Happy, Healthy Me :)

I weighed myself at the doctor’s this morning, and the scale read 115! So in about two weeks, with just cutting out bingeing (because I just started cleaning up my diet), I’ve lost 5 lbs. That is awesome!

My food for the day, and my plans -

B - 1 cup mashed potatoes (150?)

1 egg (70)

1/4 cup shredded cheese (110)

1 orange

S  - plate of assorted veggies…carrot, pepper, celery, tomato, and cucumber

1 T low-fat ranch dressing (35)

L - probably tomato soup (120) with 1/4 C shredded cheese (110), two rice cakes (100) and lots of hot sauce and chili spice.

D - No idea yet.

S - 1 green apple with 1 yogurt (50)

I’m also going to buy a diet pop later, to help with sweet cravings.

I hate being stuck in the house because the stupid placement agency is taking their sweet time to call me back! Grrrr :S

I’m particularly proud that on my all nighter, I didn’t binge - I just had one tablespoon of peanut butter a couple times when I was feeling really hungry.

Today, I had:

B - one pancake with 1 T sugar-free syrup (110)

one eggwhite and one egg (105)

one orange

one banana with 1 tsp unsweetened cocoa (5?)

one green apple with 1 tsp sea salt (5?)
No lunch, because I woke up at 12 and didn’t get hungry at all.

S - 1 yogurt (50)

one orange

D - 1 salmon steak (150)

1 potato (100)

1 T mayo with 1 T ketchup (120)

corn

I’m planning on having another green apple for a snack, so another 5 calories. Total for today - 650.

I really feel the need to write today.

On Day 9, I binged. It was awful. Instead of bringing me down as it has in the past, it made me feel so much more motivated not to do it again.

Unfortunately, stress, boredom and loneliness shook my determination today. Instead of lunch, I had a bit more then 300 calories worth of nuts, and then I ended up eating 1 of my apples for tomorrow (I only allow myself 2 a day, and 1 serving of fruit at each sitting - I started bingeing on fresh food, so now I portion control that, as well), and half a jar of green beans. I’m not going to count any of that as a binge…the nuts replace my lunch, and the green beans will count as any and all snacks for today. I really don’t like feeling like I came so close to caving in again.

Now, I’m fighting the urge to keep eating. All there really is left in my house is junk, and even if I were to eat more fruit, I would still feel like I binged. I’m going to go brush my teeth, drink more water and chew gum. I know that I can do this!

Dinner tonight is going to be pizza with the in-laws. I’m going to have a big serving of salad, and then two small pieces of veggy pizza. That should keep me around my 400 calorie limit.

 I feel like I wobbled today. Here’s how my eating went:

Breakfast -

An omelet consisting of one egg (75), 1/4 cup shredded cheese (100), one mushroom, and 2 pieces of whole wheat bread (150).

Lunch -

6 inch Subway seafood sensation on whole wheat (390) with veggies, olives (20), banana peppers (20), and a bit of sweet onion sauce (20).

Dinner -

One potato (100) with 1 TB ‘bacon’ bits (30), 1/4 cup shredded cheese (100) and 2 veggy meatballs (77) with green beans (50).

Snack -

105 calories dark chocolate.

1 Ceaser

The reasons that I felt wobbly are…

- Eating out always makes me feel uncomfortable, because I never know for sure how many calories I’m taking in. In this case, I need to remember that all I realy did was have a healthy, reasonable meal. I didn’t get my usual extra olives, and I really enjoyed that sandwich. I’m a huge fan of Subway, and the seafood is my favorite.

- Once I had finished the Ceaser, I wanted more to drink. But I have been faithfully sticking to my goal of one drink on a weekday (I only had one on Sunday, too, because I didn’t feel like having another one). Once I drank some water, I was ok.

- I actually checked an empty chip bag on the coffee table to see if it had any chips left in it. It didn’t. If it had, I may have eaten them. I don’t like that feeling. I need my reasons for sticking to my resolutions to be more visible in my day-to-day life. I haven’t figured out how to do that yet.

What I did great today…

- I didn’t even finish all of the chocolate I was going to allow myself (half of a Hershey’s 50% cocoa bar for 125 calories). I put the last piece away because I didn’t want it.

- I spent my day at work learning my new job and focused on what I was doing. That’s a big change over spending all day thinking of eating!

- I was alone most of the night, and didn’t slip into the binge-until-Jeff-gets-home mode.

- I drank water. Sometimes I honestly forget that after eating, I need to pause, relax and drink water in order to calm the urge to binge. When I do remember, it amazes me how well it works.

Go me!!!!

The YMCA right next to my house opens November 24. I can hardly wait to start going! In the meantime, I need to get off my butt and go for a walk more. Right now, I can’t, because I somehow injured my right foot I need to see a doc about it, but between grocery shopping tomorrow and then a concert on Wednesday, it probably won’t happen until atleast Thursday.

