I got eaten alive yesterday. Worked 13 hours and still didn’t get caught up! I got home at 5:00 but I had to make some changes to the newsletter because of stuff people didn’t give me before I left so I brought it home with me and didn’t get finished with it until 8:00 pm. By then, I was ready to eat some dinner, help Andrew with his homework, and crawl into bed at 10:00. Hopefully, I can get caught up on some of your blogs today.

Yeah, I hear you, Joy and Brandie! I really don’t need to fool with this staff party. I’ve got way too much going on. Turns out, however, that Phyllisann was fooling with me. I’m not doing it by myself. There are three of us and I hope she’s going to take the lead but I’m going to be helping out.

The ROTC money was still safely stashed in my desk but I still didn’t get time to go to the bank. I’ve GOT to get that done today. We have a Booster Club meeting this evening and I want to be able to report a big fat deposit. Okay…instead of blogging, I’m going to try to catch up with you guys over the next 15 minutes!

6:15 - Feeling a little insecure about what I’m wearing today. A gorgeous, lime green cami, black pants, red Barbies, and a black jacket with a lot of different colors running through it, mostly red but it has green as well. Problem is…the cami is really sexy so I can’t take the jacket off all day and the jacket is from last winter so it’s too big in the shoulders and it’s a boxy thing with no real fitted seams in it. hmmm…I hate when I do this. If I get started, I’ll wind up trying on a dozen different tops, a half dozen pair of pants, and several jackets and I’ll leave for work with them thrown all over the bedroom. Better to stick with what I’ve got. It’s been freezing in the library at school anyway so I shouldn’t have a problem leaving the jacket on all day.

6:45- Okay, Okay, Okay…so I changed to a pair of jeans and added BIG dangly green earrings. I think I can live with it.

5:00 pm - Just got home and I have thirty minutes before I have to go back to school.  I stayed after for a meeting and to get info about the Christmas staff party.  I suggested we have DS cater it because I know he’ll give us the best deal he can but I still want him to make something for doing it.  Principal agreed with this yesterday and I talked to him.  Told him to figure up a bid for finger foods for 175 people.  Today, Phyllisann met with the principal to get an idea of what she wants.  She wants chicken wings, meatballs, chicken drummettes, sauces to go with them, assorted cheeses and crackers, fruit trays, veggie trays (both with dips) punch, chips and dip, and an assortment of cookies, fudge, or brownies for dessert.  No pies or cakes.  Okay…ready for this?  Her budget is $400.00 for 175 people.  I felt my temper rising but didn’t want to blow.  Felt like saying, “Are you CRAZY???”  I backed off the conversation because I was getting steamed.  I know David is putting together a menu for us today with prices and I felt like saying, “If you knew what you wanted, why am I having him come up with suggestions?”  Of course, the budget is ridiculous.  Nuff said…

I’m totally starving!  No breakfast, I took stuff for a salad for lunch and found the lettuce to be old and icky, the grape tomatoes were okay, the fat free cheese was gross, and the “bacon bits” DH got me were the fake things that taste like crunchy little rocks.  Went to put the dressing on it and discovered that someone ate my favorite salad dressing from my little fridge.  Poured some mediocre dressing over it, ate a few bites, and tossed it in the trash.  Gonna try to find something to eat before I have to run back to school.  Oh, yeah, I finally made it to the bank and deposited the moolah.  Big relief to have $1,162.00 out of my desk drawer!  I also kept my jacket open and showed cleavage most of the day.  Hope I didn’t contaminate any young minds.

Later!

Off to the shower and into the lion’s den.

Now I can get the RV unpacked and get my mind wrapped around work.  Phyllisann called the house earlier today and left a message that I was selected to do the staff Christmas party.  I guess that’s what I get for being gone today.  Not sure what that entails but I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.

DH and I did not want to come home.  We were on the balcony in the cabin, in our tee shirts, watching the sunset and he said, “I wish we didn’t have to go home.  Ever…”  I know what he means.  We sleep to the sounds of birds and crickets.  The only light is from the moon and stars.  Half the time, our cell phones won’t work and we love it. 

