all the time.

Filed under: food | 3 Comments »

As of this morning I’m 165.2.

That’s 1 lb less than my recorded weight, over there to the right.  So I’m not in as bad a place as I thought I was yesterday.  We’ll see what the official Monday weight winds up being.

Still, at one point, for one brief shining moment, I was at 159 lbs.  I can get there again.  I know it.

Today I’m doing some cooking and some cooking photography for another blog and for stock sales.  One of the things I hope to highlight is *healthy* holiday recipes that won’t break the calorie bank.

I also have a new cooking blog idea in the works, but I want to get some things in place before I announce it anywhere.  Things are looking up.

Filed under: life, weight | No Comments »