I can’t wait to get to the grocery store - shortly after I run out of fresh produce, I start craving it like crazy. I have been getting sort of bored with my salads consisting of romaine lettuce and canned fish, so I’m going to get coleslaw mix, sliced almonds and raisins (instead of sugared cranberries) and toss them with the sweet onion sauce…or maybe I’ll get some Italian vinagrette. I’m not really enjoying the sweet onion stuff…only Subway seems to do that flavor right.

I have no idea what I’m going to have for breakfast! Not a good feeling, but this time I will not cave in to a fat, carby muffin or bagel. I’ll figure something out.

I’m going to go cook my lunch…mushroom rice and shrimp with corn. Yummy!

I woke up early, so I have a long day alone ahead of me. In the past, these are the hardest times to resist temptation…usually, it’s not even craving a food, it just ends up being eating out of boredom and loneliness, and then feeling really awful.

For brunch, I had a salmon steak, rice cakes, and corn (less then 300 calories). Afterwards, I had the urge to find something sweet to keep munching on, but I didn’t want my stomach to hurt or to feel guilty. So I brushed my teeth and chewed gum.

I’m rather frustrated because I hurt my foot and have to walk on my toes on that side. So that pretty much ex-nays the outdoors stuff I could have done today, such as a trip to Timmy’s, a trip to the mall to get a manicure, and a walk to the grocery store to get supper :(  I guess it’s not all a bad thing, considering that it snowed outside. But the sun is shining, and I’m rather bored.

I was planning on shrimp ceaser salad for supper, but I can’t go get lettuce. So we’ll probably have shrimp with rice and corn on the cob…or maybe instead of rice, mashed potatoes. I just need to go get milk from Mac’s.

If you look on the internet, especially on these forums, you’ll find alot of tips on how to stop the urge to binge in its tracks. From my experience, you need to pick and choose which of those tips works for you, and maybe figure out some of your own on the way.

To remind myself, these are the ones that work for me:

Hug your water bottle. Literally. Just. Drink. Water. With lemon. With juice crystals. From a wine glass. Perrier. But you’re really not that stuck up.

Put your star on your signature. You do not want to have to remove it once it’s there.

Have 100 calories of dark chocolate instead of loads of milk chocolate. So much more satisfying.

Eat for the body you want, not the body that you have.

Eating makes you crave more. Grab a cup of water, and drink it. Wait atleast 10 minutes. The craving will pass. If it lingers, grab another glass.

Pick up the phone and talk to someone. You’ve agreed that you are no longer allowed to eat while talking on the phone.

Get out of the house. Especially on the weekends when you wake up alone…go to Timmy’s and get coffee. The fresh air and java does you a world a good.

Get out of your pajamas and put on something nice. You eat better when you feel good about how you look.

Of course, I’ll add to this list as I go along. I’ve discovered that it never stops being a learning experience!

I started my binge free challenge on November 1, so two days ago. My goal for the end of November is to have lost 8-10 pounds, but for now, my main focus is on having a healthy relationship with food. I know that my main roadblock to losing the weight and feeling good about myself is my binges.

Each day, I’m either going to come here to post my plan for the day, or if I don’t have time, I’ll post at the end of the day to update on how I did. In the 3fatchicks forum, I’m giving myself a star for every day that I don’t binge. Sometimes I do it at the beginning of the day or toward the end when I’m feeling the urge, because if I binge, I have to remove it, and I don’t want to do that.

I want to eat because I’m hungry, and for enjoyment - but moderation is key. I am going to be eating three healthy meals a day, and then snacking on fruits and vegetables and a couple of 100 calorie snacks each day. I’ve even binged on fruits, so when I have fruit for a snack, I’m only going to have one piece.

Today is my niece’s birthday party, so here’s my plan…

Eat a healthy brunch (since I woke up late).

Have a light midafternoon meal.

Eat a reasonable portion of the food at my sister’s house.

Say no to cake, because I don’t want to deal with the sugar rush or the guilty feeling of having eaten it.

When I get home, reward myself with a desert of an apple with a little bit of splenda and cinnamon.

I’ve successfully avoided the Haloween candy because there was none available, and then I promised myself that if I didn’t touch any of it, I could buy one of those Hershey’s 50% Dark Chocolate bars and eat half (100 calories). I’m not doing that tonight, because eating at my sister’s will throw me off a little…but one of these nights

Also, the Pizza Hut deal with a two-topping pizza and shrimp meal for $15 has been tempting me alot. I know that it would be alot of fat and carbs, though, so instead…when I go grocery shopping, I’m going to buy one of those thin wheat crust pizzas with lots of veggies on it, and have it with shrimp (no breading) and cocktail sauce. I’ll even cut up veggies and have them with dip (light ranch)

Anyway, I’m pretty hungry…so off to start my day. It’s beautiful outside!

~ Penelope