We’ve been home an hour.  The phone has rang at least six times.  DS is here with his latest girlfriend.  She has her ratty little dog with her and he ran in and peed on the carpet.  DIL showed up with granddaughter, Holly, and then called me to tell me to make sure she doesn’t hang around with DS’s girlfriend because, I quote, “She’s nothing but a slut.”  I told her to talk to DS and leave me out of it and she immediately starts telling me all kinds of crap and trying to put me in the middle.  DS comes in the kitchen complaining about her and I told him I don’t want to hear it.  Just get the damn divorce and be done with it.  He says he’s paid for it and signed all the papers and she’s the one who won’t finish it up.  I don’t know.  I don’t care.  I just want to go back to Florida.

Okay, so let’s go back to Florida…The weather was gorgeous Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.  It was gorgeous Saturday morning but then it started raining and turned off cold Saturday afternoon.  I got most of the grass mowed and that was a major job.  I hadn’t been down there since the first week of April.  The meadow had grown up to where the weeds were over my head in a lot of areas.  I cut it.  Then I cut it again.  Then I cut it at right angles to the other two times I cut it, and finally, I cut all the areas that didn’t go down in all the other cuttings.  I went walking in the woods several times.  Had long steamy soaks in the clawfoot tub and looked at a million stars while I laid back and sipped wine or beer.  Lots of times, when I’m lying out there late at night, I imagine that a deer wanders out of the woods and stands in the clearing.  One of these days, it’s going to happen.  In the meantime, I just lie under the stars and wait.

Weighing in at 167 this morning.  Gotta keep an eye on that number.

It was cold yesterday afternoon.  Cold and rainy.  I tried to pack some stuff but it was miserable outside.  I made a few trips back and forth from the RV.  Loaded some of the groceries, some clean sheets and towels, a couple of books.  I kept getting interrupted and finally gave up.  I’m sure I’ll regret it this afternoon when I get off work and still have to finish packing before we leave but that’s just the way it’s going to be.

Right now, I’m going to make my bed and start piling stuff on it that needs to be taken out there.  So much more difficult when the twins and my mother are going.  Usually, it’s just a matter of throwing my makeup and clean underwear in there and hitting the road.

Had kt’s Mexican chicken last night. It was so good! Had it over brown rice with fat free sour cream and fat free cheese. Yummy! Made a double batch since DS is here and I had 4 hungry men (not one of them under six feet) for dinner. Even though I doubled it, there’s not a whole lot left.

Babied my arm yesterday. Kept it in one of those icy hot sleeves, soaked in the spa, and put a heating pad on it last night. It’s much better this morning.

Speaking of the spa…I was sitting out there yesterday afternoon and looked up to see a red cardinal waaaaay up there. The setting sun was hitting it just right and I was thinking, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a red bird flying so high.” About that time, I saw about 30 more coming into my view. Really strange to see all those red birds flocking. I’ve never seen them do that before. I got out of the spa to watch them when the house cut off the view and they just kept coming. There must have been a couple hundred. Flashy red birds against the blue sky. I watched them until I noticed the roofers on my neighbor’s house staring at me. Probably wondering why I was standing out on the patio in a wet bathing suit with steam rolling off my body when it was 30 degrees. “Well, why are you up there on the roof when it’s 30 degrees and a Sunday?”

School should be interesting today. Remember the newsletter I wrote to recognize outstanding students that the principal was so excited about? I turned it over to our graphics department almost a month ago. They told the principal it would take two weeks to get it printed. She’s been getting very perturbed as they made one excuse after another and finally demanded that it be done no later than Friday morning. We’ve already completed the second six weeks grading period and the newsletter from the first six weeks still hasn’t gone out. They finally sent them to her Friday afternoon and they were not good. They only did 1,200 when she ordered 2,000. The printing was very light and hard to read. The pictures are so dark you can barely make them out, there are smudges, and the headlines are pixilated. She was pissed! She told me she was meeting with all of them at 11:30 today and I was welcome to attend if I wanted. At least it’s not me she’s angry with. She sent an email to the staff Friday afternoon letting them know that the newsletters would be distributed last period and thanking me for all my hard work in putting it together. Not a word of thanks to the graphics department. I guess I should attend the meeting. She and I both know my part was well done and timely but I guess it would be smart to attend and cover myself. Don’t want to be blamed for anything they did wrong. It’ll be interesting to observe her and see how she handles them.

Went to bed early and woke up early but I’ve still gotta get off here if I’m going to get my 15 minute wakeup aerobic session in.

7:15 p.m. - Not much time. I’m trying to get packed to head out tomorrow after work. I took a personal day for Monday so we won’t be back till then. I’ll be incommunicato for a few days.

