Happy, Healthy Me :)

Yesterday went pretty much as planned, except that I skipped dinner. I was just two tired and upset to bother. I also had two ciders, which I had planned for.

The walk was great! I have the beginnings of a farmer’s tan

Today:

Breakfast (at 5:15 because I woke up really hungry!): Black coffee, and oatmeal with cinnamon, 1 yogurt cup and a banana

Snack: Two hardboiled eggs and an apple.

Dinner: Salad with chickpeas, tomato, cucumber, dill, pepper, and a packet of dressing.

Snack: 1 yogurt cup and a banana.

Dinner: Not sure. Probably rice, corn and a protein.

Exercise: I want to take a walk to this store by my house that sells bags of dried fruit for really cheap.

Yesterday between lunch and dinner, I had too many mustard pretzels as well as a donut. Oh, well! I’ll make up for it today And if I did it over, I would settle for just two pretzels, and forego the donut (I’m tired of being dissapointed!).

Today:

Breakfast - black coffee, 1 banana and 1 apple (really not hungry, probably will be as soon as I’m at work!)

Snack - 1 yogurt cup

Lunch and dinner: Two salads with tomato, cucumber, green olives, beans, black pepper, and dill. Dressings - one will be ranch Spritzer, and the other 1 individual packet of Thousand Island.

Snacks - 1 apple and 1 banana, two boiled eggs, 1 yogurt cup…

Exercise: 4+ hour hike in the river valley.

YAY!!!!!!!

Today…

Breakfast: 1 packet instant oatmeal and 1 yogurt cup

Lunch: Salad with tomato, cucumber, beans and sundried tomato and pesto dressing

Snack: 1 yogurt cup

Dinner: Salad with tomato, cucumber, beans and ceaser Spritzer

Exercise: 1 hour walk

Tomorrow…

Breakfast: 1 instant oatmeal packet and 1 yogurt cup with 1 banana

Snack: A couple peices of cheese

Lunch: Salad with tomato, cucumber and egg salad made of two eggs, 1 T mayo and 1 T mustard

Snack: 1 yogurt cup

Dinner: Stir fry with bean sprouts, mushrooms, etc.

Exercise: Hopefully a stroll with my honey

I’m ready to get serious.

I have two weeks before vacation. Just being able to go is such a blessing, because with me hardly working due to school, it was hard to imagine that we could go for one week, let alone two!! Can it be true??

Before we go, I want to be well on the way back to healthy, and I want to have a handle on this depression. My short term goal is simply to get back to eating mostly healthy foods, and to lose 4-5 of these extra pounds. During the two weeks that we’re gone, I’m going to use it as a further opportunity to get out of my rut - eat good, get more active. It will be an opportunity to lose another 4-5 pounds. That leaves almost a week until grad, which means that by then, I will once again be close to my goal weight.

I’m also going to be spending some money on new clothes. Looking good means feeling good. I know that it will help.

Tomorrow, I’m starting over. Full steam ahead!

No wonder I’ve been feeling so depressed lately. I feel like I’ve lost myself in the shuffle. I love romance novels, hiking in the river valley, spending time with my family and friends, photography, Crystal Light slurpees, Starbucks skinny fraps… Anyway, I’m getting into things more then activities:) But I literally haven’t read, much less written, much of anything in the past few months. I haven’t been in the river valley at all yet. I haven’t taken a picture in months. I’ve steadily canceled almost every single date with family and friends. I’ve been shut away in my house, eating and hating myself.

It seems to have started pretty much when I went to school. What caused it? The stress? Feeling like I had no time for me? I don’t know. But I want me back.

It starts with taking better care of myself. I’ve made the final revisions on my healthy eating plan. I’m going to cut down (as in none when possible) on processed foods, especially those containing flour, and sugar, and eat mostly fresh produce and lean proteins. I finally found a safety pin for my keys, so I have no excuse to not go jogging whenever possible. I’m going to buy myself some new business casual clothes so I can feel like a million bucks going into interviews over the next few weeks. I’m going to book dates with all the people that I love whenever I have some free time. Shutting myself in my house has become too associated with eating. That is going to change.

My food for today:

A breakfast sandwich from Timmy’s consisting of egg, cheese and a multigrain bagel

Next time, I will just get the egg (no cheese) and a yogurt cup. Much better!

An apple and a banana

Salad with romaine lettuce, kidney beans, cucumber, tomato and ranch Spritzer for dressing (love those things!)

My dates:

Hanging out with my honey on the nights that we have off together.

Friday night is the Bones finale with my friend K. Girls’ night!

Next Thursday, going hiking in the river valley with my best friend L.

I think my biggest challenge right now is changing the associations that I have developed with bingeing - being alone at home, having an afternoon off, watching TV. Alot of things, obviously! Also, I’m struggling with how much I hate how I look. I don’t like my body at all. I can see the fat that has steadily creapt on over the last few months. I know that it will take time to come off, but looking at my body right now literally makes me upset - so I avoid it.

I will learn to love myself again, and how to take care of myself. I will do this. Day 1 is under my belt. I have a two week challenge to keep this up. It’s just two weeks, and for each day, I can crawl into bed proud of myself.

I need to go make resumes now and start applying to fabolous jobs!

I’m frustrated with my body! I’ve been crashing early for the last two days, and I still find it almost impossible to drag ass out of bed. Oh well. With all the abuse I’ve been dealing it lately, I should be happy that it’s still running as well as it currently is.
Yesterday, I had a great day eating wise with none of the things that I’m restricting! I didn’t really feel cranky, but I did catch myself daydreaming about junk. That’s not really unusual for when I’m in a bingeing funk and can’t seem to climb out. The huge fruit tray at work gave me more to snack on, and that helped!
Today will be yogurt and fruit for breakfast (after I get to work, since I’m just not hungry right now…), two salads (one for lunch, one for supper - with chickpeas, avocado and boiled eggs on top) and almonds to snack on. Then after dinner I’m going for a jog. It feels great to be on track again!

My tonsils are huge! Just in time for one of the busiest days of the month at the grocery store, and for me to start work at the hospital
I had french toast for breakfast for under 400 calories. That was my one a day meal with processed carbohydrates in it. The rest of the day is going to be good for me snacks, lots of orange juice, and a salad when I get home. Then straight to bed so I can get up at 5 am fresh and ready to go! Yea right
My long term goal is to be a trim 120 lbs again by the middleish of June, when my grad ceremony is taking place. I have smaller goals in between, to keep myself motivated and not feeling overwhelmed. I’m feeling good - strong, and confident in my ability to stay on track!