The meeting went well today. I talked with the principal before the meeting and told her I’d like to keep the newsletter in school. It doesn’t speak well for us that we’re a graphic program and send out our printing. She agreed but held a hard line with the teachers in graphics and the end result was their committment to get the newsletter published and looking good within 7 school days of when I give it to them. I think the guys learned a few things about how tough she can be. She draws a hard line. The kids may be doing most of the work but they should be supervised and nothing should go out to the public until it’s perfect.

8:30 - I can’t seem to get anything done.  My sister called and I talked with her.  Mom called and I talked with her.  DS came by with the grandkiddies to kiss us goodbye and wish us Happy Thanksgiving and DGS needs help with his homework.  It looks like I’m going to be doing some packing tomorrow morning and I’ll still need to do some things after I get off work cause it’s getting late and I can’t seem to get anything done.  I’ll probably blog for a few minutes tomorrow.  Maybe a little during work if I get a few minutes.  If not, Happy Thanksgiving, little chickies!  Safe journeys, good food, lots of love, and hugs galore!

Lunch:
2 slices Pepperidge Farm 15 Grain Bread (240)
Sliced Turkey Breast (60)
1 slice Cheese (120)
4 grape tomatoes (10)

Dinner:

kt’s Mexican Chicken (300)
Brown Rice (200)
Wedge Salad with lettuce, fat free ranch, bacon bits, reduced fat blue cheese (100)

Total 1,160

Cold feet in the weight department, too. I’ve been off track for quite a while now. Brandie brought it home to me in her comment yesterday. I’ve been drifting (drowning?) for a while. One of the first signs is when I stop recording weight and stop recording food. That stops today. Granted, I’m heading for the danger zone with so much stuff going on but I’m going to write it down. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It truly was with a sense of foreboding that I stepped on the scales this morning. I even thought about trying to be really good for a few days and then weighing myself in a week or so. Yeah, get real! It’s Thanksgiving week, Shortcake. It ain’t gonna get any better.

So I did. Took that giant leap of commitment and stepped on the scales. 167.5. There. Is that so scary? Face up to it. It’s a warning. A nudge in the psyche. Get back on track, Sistah Pat. Come on back home.

I’m not going to promise myself a perfect week. That would be foolish. I am, however, going to get back to some serious exercise and recording my food and weight. I keep telling myself it’s a lifestyle. It’s the way I live my life now. Yes, there’s all kinds of stuff coming up. Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas goodies, the cruise, those things are all out there and I’m going to indulge and enjoy them. Life is about celebration and I have a lot of celebrating coming up. To deny that would mean that it really isn’t a lifestyle but a burden. It would make this whole odyssey nothing but another diet. The trick is going to be to recognize that there are days before, during, and after the celebrating that should be normal. Days when I work out, eat healthy, and let my body recover from the indulgences.

I’ve been drifting. “Tis the season” and all that bologna. If I think that way, I’ll just drift for the next two months. Thank goodness for this blog and you guys. It makes it impossible for me to drift away into the horizon because all my little chickie friends are keeping tabs on me and I can’t just walk away because I love seeing what’s going on in your lives and chatting with everyone. I’m not walking away.

So…I feel soooo much better today. Still a little sore throat hangin around and a bit of lethargy but not enough to keep me down. I’m going to do a long hard workout today and enjoy every minute of it. I’ve already weighed myself for the first time in a couple weeks and I’m recording everything I eat today. I’ve got all day today, tomorrow, and most of Tuesday to prepare for Thanksgiving. If I do what I should do beforehand, I don’t need to be afraid of celebrating and I don’t need to see it as an excuse to drift into bad habits.

Later, chickies…My treadmill is lonely…

10:00 - Guess my treadmill is going to have to stay lonely. It just doesn’t get it anymore. I do high intensity step aerobics and my heart rate goes up to 85% but then I get on the treadmill and it drops down to 65%. Everytime I hopped on, I felt like I’d stopped working out. Anyway, I let it run, just so it wouldn’t feel neglected. Had some trouble getting going. My ankle really bothered me. It was stiff and painful and didn’t loosen up until I’d been at it for about 20 minutes. My right arm hurts. It feels like I pulled a muscle or something. It’s been bothering me for a couple days. I carried a ton of groceries in the house Friday and I think I overdid it. Funny thing about those plastic bags. You can loop a dozen of them on your hand and then when you lift, it weighs a ton but it’s too much trouble to untangle all the loops and put something down. Anyway…I burned 500 calories and worked out for an hour. Felt pretty good after I got through the first 20 minutes but I had to baby that arm and should probably continue to baby it for a day or two.

Now…let’s avoid that whole dinner rut and actually plan a meal so I won’t wind up a victim of DH’s kitchen disasters today.

1:30 - Pretty much have things under control. Went to Kroger. What a nightmare! Why didn’t all those people buy stuff for Thanksgiving dinner last week? I was lucky to get out alive. Anyway, I bought the stuff for kt’s Mexican chicken dish and it’s crocking on the counter. Ate my oatmeal for breakfast, ate a healthy but high calorie (for me) sandwich for lunch and now I’m ready for another 15 minute workout to get that heart rate back up there. I was shocked to find that my nice heart healthy sandwich has 400 calories. Gonna try to get rid of some of that.

2:00 - Did 15 minutes and burned 130 calories. That brings that sandwich down in the ballpark. Shaves it down from 400 to 270. Much better! Plus, I’ll continue to burn more calories for the next hour or so.

I need to get the shopping done for Thanksgiving dinner and I’ve been sitting here thinking about it for two or three hours but I don’t think that’s going to get it done.  Finally took my shower and I’m heading out.  My hair looks like Hell, I don’t have any makeup on, and I’m talking through my nose.  What do you want to bet I’m going to run into someone I know?

1:15 - Home again.  I wore jeans, Susan, because I don’t have the strength to keep tugging my panties up.  I went by GFS and picked up frozen yeast rolls for Thanksgiving dinner.  We got them last year and they were fabulous.  All you have to do is let the balls of dough thaw for 45 minutes, put them in a warm place and let them rise for another 45 minutes and bake.  Although I can do it, I’m not much on making homemade yeast breads.  Too much work.  I keep kicking around the idea of ordering Thanksgiving dinner at Winn Dixie (Sorry, Ashleigh, they don’t have Krogers in Florida) so I don’t have to deal with so much cooking but the problem is that their idea of Thanksgiving dinner and my idea of Thankgiving dinner aren’t even close.  I went by Kroger and picked up a few more things and then managed to drag my sorry butt into the door of Dressbarn and pick up a jacket I’ve been looking at.  Only a truly strong woman can go shopping in my condition.  I tried on a jacket a couple of weeks ago when I was out with DIL and really liked it.  The price was good, the fit was good, and DIL loved it.  I put it back because we were going to Edinburgh last weekend.  Ever since, I’ve been telling myself, “I should have bought that jacket.  Why didn’t I?”  Add DIL who keeps telling me, “You need to go back and get that jacket.  It looks great on you.” to the mix and it’s been nagging me like crazy.  There!  Now I have the jacket.  Happy??  Oh, yeah…I managed to try on a few tops, too and got a nice one to go with the jacket.  uhhhh…earrings, too.  Sometimes I even inspire myself…

Here’s the upcoming Thanksgiving scenario:

Tuesday will be a pain at work.  It’s always a pain when we’re preparing for a few days off.  Lots to do.  I’ll be run ragged and then head out the door as quick as I can to run home, throw some last minute stuff in the RV, and hit the road (hopefully) by 4:00.  An hour’s drive will bring us to Mom’s place where we’ll pick her up and prop her up on the couch with a good book.  Around 6:00, we’ll break out the homemade chicken salad, some chips, and my homemade potato salad and eat dinner while driving.  Poor Mom, she can’t really travel anymore and this trip is like her vacation for the year.  Kind of sad but she’s been looking forward to it since last summer and I want to do everything I can to make it a good trip for her.  She loves my potato salad and said she’s been dreaming of my chicken salad so I’ve gotta make sure we have plenty on hand.  We’ll drive until around 10:00 and then pull over to Wally World (Walmart) for the night.  Next morning, we’ll hit the road again and have breakfast at Bojangles Chicken because we stopped last year and Mom went bonkers over their chicken.  We don’t have them in Kentucky anymore and she’s been fantasizing about it since last Thanksgiving.  We pulled over for breakfast last year because DH likes their sausage biscuits but Mom tried the chicken and hasn’t forgotten it.  I suspect the food just tastes so much better to her because it’s not the same old, same old and she doesn’t have to fix it.  For whatever reason, she’s looking forward to it so it’s going to happen.  She struggled with weight issues all her life and now, at 84, she weighs 119 and eats whatever she wants.  Is that fair?  I mean, at 84, she could care less.  She also loves a really nice bookstore we found at an outlet that has recycled library books for no more that $1.99 each.  They’re really current books by bestselling authors and all the proceeds go to charity.  What happens is that libraries order a bunch of hard cover books that are current and then, after the initial six month demand, they give most of them to this place and you can pick them up cheap.  Mom will have a glorious time picking out stacks of books for the upcoming winter.  Last time, she bought 30 books.  I’ll pick up some, too, but I never seem to get time to read them and don’t know what I did with the ones I bought last year.  Probably left them down at the cabin.  While Mom and I are shopping for books, DH will take the RV to the nearest grocery store and pick up everything I have on the grocery list.  Another 30 minutes or so and we’ll be at our place in Madison.

We should be getting to Madison around 2:00 in the afternoon and it’s probably a mess.  I haven’t been down since last April and the grass is probably over my head.  I’ll jump out of the RV and onto the riding mower and run a few quick laps around the area of the cabin and the RV area so it won’t be a jungle.  The rest of the afternoon will be spent getting the cabin up and running and cleaned up (I imagine it’s pretty dusty and has a few gecko skeletons lying around.)  DH and I will move into the cabin (the Pattyshack).  Grandkids, 17 year old twins Andrew and Steven, and Mom will take over the RV, and DS (who’s talking about driving down with his current girlfriend) will have the old RV which we leave parked in Florida.  The twins and I will head down the path from the cabin to the clawfoot tub and shower deck and put up a screenhouse around it.  The daggone thing is so big it takes 8 shower curtains to enclose it but it’s not like it’s just DH and I so we’d better get it covered so Mom or DS won’t be shocked to find me lounging around naked in the clawfoot tub out in the open.   While we’re setting up the screenhouse around the tub, DH will be destroying any semblance of peace and quiet by calling the dish people to reactivate the satellite and pick up seven or eight hundred TV stations.

The plan was to build two little cabins on our property for guests and a small retirement home for DH and I.  When I’m old(er), I don’t want to have to work my butt off cleaning house.  I want a very small, very nice little place that won’t eat me alive.  Having decided that, we wondered what we would do with guests when they came to visit and figured we’d build two little guest cabins for visitors.  The idea being that we’d say, “Oh my gosh!  We’ve missed you so much!  Give me a hug and then take all your crap up to the cabin in the north forty and don’t come back till dinner time.  Oh…and be sure to clean the cabin before you leave.”  In theory, it sounded pretty good.  We bought ten acres and figured that would give us plenty of room and plenty of privacy.  Six months after we bought the place, they changed the zoning in our little rural area and said you couldn’t have more than one dwelling for every ten acres.  Since we hadn’t started any construction yet, we couldn’t be grandfathered in.  We could have sold the place but it’s perfect and we truly love it.  So…we decided to build a very nice “barn” and a super nice “garage”.  We built a large, two-story “barn” with electricity (for tools, of course), two bathrooms (for washing the gunk off in case we step in any cow doo doo) and an upstairs door leading to the balcony so the cows could enjoy the sunset.  Not exactly what we had in mind but then, we won’t be the ones staying in it.

We’ve pretty much finished the upstairs in the “barn”.  It’s all been drywalled, two ceiling fans, lots of windows, air conditioned, and a half bath.  The downstairs still isn’t finished.  We have to insulate (in case the cows get cold), drywall, put in a ceramic tile floor (makes it easier to muck the stalls), plumb the kitchen, and put in the shower stall and bathroom fixtures.  (You might have to pee while you’re taking care of the cows.)

That’s where we are.  We were really gung-ho in the beginning.  Cleared about six acres and made paths through the woods.  Poured a foundation and built the barn.  Finished the upstairs, moved a full size stove and refrigerator into the downstairs, put a king size four poster bed upstairs, and now we’re stalled.  We went to Hawaii for a month in 2007, and then took the RV trip for a month in 2008, and we haven’t been working on the place like we should for the last couple of years.  It’s just primitive enough to be totally quiet, isolated, and serene and keep everyone from wanting to “borrow” it, and just civilized enough to be able to have all the major comforts.  I can walk through the woods and stare at a billion stars without a streetlight in sight.  The dark is dark and the silence is punctuated only by the sound of the crickets and birds.  At some point, we’re going to have to bite the bullet, finish the barn, and have our retirement home built.

Thursday, of course, will be cooking and mowing grass.  I’ll put a turkey in the roaster, and then try to get the meadow mowed and bulldoze my way through my path in the woods because I’m sure it’s overgrown with vicious thorns and fallen trees or limbs.  Dinner will be a monumental pain as I try to cook in the tiny kitchen in the RV or the big kitchen in the cabin which doesn’t have kitchen counters or sinks yet.  I turned out a pretty good spread last year and we dined on the picnic table on the porch of the cabin.  I have all the pots and pans and dishes that I need for a nice dinner but I don’t have a kitchen table.  Fun, fun, fun!  It’ll be worth it though.  Mom and I will walk through my freshly cleared path in the woods after dinner and the dishes will be turned over to the men.  I’ll relax in the clawfoot tub with the tankless water heater that never runs out of hot water and let the water run over the sides and down onto the grass and flower beds.  Finally, I’ll take the path back to the cabin, walk up the stairs and curl up in bed with the windows open and a brand new book to keep me occupied.  sigh…

Had a good time with the Sistahs last night.  Ate at a sandwich place that was a Panera clone.  I kept looking at the marquis where they had a frozen mocha cappachino.  I was going to get a diet coke right up to the point where the guy behind the counter asked if I wanted to try their Chocolate Bliss and found myself enthusiastically assuring him that I would.  Thank God it wasn’t as good as it looked or I’d be up there all the time.

Got a little burr under my saddle at the movie theatre where the girl selling the tickets had a cup on the counter saying “Tips”.  Huh??  For what?  Taking my money and handing me a ticket?  You’ve got to be kidding.  Didn’t spoil the movie, though.  Meryl Streep did a fantastic job.  Left me wanting to come home with Jana and Pam, make glittery spandex costumes, and rent a karaoke machine.

Oops!  Blog time is over.  Gotta hit the shower.

To get this day off on the right foot, I’m heading for the shower and then a quick 15 minute session of step aerobics.

6:40 - 20 minutes of aerobics and 160 calories have been booted out!  Off to a good start.  I’m going to really work on breaking that winter routine the next few days.  Gotta stop coming home, hitting the couch, and watching TV.  Today will be easy because I’ve got plans this evening.  The hard part will be eating sensibly when I’m eating out twice today.  Now I’m off to get dressed and go to the meetin!

5:00 - I’m blogging.  So that means I’m not sitting on my butt in front of the TV eating.  Not meeting the Sistahs till 6:30 when we’re getting together for dinner and then Mama Mia at 7:30.  I want to talk about losing weight and supporting each other but I don’t think I’d better bring it up.  Things are a little iffy right now.  I’m not sure why.  Look, here we are last May:

There’s Lisa on the left.  I’m not 100% sure that Lisa was ever really a Sistah.  She didn’t really seem commited.  Kind of hung out with us for a little bit and then she and Pam has some disagreements and Lisa started making excuses about showing up or just not showing up at all.  I think she was looking for an easy way out.  I’m not sure what’s going on with her.  Then, there’s Pam, hiding behind me (and there’s lots of room to hide.  I make a pretty large block.)  Pam’s dealing with some issues right now and I think dieting and exercising is not at the top of her priority list.  She’s headed for gall bladder surgery next month and dealing with a lot of stress in her job and personal life right now.  Jana’s on the right.  Jana is a flighty bird.  Always juggling a million different things and managing to appear confident and full of joy.  Jana just giggles about the dieting and exercising and chastises herself so we don’t have to do it for her.  Me?  I’m not sure where I am.  I may be the only one who really needs the Butt Sistahs.  I miss meeting at the gym and the monthly dinners to compare notes.  It really helped me focus.  I hope we can salvage something.  Of course, we’ll still be good friends.  I love Jana and Pam dearly but I wish we were supporting each other in the eating/exercising/getting in shape routine.  Maybe I should try to form another group but it would be hard to replace these girls.  They’re the cream of the crop and I don’t think I’d feel the same with anyone else.  These guys know me well enough that I can be myself around them.  Of course, I’m paying the gym every month but I finally stopped going because the only reason I joined was to work out with them.  Like I said, I guess we need to decide if we’re still interested in dieting and exercising but I’m not sure tonight is the best time to bring it up.  Tonight is more about rekindling the relationships and easing some tension that’s developed between us.

Think I’ll spend a few minutes checking up with some of you chickies.  I will NOT go into the living room and watch TV.

sigh…off to the showers…

8:00 p.m. _ Wintertime in the spa…

Things changed too quickly.  I’ve had to leave behind the summer routine.  No more wandering out to the backyard and slipping into the covered lean-to beside the house that we use for changing.  No more leisurely undressing and then slipping slowly into the warmth of the spa surrounded by the scent of jasmine and moonflowers.  No more floating under a canopy of leaves and watching the lightshow of the fireflies.  I won’t be stepping out of the spa and going back into the lean-to to dry off with one of the towels hanging on the wall and then getting dressed again.

No, it’s winter now.  That means getting undressed in the house, running out to the spa barefoot and dropping the towel to slide quickly beneath the warm water.  The air is brisk and cold on my face and clouds of steam block out any view of the withered vines of the moonflowers and jasmine.  I can look up through the thin black branches of the maple tree and see a million stars that look close enough to touch.  It’s so hard to get out.  I have to think about it for several minutes before I get up the nerve to jump out and wrap the towel around me, slam down the cover on the spa and run back inside to get dressed.  Very different but pleasureable anyway.  I needed some pleasure.  Today was a nightmare.  It seems like work and home have me in an iron fist and I can’t seem to get free.  It gets dark so quickly and I’m finding myself slipping into that miserable winter routine when it gets dark even before I get home from work and I’m pulled to the couch to sit on my ass and watch TiVo.

I won’t even go into the details except to say that I worked 11 hours and then came home to have an arguement with DH because I forgot that he wanted me to come home early today so he could use my car to go to a car auction and try to find something to replace his car that was totalled.  My bad.  I really forgot but I got angry because he was making such a big deal out of it.  He had a right to be upset because he did ask me to get home early because the car auction is only held on Wednesday afternoons and he’s been waiting for it.  He can’t go next week because we’ll be out of town.  He even reminded me yesterday evening.  I just wasn’t thinking.  Still, I found it difficult to take because I didn’t want to work over and would have preferred to be home anyway but one of the teachers who teaches after school ESS had a death in the family and had to leave school and they asked if I could cover her after-school class from 2:30 to 4:30.  I said I would.  It actually pays my regular hourly rate and I thought a little extra cash would be nice.  In the meantime, DH is calling my cell like crazy and I’m not even in my room to answer it.  I got mad because I felt guilty.  I apologized but he just kept going on and on and on until I got mad.  Once I got mad, he was apologetic but it still made me feel bad.  I can only juggle so many balls at one time and I don’t expect to be chastised like a two year old when I make a mistake.  He apologized and hugged me and tried to make up for his anger and I accepted his apology but it still cast a dark cloud over me all evening.

I’m going to bed.  Another day tomorrow.  Hopefully, a better one.

Running a little late this morning. If I don’t cut it off here, I won’t get my little workout.

6:10 - Exercise is done, shower is done, hair is done.  Nothing left but clothes and makeup and that doesn’t take long so I have a few more minutes while the boys get ready.

Phyllisann asked me to make no bake cookies for the session today and I did.  They didn’t set very well.  How can you mess up no bake cookies?  I mean, really!  So, DS made another batch and they didn’t set up either.  Weird…now I have about four dozen soft, gooey, no bake cookies.  Oh well, teachers will eat anything.  These sessions don’t really bother me.  After fixing all this crap and staring at it all day, I get sick of it and I’m not even tempted to eat it.  Shouldn’t be a problem.

Gotta run now.  No Barbie shoes today!  Nice Liz Claiborne jeans, a yellow sweater with a striped shirt under it and tennis shoes.  Yay!  Toes are very happy this morning!

6:20 - Feeling soooo much better. I’m not going to weigh myself for a couple of days because I think I’d get depressed but I really needed this break from dieting and exercise. It felt great to do a quick 15 minutes this morning. The heart rate is up and I feel refreshed. I burned 121 calories in the last 15 minutes and now I can feel good about getting things up and going, slap on some makeup, some new clothes, a pair of Barbie shoes, and knock em dead!

4:00 p.m. - Crap!  I forgot I had to work with kids all day long today without sitting down because I’d be walking around helping them work online.  Those Barbie’s just about killed me!  Bright red slings with cut out toes and a 3″ heel.  A three inch heels rises exponentially with the time spent standing on them.  One cutesy little girl said, “I love your shoes!” and four or five people said I looked good today so I guess it was worth it.  Wasn’t it?

I worked from the time I walked in the door until 3:30 when I left and I don’t think I got to sit down more than ten minutes all day.  I didn’t even get a working lunch today.  Tomorrow should be easier.

Now I’m going to take a few minutes to see what you guys have been up to!

We had a good weekend.  Did a ton of shopping yesterday.  I got a Calvin Klein jacket for $50.00.  Not something I would ordinarily have bought but DIL kept raving about how fantastic it looked so I bought it.  I also got a really cute lime green coat for the low, low price of $16.99, two Ann Taylor sweaters for $20 each, a pair of Liz Claiborne jeans for $20.00 and three really great Bass sweaters for DH.  Got a few jewelery trinkets and two tops that would have Clinton and Stacy going ballistic because they’re way too young for me and they’re flimsy, flirty little pieces of fluff that I shouldn’t even own but they were only $4.00 each so I figured what Stacy and Clinton don’t know won’t hurt them.  I’ve never seen the mall so busy.  They were packed!  The Christmas shopping has begun.

Had a great time with DS, DIL, and the grandkiddies.  DIL was at her best and we stayed up until after midnight argueing with DS and DH about politics and drinking way too much wine.  Poor little Scout is being eaten alive by poison ivy or poison oak or something.  He was over here last weekend and he kept jumping into piles of leaves and rolling around in them.  I don’t see how he could have gotten it, but he seems to have contacted poison ivy and they sent him home from school Wednesday because of the rash.  DIL has been treating it with benadryl, hydrocortisone ointment, and Calamine lotion but it just keeps getting worse.  He was looking better yesterday evening and then woke up this morning like something out of a horror movie.  She’s doing exactly what the doctor said but she’s taking him back tomorrow because he doesn’t seem to be responding.  Poor little guy.

I feel relaxed, refreshed, and ready to start another week.  Just 1 1/2 weeks until we get to head down to Florida!

So…here I am.  Drinking my coffee, blogging, and getting ready to throw my PJs into the RV.  We ought to have a good time.

As an update…I met with my students for the third time yesterday and started training them to repair laptops.  I can’t keep up with it anymore and I decided to use my students.  The curriculum is totally up to me and I really want to teach them about internet usage and safety and how to use some more advanced programs but I think I can throw a section in there on basic computer repairs.  I showed some of them how to fix broken keys and gave them a stack of laptops to work on, showed some more how to configure them for the wireless network, showed some others how to wire the carts and set them up and then gave my “problem child” a few that needed airport cards replaced.  There were only five laptops with that problem so it made sense to have only one student working on them and it gave me a chance to talk with him when I showed him how to fix them.  He was very apologetic for his outburst on Thursday and I told him I just couldn’t have that.  He was very enthusiastic about being given the responsibility of repairing the laptops and we got over the first hurdle.  He apologized and I told him I realized he had some behavior issues and would work with him the best I could but I would NOT let him disrupt my class.  We seemed to form a tenuous rapport and he was very respectful.  Guess we’ll see what happens.  I had an opportunity to speak with the AP about him and I haven’t seen his paperwork yet but, apparently, he’s bipolar, lives in an abusive atmosphere (which hasn’t been proven or addressed) and is dealing with a lot of crap.  The AP tells me the kid’s mother is with a physically abusive boyfriend and she gets housing provided by the state but she’s pretty much moved out of the house and in with the boyfriend and the four kids are left alone in the house.  Their water is turned off and the mom comes by a couple times a week to hang out for a little while and drop off some food.  I don’t understand that kind of stuff.  If they know what’s going on, why hasn’t it been addressed?  The AP says Child Protective Services is “working on it”.  This kid is 14 and he has a 12 year old sister, and brothers who are 17 and 19.  I think the mom is getting away with it because the 19 year old is residing in the house.  Guess I’ll find out more as the days progress.  In the meantime, I’ll try to build a relationship with this kid so that I can get what I need from him and he can get something he needs from me.

On that note…I’m off to the showers and then going incommunicato in Edinburgh until tomorrow afternoon.  As Joy would say, “Toodles!”